Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. We continue with cognitive distortions. Today’s is a bit of a takeoff on a previous one, which is that if I can't do it perfectly, I might as well not do it at all.
The Chazon Ish, in chapter three of his sefer Emunah and Bitachon, brings the following application: Sometimes when people get older, they say, “I never really learned. I don't really understand Gemara, it's not for me. I passed my prime.”
But he says, that's a mistake.
He says,
כי חובת האדם בעולמו כל עוד הנשמה בקרבו להשתדל להיות הולך וגדל
A man's responsibility in this world, as long as he has a soul inside of him, is to constantly grow.
We're not here just to be here. We are here to grow. A person is called a Holech. He's considered a walker. He's here to grow.
He adds, If you’ll quote to me (a Mishna in Pirkei Avot that says),
הלומד זקן דומה לדיו כתובה על נייר מחוק
Teaching an old person is like writing ink on an erased piece of paper
(which doesn't really stick well), his answer to that is a hiddush:
אבל לגודל יקרת החכמה ורב ערכה גם דיו החכמה על נייר המחוק אין ערך אליה ואין מספר לעוצם שויה:
But because wisdom is so dear and so valuable, even the ink wisdom on an erased piece of paper- there's no value that can compare to it, and there's no number.
If we would truly appreciate every little thing that we do, and the value of every small thing that we do, we would not look at it in the way of, “Perfect is the enemy of good.” Because if I have a hundred diamonds out of a thousand diamonds, every diamond on its own has a value. Therefore, he says, even when we might underrate a certain spiritual accomplishment such as learning when you're old, you can't put any value on that- like that ink on the old piece of paper. This connects to a lesson from the Chafetz Chaim who talks about a person who's praying and realizes when he's about up to Modim that he wasn’t concentrating and ruined 80% of his prayers. Was it a waste?
(According Halacha, even if you had no kavanah at the beginning of your Amida, you could save your Amida at Modim, if you wake up at the thank yous; even if you weren't up at the beginning when praising God)
He gave a mashal, which I think is a true story, of a girl who was selling apples in the market. Her apple cart overturned, and the apples went rolling. People (who were not the best of people) started grabbing the apples. The girl was standing there crying, until a wise man told her, “Okay, they started grabbing your apples, but grab some for yourself!”
The Chafetz Chaim said, “The Yetzer Hara grabbed 16 out of the 19 berachot of the Amida but it still has value. Grab some for yourself.” Therefore, regardless how bad your day was, or how bad your year was, or whatever you did wrong, don't fall into ye’ush/despar. The Chazon Ish, in his final words in this piece writes,
יתאמץ האדם להתרומם על כל אויביו, ולחזק לבו ללימוד הלכה, ואל יסב אל היאוש - המשחית האכזרי
Uplift yourself above your enemies (which is the Yetzer Hara). Do not turn towards the despair- the cruel destroyer.
Despair is a cruel destroyer. The Yetzer Hara wants you to despair. He's the cruel destroyer. Don't fall into the clutches of the cruel destroyer.
That is our cognitive distortion of, if I can't do it a hundred percent, a little bit's worthless. Wrong. If you're walking into shul and they're two minutes until the end of the class or a lady is going to a class, and there's only 15 minutes left, or whatever you're doing, don't undervalue just a minute.
It's just one diamond., and that's also valuable.
Have a wonderful day.