Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily.
I'd like to go back far in time to understand human nature. That's the beauty of the fact that we have a Torah and our Chazal, our rabbis a blessed memory, that give us insight into human nature and human psyche. Let’s go back to the first day, when man was created. It's Friday afternoon and it's Adam and Chava/Adam and Eve and the snake.
The snake tells Chava, “See that tree over there? That tree is a wonderful tree to eat from.” She looks at it and it really does look good. He says, “Do you know why God doesn't want you to eat from this tree? Because He's afraid that if you eat from this tree, you are going to be His competition-because He ate from this tree and He became a creator. He's afraid of competition. Go ahead and eat it and you'll become a creator.” She was so seduced by this sales pitch that she convinced her husband as well, and they both ate from this tree in order to become creators.
We see a very fundamental point from this. Deep down in the human psyche is the need to be a creator- that was the weak point that they were sold on. ‘Give me something, sell me something that I want, that I need.’
That is man and his wife's ultimate need. It actually comes from greatness, in that man was created in the image of God. Man's soul comes from the highest of places, and therefore, just like God is a Creator and a Boss, man wants to be a creator and a boss. But the sad truth is that he's not the creator and he is not the boss.
That was the mistake, and that mistake is with us to this very day- man wants to be the boss, man wants to be the creator, and man wants to deny God's involvement in the world. That's the snake. That's Amalek, who said, “Asher Karecha/Everything is a coincidence.” The root of the word karecha could be cold or it could be coincidence. And that's Haman who says Asher Karahu? The same words that his great-grandfather Amalek was referred to with.
That force is still in man today, that wants to be in charge and in control. What was the punishment to man and his wife? Of course, God doesn't punish that a vengeance. God's punishments are there to fix. Man is told you're going to work the land by the sweat of your brow. The woman is told that she's going to have difficulty in childbirth. Why were these two things chosen as their antidotes? The answer is that there are two areas of life where man and his wife are closest to becoming creators. When a man plows his field and from a seed in the ground comes the fruit of a tree, he feels like beating his chest, “Look what I’ve done! I’m a creator! Look, I have developed the world.” And woman, when she gives birth to a baby, is creating. She's bringing a new life into the world. In both those situations, man and his wife might fall into that trap of believing I'm in charge and I'm a creator.
So God says, It’s not going to be so easy. You're going to have to cry out for help. And that's why, to this day, ladies have difficulty in childbirth- to remember, you are not giving birth to this baby. You need God. And man is going to have difficulty, whether in the field or in his business, with constant difficulties to remind him, you're not the boss, you're not the creator. So how do I fulfill this need that I have if I'm not the boss and I'm not the creator, but I want to be the boss and I want to be the creator?
Do I crush that feeling? Do I squelch it? How do I channel it? Crush, suppress, silence- those are all options. But what do I do with this feeling? We will, B’Ezrat Hashem continue with that.
But the main takeaway from this, which is a standalone lesson, is to understand that man wants to become a creator. Rav Dessler says that the definition of arrogance, gaava is that I want to take God and throw him off the throne. I want to sit on that throne. Man wants to be in control. Man thinks he should be in control and thinks he has the wisdom and knowledge and ability to be in control. Ask me how to run the world and I'll tell you. We will soon see what to do with that emotion and feeling.
Have a wonderful day.