For the next few days we’ll be discussing various aspects of Purim and how it relates to Bitachon.
We will start with Mishloach Manot and the proper mindset to have when sending them. The right mindset is everything.
There are two basic approaches for why we give Mishloach Manot.
The first is that everyone must have a Seudah/party, but not everyone has the resources to afford a party. Some people may not be on the ’matanot la’evyomin’ (gifts to the poor) list but the Seudah might still be a financial hardship for them. Therefore, with Mishloach Manot, everyone can have the ability to make a Seudah in a dignified manner. For example, if I have a large crowd at my Seudah and can’t afford a nice dessert, and then someone sends a cake for a Mishloach Manot, I can use it for my Seudah and it’s done in a very dignified manner.
The second reason for Mishloach Manot is that at the time of the story of the Megillah, Haman describes the Jewish People as מפוזר ומפורד בין העמים
They are separated and dispersed.
Our rabbis tell us that despite it being Haman that said it, it was true. They were dispersed - not only physically. Spiritually, there was a lack of unity among Bnei Yisrael. That is why when Esther wanted to undo the decree, not only did she plan a physical approach - to come before the king, but she planned a spiritual approach as well, thus: לך כנוס היהודים gather all the Jews together, in order to undo the divisiveness.
Therefore, in the sefer, מנות לוי Rav Shlomo Alkabetz tells us that Mishloach Manot were instituted for that very reason- to foster unity. When we give to someone else we feel for them. And this doesn’t necessarily work in the opposite direction. Getting a present from someone doesn’t necessarily endear them to us. It’s the giving that does it.
Rav Dessler proves it. He points out that parents have stronger feelings toward their children than the children have toward their parents, because of the constant giving and sacrificing for their children. When you give, it arouses love. Therefore, if there is someone you aren’t getting along with, send them a Mishloach Manot. Giving fosters brotherly love and that’s the focus of Mishloach Manot.
The Pele Yoetz tells us that if you have someone you aren’t getting along with, give him Mishloach Manot. Find out what he likes and give it to him. That’s how to increase brotherly love and that’s a purpose of sending them.
Furthermore, the Ramban tells a rule- כל הקדוש יותר, חרוב יותר
Whatever is holier is destroyed more. When he was traveling into Eretz Yisrael, Ramban noticed that as he got closer to Har Habayit the damage increased. That’s the way it works.
The yetzer hara attacks more fervently the things that are more holy.
Therefore, on a holy day like Purim, the yetzer hara is intensified. It can be a challenge. Those that live in Brooklyn know that getting around on Purim day is not easy. The traffic, the double parked cars, the blocking of driveways, the people possibly acting improperly because they’re drunk - there are many things than can cause one to look negatively on the day and on the Jewish People. Don’t fall into the trap. Rather than look at it negatively, we should be saying מי כעמך ישראל. Who is like your nation? Look how beautiful the Jewish people are!
We learn that one of the reasons we were saved in the end was how because of how Bnei Yisrael acted at the party on Shabbat. It says in the Megillah, on the 7th day...
כי טוב לב המלך ביין
...When the king was happy with the wine. This is referring to Hashem, the king, on Shabbat. G-d saw how different the Jews acted at the party on Shabbat, in comparison to the goyim (even though they weren’t supposed to be there!) They were more dignified, saying divrei Torah, etc.
At the end of the day we have to look at our nation and see how special we are. Yes it’s a Purim day of fun, of masquerading, etc. and yes, sometimes people may go overboard. But try to walk out saying -who is like Jewish people? Think of how much money is given out! Take Yad Yosef as just one example - Rabbi Ozeri will beH give out $400,000 of Matanot La’evyonim!! In one day! How many millions more will be distributed?! What other nation does that? The Jews are special.
Walk out of Purim saying, I love my neighbor, I love my fellow man, I love the Jewish people.
That’s the purpose of Mishloach Manot and beH we should all be successful in fulfilling it.