Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. We continue to talk about how we're supposed to be feeling and thinkingi during this time of crisis in Eretz Yisrael. We are now in our second week of this challenging situation. (At the time of this writing, Israelhas not yet entered Gaza)
We're still walking around with pits in our stomachs, not knowing what's going on. A lot of the initial wave of help has calmed down a bit. We see that they're somewhat under control and ready to go forward. Of course, we're continuing to raise money, but it's not being done in the original crisis mode. Human nature is that we can't stay in crisis mode too long. Crisis mode is when our bodies release adrenaline and we're on full force, fight, flight or freeze, but that cannot be sustained.After a few days of sleepless nights and agitation, we feel a need to get back to some level of normalcy, which is expected.
But then certain feelings of guilt set in. What exactly am I doing now for the cause? How can I enjoy myself when people are suffering? These are all very correct feelings. But what do you do with them? You can't just walk around feeling guilty. That's not very helpful.
So we look to our sages tell us how to deal with this. World War I and World War II were extended periods of crisis. What did the great people do? It was told that during WWII, Rav Aharon Kotlerās wife, Rebitzen Kotler, didn't put sugar in her tea. That means she drank tea, she ate, and she sleptā¦ as we spoke about the importance of self-care, but at the same time, she wanted to be Noseh BāOl. She wanted to carry the yoke. She wanted to feel for them. This is very different than the modern-day type of empathy that, if there's nobody there to feel your empathy and validation, you're not doing anything. Here, it has nothing to do with the other person actually feeling what you're doing. They're not there. Nobody knew that the Rebitzen didn't put sugar in her tea, but it's not for them, itās for you.
In that way, you're still with them. You're standing with them, even though you might not be in crisis mode in your day-to-day life.
Everyone, on their own, has to figure out how to apply this. It might that I usually start my morning off with a Frappuccino, so for now, I'm going to go with an iced coffee. I'm going to letsomething of my pleasures go. And don't think that's a small thing.
You're keeping the idea alive, you're staying aware, and you're more cognizant. You're going to continue your tehilim, your prayers, your Mitzvot whatever you're doing, and you're going to have them on your mind in your daily life and do what you're supposed to be doing.
This is an important concept in Jewish thought. We have to know how to react in the longer term, because the Yetzer Hara has a great toolbox, and he'll do anything to tamper with our service to Hashem. He likes to use this guilt of How I cancontinue my life normally if people are suffering?
I deal with people that have mental health challenges, and there is a man that I would call clinically depressed over his fears about what's going happen to his family and his children, and whatever else his issues are.
But now he feels an added shame, saying, How could I be so broken up over these, so to say, silly things when people have real suffering?
The Yetzer Hara likes to take advantage of our good side and put guilt and shame in, to shut us down.
That's why we need to stress this important approach.
Tonight, our SIMHA organization, along with Wayz, our young adult division, is hosting a virtual event with three great presenters and a moderator, to discuss how to emotionally and mentally wrap yourself around this.
-Dr. David Rosmarin, a friend of mine who's a professor in Harvard University and has recently released a book called Thriving With Anxiety, is going to talk about how to deal with your anxiety in these times.
-Dr. Akiva Perlman, a specialist in all types of behavioral issues,will discuss how not to be impacted by the trauma that's going on now.
- Dr. Shlomo Zimmerman will be talking about different ways tokeep going during these times.
It's going to be moderated by Dr. Ellie Mandelbaum, the clinical coordinator at SIMHA. Itās definitely something worth listening to.
7:30 tonight on Zoom.
The Zoom ID is 5338163461. And the pass code is TC
Have a wonderful day, and Iām looking forward to seeing you on that Zoom call tonight.