We have been learning that the Baal Bitachon understands that having money does not guarantee he’ll have food. By the same token, not having money doesn’t mean you won’t have food.
Ultimately it’s Hashem’s Will that gives you what you have. The bottom line of what you will get, G-d decides.
The same holds true for happiness. Happiness is very elusive. You can have everything and still not be happy.
Or you can have nothing and still be happy. You can spin your wheels and have no food, and the same goes for happiness.
Just like you can have money and no food, you can have food but no happiness.
God decides the bottom line.
There’s a well known story about a king who was sick. His advisors told him that in order to be healed he’d need to wear the shirt of a happy man. So his servants set out to find someone happy so they could take his shirt to the king. They searched the villages, and came upon a man who seemed to have everything. When they told him what they needed, he said he couldn’t help them, he had too many problems, he wasn’t happy. They kept searching yet they couldn’t find anyone happy. Then they entered a Jewish neighborhood. As they passed a small hut, they overheard a man exclaiming loudly, “Baruch Hashem I have such a nice family, Baruch Hashem I had a good day,” and on and on, thanking Hashem a hundred times. They were so excited! They had finally found a happy man! They knocked on the door, told the man about the king. They asked him if he was happy. He replied that indeed, he was. So they asked for his shirt. There was just one problem.
He didn’t own a shirt.
The lesson? We have to rely on Hashem for happiness and we need Bitachon to really be happy.
Rav Chaim Pilaggi, in his introduction to to his
מועד לכל חי, writes that he noticed something interesting.
As a rabbi involved in shalom bayit in the community, it seemed to him that before holidays, there were a lot of fights. Some people spent a lot of money but weren’t happy. They’d argue about where to go for the meals, who had to clean up for whom, they even fought over housekeepers. People fought a lot before the holidays.
He wrote that he knew why. In parashat Re’eh, there are eight types of people listed that should be happy and rejoice on the festivals: Your son, your daughter, your slave your maidservant, the Levi, the stranger, the orphan and the widow.
Rashi divides these people into two groups:
Your people: your children, your slave and your servants
and Hashem’s people: the Levi, the convert, the widow and the orphan.
Rashi writes that Hashem says, if you bring joy to My four people I’ll bring joy to your four people. That’s a guarantee from G-d. Rav Pilaggi goes on to say that the opposite holds true as well, if you don’t take care of Hashem’s people....and regarding the people who were fighting on the holidays, Rav Pilaggi writes that after delving into their affairs, he discovered that they were not contributing their fair share towards the needy and impoverished. He writes that if you want a segula (a guarantee) for happiness, make sure to take care of Hashem’s people.
And since we have been studying how to reframe, I have a “collection reframe”
I collect money for Lev Chana, an organization established in memory of my mother in-law, Mrs. Chana Scherman ah. They provide clothing store gift cards for Yom Tov for needy people. We gave out close to $150,00 so far this season, in gift cards and vouchers that are only accepted in clothing stores, and the cards are invalidated after Yom Tov.
So we are clothing the needy for the holidays. It’s a big mitzvah.
I’m not just collecting tzedaka though....
I am selling happiness insurance. You spend a lot of money on the holidays. Take a small percentage of your expenses and put it in happiness insurance. After what you spend on the holidays, this small insurance expense is worthwhile. And again, it’s a big mitzvah.
People say they buy their insurance ( life, car, homeowners etc) based on relationships they have with others. They can only buy their car insurance from their in-laws etc... Hopefully over these past few months we have established a relationship, although we don’t get to see or speak to one another in person. I’m not just collecting. I’m selling you happiness insurance. If you want a segula for happiness, please help this wonderful cause in memory of my mother in law.
Tizku Lemitzvot.