Welcome to the SIMHA Emotional Wellness Minute. We continue on our topic of not using all or nothing thinking; and as with all proper ways of looking at things, we go back to Hashem. Rav Eliyahu Lopian, in his commentary Lev Eliyahu (page 291), points out a very interesting concept:
When a woman (called a Sotah) is suspected by her husband of being alone with another man, and she ignores his warnings not to be alone, and she is seen alone with this man (again), by two witnesses, she is brought to the Bet Hamikdash. Of course, God's goal is to bring this marriage back together again. Maybe he's just suspecting her and will never be able to get the suspicion out of his heart unless God Himself proclaims her innocence.
So they take the holy scroll and dip it in the waters. The ink dissolves and she drinks the truth potion. If she's telling the truth, she lives, but if she’s been unfaithful, she dies (the reason for her death is just to show that she was unfaithful but the end-goal is really that she should live). If she admits that she did something wrong before she drinks, she doesn't have to drink. They aren’t out to kill this lady- just to save the marriage. And in the case of a happy ending, not only doesn't she die, but she's blessed with children, in order to bring some happiness back into this marriage.
The question is, why is this lady rewarded? Yes, it’s true that she didn't sin and she's pure, but she was alone with another man after her husband warned her not to be. So why is she getting rewarded? Rav Lopian’s answer is unbelievable.
First of all, he says, she suffered a lot of embarrassment in this process, as described by the Gemara. Secondly, he explains, God judges you on the situation you are in. Yes, this lady did something she shouldn't have done. She reached a low level that she was alone with another man. But at the end of the day, she didn't commit a sinful act. She stopped before the red line, so she obviously had some self-control. And for that, she gets rewarded.
Look at how Hashem works!
It’s like someone who goes into a bar- whatever he may be drinking (or not), he didn't do anything wrong. All he did is go into the bar and drink. There are a lot of crazy things that might go on there, and who knows what’s doing. But this person controlled himself and didn't do any of that. Now, we would say, “What a bum! He went into the bar and drank for two hours!” But Hashem doesn't look at things that way. Yes, he did go sit and drink, but he also could have done worse, and he controlled himself.
Hashem is showing us how to look at things. We can also learn how to see things using stories about our Gedolim. One story we will share today is about Rav Baruch Ber Liebowitz, who was one of the great Gedolim of his time in Europe. At the time, there was no money in Europe, so, like many of the great Gedolim, he had to come to America to collect. Rav Gedalia Eiseman, the Mashgiach of Kol Torah, was in the yeshiva when Rav Baruch Ber came back and told the following story: There was a large gathering in America for Shemirat Shabbat. At that time, as we know, Shemirat Shabbat was weak in America. People who were working couldn't take off for Shabbat, or they would lose their jobs. So there was a large gathering to speak about this topic. Rav Baruch Ber didn't go. There were people that thought he didn't go was because he was trying to collect money, that he had some personal agenda, and so he didn't want to come out and protest. But that was not the case. He explained that the reason he didn't go was that he saw how much they were suffering financially. “They left their wives and children behind in Russia. They came to America to escape the oppression of Russian, and rebuild their families here. And then they suffer like that!! I didn't feel it was my place now to lambast them for their lack of Shemirat Shabbat.” He looked at the whole person. He was able to say, Yes, they did something wrong, but look at the full picture.
Another story we can learn from, also told by Rav Eiseman, is about Rav Yerucham Levovitz. He said that Rav Yerucham was once saying goodbye to one of his students in the Yeshiva with a hug and a lot of warmth. This student was not from the greatest. There were even suspicions that he was caught in up with the Haskalah/Enlightenment movement of the Reform and Conservative. People were disturbed by Rav Yerucham’s actions. He explained, “I’m not kissing his lackings. I’m kissing his good qualities.”
How wonderful!
That is the way the greats look at things.
Have a wonderful day.