Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. Rav Yisrael Salanter, in his sefer Or Yisrael (letter number seven), says the following, “When does the disease of despair set in? He's talking about a man that has a tremendous desire for something that's wrong, who doesn't see how he will overcome it.
He thinks he’s going to fall, so he says, There's no worse disease than despair. Giving up and hope are the two polar opposites. Tikva/Hope and Ye’ush/despair. Rav Yisrael Salanter says there's no bigger disease than despair, and the opposite, there's no better healer than hope. Before we get to Rav Yisrael Salanter’s answer, let's understand what exactly despair is.
Firstly, there are two areas of despair, says Rav Sadok HaKohen, in his sefer Divrei Sofrim אות טז There is despair in physical areas and there's despair in spiritual areas. Both have a certain cognitive distortion. That means you're not thinking right. When it comes to physical matters, says Rav Sadok, we know from a Gemara in Berachot 10A that even when a sharp sword is on your neck, do not despair. Don't give up hope. Which means when a person gives up hope on a physical challenge, it means they feel that God is not able to take care of the situation, so to say,- and that's a problem because God can take care of anything. Hope means, I'm hoping it's possible. Rav Wolbe says hope is less than Bitachon. Bitachon means I'm relying on God. I’m sure I'm getting out of jail. I'm sure I'm going to make the money back. I'm sure I'm going to win the case. That's bitachon. Hope is- I didn't despair. There's hope. It's possible. I'm hoping. I'm hopeful God can do it.
Why don’t I feel guaranteed? I think it's a little farfetched. Maybe it's almost a miracle. Maybe I don't deserve it,…Whatever the reason, hopeful, I am. That's in the area of physicality. When it comes to spirituality, it's the same thing. Despair means I can't help myself. I can't stop doing this. I can't fix myself. And again, there's a cognitive distortion-I have no freedom of choice. I'm just throwing in the towel. I just can't do this. And you just give up. So how do we solve that problem?
Rav Yisrael Salanter says something very important, spiritually and emotionally. His hiddush (which many people have heard but don't know the context), is that every sin can be broken into levels, levels upon levels upon levels. There are different times, there are different situations.
For example, for somebody is not careful with eating in restaurants that don't have a Hashgacha, it may be harder for them in the summertime when they don't have that many options. It's easier in the wintertime. The wintertime is one level, and summertime is another level. And when his his friends are going out for someone's birthday party to an unkosher restaurant, that's another challenge.
Some people might give up hope and say, “I can't, there's no way I can stop, so therefore I despair.” To this, Rav Yisrael says, Take the easy things. There are lots of kosher opportunities. There's a great new kosher restaurants that open. Or in the example they give of the man that's smoking a pack of cigarettes, they say, so smoke 19. You accomplished with that little bit. You have a certain freedom of choice, and in that area of choice, you’re still in control. There, you haven't given up your hope and your ability to make a choice. That's important. It's not all or nothing. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water.
Ye’ush comes when we feel that there is no opportunity, but there is always opportunity.
We'll continue this topic, but right now we are giving this advice of Rav Yisrael Salanter on realizing there is something that you could still do, as small as it may be.