The Hovot HaLevavot says that one of the fundamentals of bitachon is that a person is relying on the Hesed/ kindness of Hashem. We don’t rely on Hashem because we deserve things, we rely on His kindness.
The Reshit Hochma in Shaar HaAhava, (chapter 12), says something very interesting. He says that a person should not rely on his good deeds; He shouldn’t think that his merits will save him from any type of tragedy or sickness, because if that were the case, he would end up eating up all his merits.
In other words, if you rely on Hashem based on your merits, that attitude causes you to use up your merits.
Rather, we should rely on Hashem’s kindness. In truth, all the good deeds in the world that one could ever do, can never repay Hashem for even one of the kindnesses that He does. Instead, a person should think, “Just like Hashem gives food to all creatures- to ants, snakes and crocodiles (as it says in the Gemarah, Hashem spends a portion of His day, so to say, giving out food to the largest and smallest of the animals) and just like Hashem has mercy on the worm and on the snake, not because of their deeds...it’s all Hashem’s kindness. Like it says,
נותן לחם לכל בשר
G-d gives bread to every creature
כי לעולם חסדו
For His kindness is forever.
That is the greatest praise of G-d: that His kindness is forever.
So, a person is supposed to think the same, “If Hashem’s kindness is forever, I am going to bank on Hashem’s kindness- and not because of my deeds.”
A pasuk in Daniel says,
לֹ֣א עַל־צִדְקֹתֵ֗ינוּ אֲנַ֨חְנוּ מַפִּילִ֤ים תַּחֲנוּנֵ֙ינוּ֙ לְפָנֶ֔יךָ כִּ֖י עַל־רַחֲמֶ֥יךָ הָרַבִּֽים
Not because of our good deeds are we pouring our supplications in front of you-
Only on your abundant kindness.
This is an important attitude. A person should always think, “I’m just asking for absolute kindness. Not because I deserve it.”
This all has to do with our attitude. I’m stressing the word “attitude” because it is not automatic. How we view things will decide how they happen.
The Ben Ish Chai, in his sefer Ben Yoyada on Berachot (לב,ב)proves it from a Gemara that says as follows:
Rav Yochanan says whoever prays a long prayer and looks into it, in the end it will bring him to heartache.
What does that mean?
Rashi says that a person who thinks, “I prayed a good, long prayer, I’ll be answered ...” in the end, it’ll lead to heart ache, because that prayer won’t be answered. The Ben Ish Chai explains that the Gemara says “whoever prays a long prayer and looks into “it”
What does “it” mean?
It’s like the person says, “Oh, I prayed well, so I’m going to get it because of my prayer.” He is not counting on Hashem’s kindness. And if he thinks it’s because of his prayer, and not because Hashem’s kindness, then it won’t work.
But if a person spends a lot of time praying, and doesn’t “look into it,” which means he doesn’t think it was his prayer that makes things happen, but it is Hashem’s kindness that should make things happen, then it will happen. So, it is up to the person to think correctly.
It’s human nature for a person to think that he is on a good streak, that he’s coming to Shul, he is learning well, and so he expects things to go well for him. He also thinks that if he pulls back, then maybe things will go bad for him. As if to say, he is relying on Hashem to get what he wants, based on how he acts. Of course, Hashem rewards and punishes. But that is not to say that when we ask Hashem for things, we should think that we deserve them. We have to rely on Hashem’s kindness, and His kindness is forever.
The Gaon says this in Mishleh. He quotes a Zohar that says Avraham Avinu believed in Hashem. Why wasn’t he afraid of his sins?
Because he considered everything that he got from G-d until then as a kindness. Therefore, if it was a kindness until then, it would continue to be a kindness further on.
But if a person thinks, “Oh, until now, I deserved it, but now, I don’t know,” then he’s right... you really don’t know.
If you look back and realize that until now everything was an abundance of kindness, because Hashem’s mercy is unending, Hashem never changes.
The same unending mercy that got me to where I am now, will continue and take me further.
So again, the more a person thinks that he is befitting, the more he has to worry, because maybe he won’t be befitting in the future. But once a person realizes that he doesn’t deserve anything, and that it is all a gift from G-d, and that it is all complete kindness, then there is no difference now- why should Hashem’s kindness stop?
כי לעולם חסדו
For His kindness is forever.
That is a principle that we have to constantly reiterate.
Hovot HaLevavot says that one of the reasons that people don’t have enough bitachon is because they don’t understand and appreciate G-d’s unending kindness.
G-d is feeding the whole world. It’s almost like, lehavdil, the Israelis who continue to give electricity to the Palestinians, even while they use that electricity against the Israelis.
The Tomar Devorah says that Hashem is the greatest tolerator of insult and disgrace, because G-d is constantly pumping energy into creation, and with that energy, people sin against Him. And yet Hashem doesn’t stop it. This has been going on for thousands of years. All the sinners wake up in the morning, to a nice big breakfast.
Hashem’s kindness is forever, and therefore, I am counting on that kindness.
That is a reason for one’s bitachon to bear fruit.
Have a wonderful day.