Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. There's a beautiful letter from Rav Yitzhak Hutner, the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Chaim Berlin in Brooklyn. In a letter (number 128) that he wrote to a student who was down on himself, Rav Hutner writes the following important information,
“It is a terrible problem that when we discuss the greatness of our Gedolim, we actually deal only with the end of their stories. We tell about their perfection, but we omit any mention of the inner battles which raged in their souls. The impression ones gets is that they were created with their full stature.
For example, everyone's impressed by the purity of the Chafetz Chaim’s speech. However, who knows about all the wars, the battles, the impediments, the downfalls, and the retreats that the Chafetz Chaim experienced in his fight with the evil inclination?
And as a result, when a young man who's imbued with a holy spirit and with ambition experiences impediments and downfalls, he believes that he is not planted in the house of Hashem. This is because this young man thinks that being planted in Hashem’s house means is experiencing tranquility of the soul.”
But that's a mistake. That is a wrong thought. And that's the problem that comes from reading about only the success of the Gedolim.
Yes, the Chafetz Chaim spoke Lashon Hara.
How dare you say that?
Of course he did. He wasn't born an angel. Of course, he spoke Lashon Hara, and the greatest of the greats had their challenges, but they were great. Not because they had no challenges, but because they had challenges and they overcame them. They slipped and they got up.
The Rambam, aside from writing his great Yad Hazaka (which he locked himself in a room for 10 years to do so,
says the Hida), was also a doctor.
Why was he a doctor? He was a doctor because at the beginning of his life he was supported by his brother who was a wealthy businessman. Then once out at sea, the ship sunk and his brother passed away. The Rambam wrote in a letter that he couldn't get out of bed for six months. That means the Rambam was admitting that he had a depression. He had a challenge.
Where was his Emunah and Bitachon?
Yes. Emunah and Bitachon is very nice. But he had just lost his sole supporter, and it was a challenge for him. But he overcame it and he continued to become great.
Now, people don't like to hear these stories, because we think that it’s blasphemy to say that a Gadol ever made a mistake.
But as it says,
כִּ֣י אָדָ֔ם אֵ֥ין צַדִּ֖יק בָּאָ֑רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֥ר יַעֲשֶׂה־טּ֖וֹב וְלֹ֥א יֶחֱטָֽא
No one does good without sin.
People sin. People make mistakes. The difference is, Do you pick yourself up or do you fall into despair? That's the difference.
Rabbenu Yona, in Shaar Teshuva ( 1st Shaar) says If a sadik sins, you're guaranteed that by the next morning he did Teshuva. He doesn’t say that a Sadik never sins. He sins. He learns from his mistake and he corrects himself.
Maybe, by the time we meet them, when they're already in their sixties, seventies and eighties, they’ve learned from their mistakes. And there are very few mistakes. But when they were 20, 30 or 40, there were definitely mistakes. No question about it.
But they learned from their mistakes.
In Bereshit 32,29, Hashem tells Yaakov that his name is Yisrael,
כי שרית עם אלקים ועם אנשים ותוכל
because you struggled with men and with Gods and you were successful.
And the question is asked, why is he named after his struggle? He should be named after his success. The answer is, that wasn’t Yaakov Avinu’s greatness. His greatness wasn't that he won the war. His greatness was the all- night struggle. He struggled and went through the whole night. That was the greatness, that he picked himself up.