Welcome to our special Shovavim series on Humility.
We are continuing with lessons from Rabbi Ades on humility:
Rabbi Yehezkiel Abramsky was exiled to Siberia for a year and a half. All he did all day was chop wood in the forest in frigid weather. His hands were cracked and bleeding. One morning after saying Modeh Ani, which is a Thank You to Hashem for getting up, he asked himself, "Why am I saying thank you for getting up? What am I getting up for? I don't pray. I don't learn. I can't serve Hashem."And he came up with the answer that, "I'm saying, thank you for being able to say, Modeh Ani." Unbelievable. When Rav Shach eulogized Rav Abramsky, he said, "I'm jealous of you. Not because the books you wrote (Rav Abramsky wrote 24 volumes of commentary on the Tosefta), and because f your learning. I'm jealous of your years of Siberia."
Rabbi Ades asked, What is going on? You're jealous of his years in Siberia? And he explained, Man's goal ultimate goal in this world is to connect Hashem. And a person cannot connect himself to Hashem until he nullifies himself before Hashem's will. The first step to that is to humble oneself in front of his Creator, and realize I'm a mortal, created by Hashem and I have to accept His yoke.
Reaching this level is extremely difficult but Rav Shach was convinced that the year and a half in Siberia did that for Rav Abramsky. But he stresses, You don't have to go to Siberia. People have challenging situations, when life is not going the way we'd like it to go.
For example, if a person has a mono- type of virus, he's in bed for a month and it seems like it'll be another month until he recuperates. Let's say this is a learning man. He gets frustrated by his inability to learn and serve Hashem. He says, What does Hashem want from me? You know what Hashem wants from you? He wants you to have Mono.
What should I do? Do what people with Mono do. Lie in bed and do nothing.
What about all the Torah and Mitzvot I should be doing?
You decided you should be learning and praying and functioning. That's your opinion. Hashem thinks otherwise.
He says that it's a expression of arrogance to say, I think I know what I should be doing, and how I should serve Hashem and how I can bring him pleasure. Wrong.
Hashem knows what He wants from you and needs from you in the situation that you're in, but your arrogance doesn't let you accept it.
That arrogance actually ends up causing the person to feel down and depressed because their first reaction is to feel worthless, like they have no purpose, and that Hashem doesn't love them. But if you peel away a little of the arrogance and say, "I know I don't understand this, but I know it's all planned by Hashem, and there's a reason for it , and Hashem knows the reason, and probably the reason is for me to be able to say, Hey, I don't get it," that's humility. But our Gaava decides what we think Hashem should give us. And when I don't get it, I decide that Hashem doesn't love me. One of the great Hasidic Rebbes was once asked, "If you were Hashem, what would you do differently? What would you change in the world?"
Personally, I think the first thing I would do is let all the hostages out. That's a good thing to do. After letting all hostages out, I would probably destroy Hamas. I would probably also eliminate the burden of the tuition crisis. And solve the shidduch crisis. I have a long list of things that I would do if I was in that position.
But the great Hasidic Rebbi answered, "You know what I would do? I wouldn't change a thing. Because whatever God is doing, He knows what He is doing."
When we start things to change, it means we think we know how the world should be run. Again, we go back to, So then why do I pray?
Well, I pray for a very good reason. I pray because the prayer in itself is humbling. Because prayer says, I'm asking Hashem, I'm not in control. You please do what You can do for me.
There's a beautiful thought in Midrash Rabba in Shemot 21:5 which says when the Jewish people left Egypt, Hashem sent the Egyptians after them and they were stuck and they cried out to Hashem. Why did Hashem do this?
And it says, because Hashem wants to hear the praises of the sadikim. What does that mean? Rav Yehuda Ben Levi brings a mashal of a king on the road when a princess was screaming out, "Help! Save me from these thieves." The king heard her cries and saved her. And after a while they got married, and sometime into the marriage they weren't on speaking terms. He wanted her to talk to him but she didn't want to. So he sent thieves out against her. And again she cried out. The king went and saved her, and the king said to her, "That's what I wanted. I wanted to hear your voice." The Jewish people in Mitzrayim were being subjugated. They were crying out Hashem. They were looking up to Hashem, as it says, "ויצעקו and they cried out Hashem saw their problem and started to take them out with the strong hand and the outstretched arm."
He wanted to hear their voice again and they didn't want to, so He sent Paroah to chase after them. And they cried out. Hashem said, that's what I wanted. I wanted to hear your voice. Like it says
יונתי בחגוי הסלע השמיעני קול אינו אומר אלא
השמיעני את קולך אותו הקול שכברMy dove was in the cleft of the rock. I want to hear the voice -the voice that I heard in Mitzrayim. And then they cried out and that was it. Hashem told Moshe, What are you praying for? I already heard their cries. What does it mean that I want to hear, not the voice but that voice? There's a difference between how you pray when everything's fine and how you pray when you're in trouble. And that is what was going on in Mitzrayim. At first they were crying out from the bottom of their hearts. But then they started to look at things differently. And that was a problem. So when it says that Hashem wants the prayers of the sadikim, it means He wants that connection from us. And He doesn't want it to be the everything's fine type of lukewarm prayer. He wants the prayer of connection. The Sefer Imre Menachem says the prayer of connection means the humble prayer.
Going back to what we started with, about Why do we pray if everything is good, why are we praying for it to change? The answer is Yes, it's good and it's wonderful because it's doing what it needs to do right now. But if I could accomplish that without needing the difficulty, I'd like to get there.
There is a famous saying, in the name of the Chafetz Chaim: A person is allowed to say about an event that it's bitter, because a medicine that's good for a person is bitter. But you can't say that it's bad because everything Hashem does is good. So it's good. It's bitter and it's good.
But what if I don't want it to be bitter anymore? Do how do I get rid of the bitter? The bitterness is necessary to humble us. In another story, the Chafetz Chaim was talking to a certain person who had a job. The Chafetz Chaim asked how he was doing and the man answered, " A few extra dollars wouldn't hurt." The Chafetz Chaim said, "Of course it would hurt. Hashem is merciful and kind. He wants to do what's best for you. And if He gave you what He gave you, that's good."
In yet another story the Chafetz Chaim once asked someone, " How are things going?" And the person replied, "Things could be better." Thr Chafetz Chaim's answer was, "If it could be better, it would be better."
The Ramchal writes somewhere in his Otzrot "Whatever was done, it can't be better than that."
What do you mean that it can't be better than that? This life is difficult. It can't be better because right now you need that dose. It's like saying life would be better without aspirin. But you need it. This is your aspirin, this is your medicine. This is your healing process. But once I get the message of it, I don't need it anymore. That's the answer to understanding this seeming dichotomy.