Homemade Emunah
Many people have observed that the winning numbers of the recent multibillion dollar Powerball lottery add up to a sum of 102 (08+27+34+04+19+10), which is the gematria (numerical value) of the Hebrew word אמונה (1+40+6+50+5). Indeed, our faith is our source of wealth. It is the most valuable asset we could ever own, whose worth far exceeds that of any amount of money.
The pasuk says in Tehillim (118:6), ה' לי לא אירא מה יעשה לי אדם – “Hashem is mine, I will not be afraid. What can a man do to me?” The simple meaning of this verse is that since Hashem protects us, we have no reason to fear other people. However, Rav Bloch from Monsey suggested a different interpretation, which he introduced by way of an analogy to a fellow who was traveling by train to a certain location. He was warned that pickpockets often prey on passengers, and so throughout the trip he kept putting his hand near his pocket to check that he had his wallet with him. Finally, he arrived at his destination, and while he was there he happened to come upon an enormous sum of money – millions of dollars. He immediately purchased a piece of material into which he placed the money, and he wrapped that material around his body, underneath his clothes, in order to safeguard it. On the way home, he does not bother checking his wallet on the train. Even if his wallet would be stolen, he figured, it would make no difference to him, because he had millions of dollars safely protected.
Another example might be somebody who finds out he won the Powerball lottery, and when he rushes out to his car to go claim his prize, he sees a parking ticket on the windshield. The ticket does not disturb him for even a moment. He just won millions of dollars. A parking ticket means nothing.
In this pasuk in Tehillim, David Ha’melech says ה' לי – he has Hashem, and this faith is far more valuable than anything in the world. At every moment of his life, he had just won the lottery, because he has Hashem with him. And so he was not afraid of anybody. Anything that anyone could do to him would be like a parking ticket after winning the billion dollar jackpot.
The Gemara in Masechet Berachot (17b) tells that a Heavenly voice announces every day that Hashem sustains the entire world in the merit of Rabbi Hanina ben Dosa, who ate just one קב – an ancient measurement – of carob all week. Rabbi Hanina was impoverished, and all he could afford to eat all week was this amount of carob. The word קב has the gematria of 102, and thus alludes to emunah. The Gemara is telling us that Rabbi Hanina was able to overcome the hardships he endured with his קב – through faith. This was his “winning ticket” that made everything else seem trivial. By realizing that we have Hashem with us, no problem can upset us or get us down. And it was in the merit of Rabbi Hanina’s extraordinary level of emunah that Hashem sustained the entire world.
Another example of Rabbi Hanina’s emunah is found in Masechet Ta’anit (25), where the Gemara tells that once his daughter mistakenly poured vinegar into the lamps of the Shabbat candles instead of oil, and she was very upset. Rabbi Hanina assured her everything would be fine. He told her that the One who decreed that oil should burn can also make vinegar burn. Sure enough, the candles continued burning throughout the entire Shabbat.
Of course, few of us are on the level where we truly feel this way, where nothing disturbs us because of our emunah. How do we reinforce our belief that Hashem is always with us and helping us?
The Mishna in Masechet Bava Metzia (38b) establishes that if somebody finds fruit , he should not replace them , even if he sees that they are no longer fresh, he should not exchange them with other, fresher fruits. The Gemara explains the reason for this halachah: אדם רוצה בקב שלו מתשעה קבים של חבירו – “A person prefers one קב of his own than nine קבין of his fellow’s.” In ancient times, people would grow their own fruits, and the Gemara here teaches that by nature, a person prefers a small amount of fruit which he grew over a larger amount grown by somebody else. We prefer our own handiwork over even greater quantities of other people’s handiwork. One home-baked cookie is preferable to nine from the bakery.
The word קב, as we have seen, alludes to faith. Our Sages here teach that a single portion of “homemade emunah” is more meaningful and inspirational than nine portions of somebody else’s. We derive far more strength from our own personal stories of Providence, from our own experiences when we felt Hashem helping and guiding us, than from other stories. We can hear many stories of others, but even altogether they have less of an impact than a single personal experience.
This is the key to developing emunah: to produce our own קב, our own faith experiences.
Rav Yechezkel Levenstein’s daughter, Rebbetzin Zlata Ginsburg, recalled that although her father did not generally buy lavish gifts for his children, there was one thing for which he gave generous rewards. He once handed her and her sister notebooks and told them to write down every time they saw Hashem’s Providence, promising to reward them for every entry. This led the daughters to keep their eyes open to see Hashem in their lives, and they filled many pages in their notebooks. This is how vitally important it is to look for Hashem’s Providence and to record our experiences. This is the קב שלו – our own personal experiences which inspire us and build our faith far more effectively than any other stories.
Recently, I experienced the power of “homemade emunah.” I delivered a class on the importance of the סעודה רביעית – also known as מלוה מלכה – the meal on Motzaeh Shabbat, which should be accompanied by the singing of special songs and talk about Mashiah. When I researched the topic, I discovered that there are many beautiful songs with which I was not yet familiar. As I was looking into the song אל תירא עבדי יעקב, which is traditionally sung on Motzaeh Shabbat, I was told that there is a tune for this song used by the Syrian community, and I wanted to learn it and the other Motzaeh Shabbat melodies. Shortly thereafter, I happened to be speaking with my dear friend Rico Tuson ( responsible for disseminating tens of thousands of cd’s all around the world and the manager of learntorah.com ) who told me that Hazan David Shiro released an album containing traditional Syrian melodies. He gave me the album to listen to, and sure enough, the first group of tunes consisted of songs for Motzaeh Shabbat, including אל תירא עבדי יעקב.
I wanted to hear the tunes, and Hashem sent them to me. This was my קב שלו, a personal experience of השגחה פרטית which served to bolster my emunah. ( Later I noticed that the haftarah of Perashat Bo , the week I received the cd quotes the pasuk אל תירא עבדי יעקב that is the source of that song)
This is the motivation behind the Hashgahah Peratit Journal project, which has been started in memory of Mr. Charles Sultan. Mr. Sultan began keeping a journal after seeing a letter signed by Rav Moshe Feinstein and Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky, the leading sages of American Jewry in the late 20th century, urging people to take note of Hashem’s involvement in their lives as a means of developing emunah. The letter emphasized that recognizing השגחה פרטית is one of the pillars of Jewish faith, and it is especially important as part of our efforts to educate our children in emunah.
How beautiful it would be for a family if everyone kept such a journal, and then read selected stories around the Shabbat table. This would not only enhance the Shabbat experience, but also build our emunah and that of our children, as we all gain inspiration from the occasions in our lives when Hashem’s presence was seen and felt very clearly.
We are attaching a pdf of the journal with this email, and anybody interested in receiving a single copy should send an email to info@dailyemunah.com. Those interesting in printing multiple copies for their institutions should contact Advanced Copy Center in Flatbush at 718-677-9781.
The Gemara in Masechet Moed Katan (5a) comments, כל השם אורחותיו זוכה ורואה בישועתו של הקדוש ברוך הוא, which is commonly interpreted to mean that whoever pays close attention to his conduct, thinking very carefully about how he should act, earns G-d’s help in combating his evil inclination. (This explanation is given by the Mesilat Yesharim.) Rav Yaakov Hillel, ( Rosh Yeshivat Ahavt Shalom) however, explained the Gemara’s remark differently. He said that if a person carefully studies his life to see Hashem’s Hand guiding him and helping him, and recognizes G-d’s Providence in his daily life, then he is rewarded with Hashem’s help in overcoming his troubles. The more we develop our קב שלו, and recognize Hashem’s involvement in our lives, the more worthy we will be of His ongoing assistance and blessing.