I saw a beautiful thought on Parashat Bo this past Shabbat from the writings of Rav Shmuel Berenbaum in the pamphlet Tiferet Shemuel. It says, “Moshe was great in the eyes of Paroah and the eyes of the Egyptian people.”
But Moshe Rabbenu was the symbol of destruction of the Egyptian people. This is comparable to saying that Bibi Netanya is great in the eyes of the Gazan people, and in the eyes of all of Hamas. Come on! He was the face of destruction. How could Moshe Rabbenu be so beloved? His answer is that the Egyptians realized that Moshe Rabbenu was an Eved Hashem, a representative of God. Nothing he was doing was coming from himself. And he says, when a person does something, Leshem Shamayim, without any agendas, without any aim of personal benefit or gain, people will not have any claims on him. They won’t have any complaints against him.
He said that in the Mir Yeshiva in Europe, there was a great man, who at that time was still a young boy named David Kronglas. (He eventually went on to become the Mashigach of Baltimore Yeshiva). He was given the position of giving out the Aliyot at the Yeshiva. Of course, in any synagogue, the misader or gabbai who gives out the Aliyot is definitely under scrutiny. People think, “You’re giving this to your friend, you're giving this to your relative. You're giving this to someone that has influence. You forget about the simple man….” and so on and so forth….
He did not really want the job because people would have complaints about who he was choosing, so he went to Rav Yerucham Levovitz to share his concerns. Rav Yerucham said, “If you do this job without any personal agenda, if you use logic, and think about who deserves what, not because they're related to you, or because of any connections, you'll see success, and no one will have any complaints against you.”
And that's the way it was.
This is an important principle and it’s interesting that the Hovot Halevavot, in Shaar Bitachon, talks about how one is supposed to deal with people that he has a responsibility to, such as his family, his children, his wife, and so on.
So how does bitachon fit in? He says, “You have to try your best to fulfill your obligations, to do what they want, to get along with them, to stay away from arguments with them. Do everything that's good for them, to be a good, loyal person and do the best you can, as it says, VeAhavta LeRe’echa Kamocha.”
But the key is, “When you're dealing with your family, the goal should not be to get rewarded, to further yourself in their eyes, to love their honor and their praise, or to control them. No. You are doing it to fulfill the will of your Creator. You got married, you signed up for the responsibility, and if you do that in the right way, everything will be fine.”
But he says, “If you are dealing with your family or your children, or wherever it may be, that you have responsibility towards, and your goal is to get reward from them, to move further with them, to get praise and honor from them, to control them, you're not going to get that. You're gonna toil for naught. But if you do it as service to Hashem, then Hashem will help you out. And in the end, they will praise you and they will appreciate you.” He mentions Shlomo Hamelech, who asked for wisdom, and God said, “You asked for wisdom? I'll give you the honor, and I'll give you the wealth as well.”
He says the same thing is true with your responsibilities to your family. Your job is to do it Leshem Shamayim. And once you do Leshem Shamayim, Hashem will throw in the other things as well. This is similar to what happened with Moshe Rabbenu, and it’s part of our bitachon, to realize that when I do what's right and I have the correct mindset, and I'm not interested in my own agenda or my own needs and wants, when I'm trying to serve Hashem like in the story of Moshe Rabbenu with Paroah, in the end, everything works out, falls into place and people respect you and like you. But if you're going out for the respect and to be liked, then it doesn't work.
So, it's a bitachon-related thought because ultimately, you're relying on Hashem to make the things work out, and you’re not going to get there through your own tactics.
Have a wonderful day.