Welcome to the SIMHA Emotional Wellness. Minute. Not long ago, while in Eretz Yisrael, I spent a day visiting the Gedolim. I always enjoy asking the same question to many different Gedolim to see the different approaches and answers that they give.
The question that I asked this time around was how to help people that are suffering with mental illness, specifically, anxiety and depression (we aren’t talking about much deeper, more complex issues). Rabbi Falack, the Mashgiach of the Slobodka Yeshiva quoted a pasuk in Shir Hashirim,
מַה־יָּפִית֙ וּמַה־נָּעַ֔מְתְּ אַהֲבָ֖ה בַּתַּֽעֲנוּגִֽים
How beautiful, how sweet is love, and it's delicious.
What does that mean?
He said we need to have a flavor in life, a Taanug/ a delicacy, and that keeps us up. Often, when people are down, they'll eat or engage in other types of pleasures to pick themselves up.
What is the sweetest, most beautiful, delicacy? Ahava/When you love somebody.
He said that the way to help people who are struggling emotionally is to arouse in them a love for others. A mother that loves a child, a man who loves his wife, a rabbi that loves his congregation…. whatever the love we have, that love is delicious. That love pulls a person out of his depression or low emotional state, because there’s nothing more enjoyable.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz used to walk to the Mirrer yeshiva, and on his route, he’d pass by a shoemaker who used to make shoes for small children, their very first pairs, and he had those shoes out on display. When Rav Shmuelevitz looked at those shoes, he would start to cry. Someone once asked him why he was crying, and he replied, “I'm just imagining the love of that mother as she buys that first pair of shoes for her child.” And he added that it’s not only love of people; love of Hashem also does it.
As the Rambam writes in the laws of Yesodeh HaTorah (chapter 2, Halacha 2), “What is the way to love God? When you look into the great and wondrous creations of God, and you see His wisdom, which has no end, immediately you love and praise, and have a tremendous desire to get closer to God.”
He says that looking into creation arouses love. Listening to music, looking at scenery, looking at a sunrise or sunset will arouse a love in somebody. These are all ways to pick a person up, but the first love we mentioned is the easiest love to have: love for another person. That's why when you love someone, you're not just doing for the other person. In a way, you're doing it for yourself. Therefore, working on loving your fellow is a great technique to help you emotionally.
The Rav went on to explain that people have been experiencing more emotional challenges over the past few years, and it's linked to Covid. Being on lockdown for a year or two can cause emotional illness. He explained why, based on this theory
that we need love in our lives.
We need to love, we need to love people. We need to love God. When a person is on lockdown, they can't go to shul, they can't love God, and they can't interact with people. That's going to bring them down. Therefore, working on Ahavat Yisrael is a great technique to pick a person up. Therefore, now more than ever, we should be working on Ahavat Yisrael.
Have a wonderful day.