In this week’s Parasha, Kedoshim, there is a beautiful pasuk,
לֹֽא־תִקֹּ֤ם וְלֹֽא־תִטֹּר֙ אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י עַמֶּ֔ךָ וְאָֽהַבְתָּ֥ לְרֵעֲךָ֖ כָּמ֑וֹךָ אֲנִ֖י ה׳
“Do not bear a grudge, do nothing take vengeance on your fellow man, and love your friend like you love yourself, Ani Hashem
Rabbi Akiva says,
וְאָֽהַבְתָּ֥ לְרֵעֲךָ֖ כָּמ֑וֹךָ
love your friend like you love yourself
זה כלל גדול בתורה
This is a great fundamental in the Torah.
There are many klallim/generalities in the Torah, and many mitzvot can be placed under this general umbrella of, “love your friend like you love yourself.”
Rabbi Ebstein of Lakewood, puts out a weekly Bitachon Dvar Torah. He quotes the Chatam Sofer who asks, “How can it be that Rabbi Akiva is telling us that the great klal of Love your friend like you live yourself? Don’t we have a Gemarah in Masechet Makkot that tells us, based on a pasuk, that Habakkuk came and put all Mitzvot under one Mitzvah, based on the pasuk,
צדיק באמנתו יחיה
A sadik lives by his Emunah?”
So what is the fundamental? Is it Emunah or is V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha/loving your friend like you love yourself?
Rabbi Ebstein answers that without Emunah in Hashem, you can’t come to the Mitzvah of
V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha.
We don’t always like what people do, or feel good about how they may have acted towards us, but if a person has Emunah Shelemah, and he believes that no one can do anything to him that was not decreed by Hashem, he will be able to love his friend, even after the friend did something unpleasant toward him.
The pasuk above talks about vengeance, and the Sefer Chinuch explains how it is that someone doesn’t bear a grudge or commit an act of vengeance after being wronged.
He says that if a person knows, and places on his heart, that anything that happens, good or bad, is really from Hashem, and there is nothing that your friends can do to get you that is not Hashem’s will. If your friend pained you or harmed you, you should know that ultimately, it was your sins that caused it. God decreed it. Therefore, you can’t judge the person.
He quotes the famous story of David HaMelech who, when being cursed by Shimi Ben Gera, said, “ leave him, let him curse, because Hashem told him to curse.” David HaMelech knew that the cursing was his own fault, and his own problem. He did not take it out on Shimi Ben Gera.
We can further develop this point by looking at the Midrash that tells us that the Ten Commandments can be found in the beginning of Parashat Kedoshim.
(Kibud Av V’Em, don’t steal, don’t swear falsely, don’t stand by while your brother’s blood is being spilled... almost all of them are there- you can check it out for homework)
The first one is
קְדֹשִׁ֣ים תִּהְי֑וּ כִּ֣י קָד֔וֹשׁ אֲנִ֖י ה' אֱלֹקֵיכֶֽם
Ani Hashem Elokecha I am Hashem your G-d.
And the last of the Ten Commandments is
לא תחמד Lo Tachmod Do not Covet:
Do not be jealous of what your friend has-
this corresponds to V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha/ love your friend like you love yourself.
The famous Ibn Ezra asks how we can be asked not to be jealous of what a friend has? That’s a natural instinct in man. If I see something that somebody has, I want it too. How can we be told to control our emotions? He answers with a famous mashal about the farmer who doesn’t desire to marry a princess because she is totally of his league. She is so far removed from him that he doesn’t even think about her.
Just like I am not jealous of Bill Gates’ submarine because that’s not in my league, nor am I jealous of somebody planning a rocket trip to the moon.
That is too far fetched.
But if I drive an Avalon, I might be jealous of a a Lexus; Or if I drive a Lexus, maybe I want to drive a car even nicer than that.
To be jealous, things have to be in your league. If something is totally removed from you , you’re not jealous.
The Ibn Ezra says that anything your friend has is totally removed from you, because Hashem decreed that you should have what you have, and that he should have what he has.
You are not jealous when you stand online at the drugstore and the fellow in front of you has a large container with purple pills, that he needs for some dreaded disease, while you are just on line waiting to pay for your Advil. You aren’t jealous of him; that’s his medicine and you have your medicine.
In life, everyone has exactly what they need.
If you have that strong emunah, you aren’t jealous of anyone.
So therefore, Lo Tachmod, do not covet, is rooted in emunah. And if Lo Tachmod matches up with V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha, then that too is rooted in Emunah. I can only love my friends like myself if I have Emunah.
Therefore, it really is only one fundamental.
צדיק באמנתו יחיה
A Sadik lives by his emunah- Emunah is the fundamental of this.
And that brings V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha, and that brings the entire Torah.
Sometimes, we lose the forest for the trees. We don’t want to get lost in the details. We have to have an over-arching mission statement:
V’Ahavta L’Re’echa Kamocha,
Lo Tachmod,
Emunah,
These are the mission statements that a Jewish person has to have.
B’ezrat Hashem, we will keep working on this, and we will be able to reach the levels of David HaMelech, that even if somebody does something very upsetting, I know ultimately that it is Hashem’s gezera/decree and I look into myself.
Have a wonderful day.