Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. I enjoy when I see that a concept that shows up in the Torah later shows up in psychology, albeit a bit diluted or balanced.
I'll share such an example: There's a concept in therapy called neutrality. Neutrality means that a therapist is supposed to maintain an internally neutral position.
The question is, can a therapist do that? To quote an article written by a therapist, “For the therapist to maintain a completely neutral internal position is impossible, since all therapists have values, wounds, and life experiences. However, striving to maintain an internally neutral position is a helpful goal.”
We strive for neutrality because the more you bring your own agendas and ideas into the therapeutic or helping space, the more it’s going to interfere.
Where do we see this concept in the Torah?
There’s a beautiful thought from Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz on Parashat Titzaveh, which we read not long ago. He discusses the Gemara that tells us when Aharon Hakohen was told that Moshe was going to be the leader and he would no longer be the leader, rather he'd be the spokesman. About Aharon it says,
V’Raacha V’Samach B’Libo
He will see you and be happy in his heart.
What do it mean that he’d be happy in his heart? Rav Shmuelevitz quotes from the commentary Zayit Ra’anan that Aharon’s happiness would be so great that even words can't express it. It would be in his heart. He was so happy for his brother, with no jealousy, or negative feelings. He was just happy for his brother. It says that in the merit of that, Aharon HaKohen merited to have the breastplate on his heart, the heart that wasn't jealous of his brother.
What exactly is the connection between these two? He was happy in his heart, so he’d have the breastplate on his heart.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz adds that one of the purposes of this breastplate was that when someone would ask a question, a miraculous force called the Urim V’Tumim would cause the letters on the breast plate to light up. The Kohen Gadol would then decipher them and be able to answer the person.
Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz says that in order to do this, the Kohen Gadol had to be pure in his heart without any agendas, without any middot, because in order to advise somebody, you have to be able to listen to the person and listen to his question. You cannot listen to the person or to his question if you have your own personal biases.
That is the concept of neutrality, not in therapy, but neutrality when we're trying to advise and help somebody. We have to be pure of heart. It's not so simple. You need an Aharon Hakohen-like persona. That's why when we go for advice, we like to ask great people, or Gedolim-because they have two aspects:
Number one is that they have Da’at Torah. They think the way the Torah thinks, but that's not enough. They also have to have a pure heart, without any agendas or biases.
Now, I wouldn't say this if the Gemara didn't say it, but it says that the great Eli HaKohen misread the breastplate regarding the famous Chana, mother of Shmuel HaNavi. When he saw the letters that he thought it said Shikora/ She's drunk, but it actually said Keshera/She's kosher. So we see that a person could be a great Torah scholar, even a Kohen Gadol, but if there's some lack of purity of heart, which again, is hard to say on Eli HaKohen, he will misinterpret or misread it.
And truly, this applies to us as well. Therefore, when you advise with somebody, you really want to seek out a person who has those two great qualities:
Number one, they have the right way of thinking, but they also have the purity of heart.
We also have to be aware of this when we're advising people. We have to be careful that our lack of purity of heart won't taint anything.
It’s a tall order, but at least we can be aware.
Have a wonderful day.