Today we go back a pasuk, to perek 131, pasuk ב
אִם־לֹא שִׁוִּיתִי ׀ וְדוֹמַמְתִּי נַפְשִׁי
Everything was equal and my soul was silent
כְּגָמֻל עֲלֵי אִמּוֹ כַּגָּמֻל עָלַי נַפְשִׁ
like a nursing child with its mother;
like a nursing child in my soul
In the pasuk right before before that, David HaMelech says,
שִׁיר הַמַּעֲלוֹת לְדָוִד
ה׳ לֹא־גָבַהּ לִבִּי וְלֹא־רָמוּ עֵינַי וְלֹא־הִלַּכְתִּי בִּגְדֹלוֹת וּבְנִפְלָאוֹת מִמֶּנִּי׃
My heart was not arrogant, my eyes were not uplifted. I did not go in high and wondrous ways.
The Yerushalmi in Sanhedrin explains what this means…
לֹא־גָבַהּ לִבִּי
“My heart was not lifted up,” refers to when Shemuel was trying to anoint the new king, and he was going one by one through the sons of Yishai. One after another, they were disqualified, even the one that Shemuel thought was the correct son. God told Shemuel that he was seeing only the external, that only He could see the internal.
Shemuel then asked if there were any more sons. They said they had another son, David, but they weren’t even sure if he really was a son. Sure enough, David was the one.
You would think that at that moment that David HaMelech would become arrogant, but here David is saying,
לֹא־גָבַהּ לִבִּי
“My heart was not lifted up.”
וְלֹא־רָמוּ עֵינַי
“My eyes were not lifted high,” refers to the time after he had just killed Goliat. One would think that just after he killed a giant with his slingshot, as he took off his armor, he might become arrogant. But no.
וְלֹא־הִלַּכְתִּי בִּגְדֹלוֹת
I did not go in high and wondrous ways.
This refers to when he brought the Aron back. David HaMelech was dancing, and lowered himself in front of the Aron.
וּבְנִפְלָאוֹת מִמֶּנִּיי
“And I did not go in wondrous ways,”
Refers to when he was brought back to his kingdom after being a fugitive.
Through all of these situations, David HaMelech says, “What was I?
כְּגָמֻל עֲלֵי אִמּוֹ
I was like a nursing baby just left his mother’s womb. That’s how my soul was on God.
The Gaon of a Vilna was once asked the definition of Bitachon. He replied that David HaMelech already told us what it meant- it was this pasuk, when David HaMelech described himself like a nursing baby. The commentaries add that “nursing baby,” means that beside the fact that the nursing baby needs its mother for every drop of milk, the nursing baby can’t take a step without its mother. That is how David HaMelech described himself- Like a nursing baby, totally dependent on its mother.
The Hovot HaLevavot quotes this pasuk when describing the advantages of Bitachon, and he tells us that someone who is a Baal Bitachon is happy in all situations, even though it goes against his nature, because he realizes that Hashem will only do what is best for him.
Just like a mother has mercy on her baby when she gives him a bath, diapers him, and dresses him against his will.
Of course, we know that whatever the mother is doing, she’s doing for the child’s best, even if the child doesn’t realize it.
David HaMelech was saying that he understood that. That was how he looked at life. That is what he meant when he compared himself to a nursing baby. The nursing baby has no idea what’s good for him and so too, David HaMelech said he didn’t know what was good for him either. But he knew that God was treating him like the mother bathing a baby without No Tears shampoo. When the shampoo gets in to the baby’s eyes and he cries, we know that it’s coming from a loving mother. That is the way that David HaMelech perceives and understands Hashem’s dealings with him.
I would like to end with a beautiful words of Rabbi Yehezkiel Levenstein,
“Just like the child doesn’t know anything but his mother, not the house, not what the mother eats, not the car, only to rely on Hashem, and not believe in any other force.”
That is what David HaMelech says, “I am on God like a child on his mother, who doesn’t know anything else but his mother.”