The Hovot HaLevavot tells us
, ואיננו מבקש היזק זולתו, ולא יחמוד אדם בממונו,
The Baal Bitachon is not concerned with anyone else’s downfall, he doesn’t covet and he’s not jealous.
וישמח בחלקו
He’s happy with his lot.
This is an important concept.
The Ibn Ezra asks a famous question about the commandment, לא תחמד Do Not Covet, which the rabbis say is all inclusive, being that it’s the 10th and final one.
He asks: How can you tell me not to covet? My neighbor has a nicer house, he has a better car- how can we help it?
We know Jealousy is disastrous.
רקב עצמות קנאה. Jealousy causes bones to rot.
But how can it be a commandment not be jealous?
The Ibn Ezra gives a beautiful mashal to explain.
If something is נמנע, removed from you, if it’s impossible for you, you aren’t jealous. He says a farmer doesn’t want to marry the princess - she is totally out of his league. And a person isn’t jealous of a bird that flies.
We can look at a modern day mashal:
If I’m in the Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla league, I may aspire to a Camry or an Avalon or even a Lexus but if I see someone driving a Maserati or a Ferrari, I’m not jealous of him. It’s just a cool thing to look at, it’s a novelty to me. It’s like going to the car show or the yacht show. There’s no jealousy to own a yacht.
Would I be jealous of Bill Gate’s son owning a submarine? Not at all. It’s so far removed from me. People only tend to be jealous of those in their league.
Therefore, Ibn Ezra says, with strong Emunah, you will understand that the item your friend has, it’s not in your league even when it seems like it is your league, because Hashem decided that it’s for him and not for you. The same way you wouldn’t be jealous of the bird, you could see that those things aren’t for you. This is deep emunah that reaches into your psyche until it becomes
automatic thinking to say, “It’s not in my zone, it’s not for me.”
Another technique for this challenging command is to consider the second part of לא תחמד -Don’t be jealous of his house, his wife.. And then it says…
וכל אשר לרעך.... And everything your friend has. The rabbis say that
“And everything he has” isn’t simply tacking on more things not to covet, it means you have to look at everything he has. You don’t have the whole picture. You don’t know what else the friend has going on. It may look hunky dory but you don’t know what is going on behind the scenes. Maybe he has a miserable family life, with screaming, yelling, so Hashem says he gets to drive a Ferrari, because nothing else makes him happy.
But you, on the other hand, when you come home your wife greets you, your kids hug you and jump on you... so you drive a jalopy. It’s ok. You have what you need. You don’t need the Ferrari.
When we have an Emunah and Bitachon outlook, the jealousy disappears. It’s a lot of work, though. You can’t just get it from listening to a class.
At this point we have to stress something else. After all these 99 classes we haven’t even spoken about how to get Bitachon, or even what Bitachon is! The Hovot HaLevavot is still just whetting our appetites, so that we appreciate that Bitachon is worth having and working on. BeH we will get to what it is and how to get it.
For now, we can add this benefit to the list of things we want to be: jealousy free.