We are now starting our Yom Kippur mindsets.
There is a fundamental difference between our approach to Rosh Hashana and our approach to Yom Kippur.
The term Avinu Malkenu/ Our Father, Our King, does not just apply to the Aseret Yeme Teshuva, when there’s a special Avinu Malkenu addition to our tefillot. We say these words Avinu Malkenu, throughout the year, because we have a relationship w G-d, both as our father and as our King.
We live in a world with other nations, however, that don’t have the father-son relationship with G-d that we have.
We can see the difference with a mashal:
Imagine a man running a Fortune 500 business. This is no mom-and-pop operation. It’s a whole corporation. The man’s son works for company and has to follow all the rules and regulations of the business. He has to work his way up the corporate ladder, he must always fill out all the proper paperwork, and do what everyone else does. If the son were to get in trouble at the company or break a company rule, they would judge him just like they would anyone else, but push come to shove, at the end of the day he’d get some behind-the-scenes special treatment, since his father is in charge.
So, as we go through our new year and get judged, we first have to go through the king-slave approach. That’s Rosh Hashana. The whole world is judged on Rosh Hashana. Not just the Jews. But only we are aware of it.
In fact, we say אשרי העם יודע תרועה Fortunate is the nation that knows what to do on Rosh Hashana. We know what the shofar is, we know we are being judged.
I always have that feeling as I see cars driving down Ocean Parkway on my walk to shul early on Rosh Hashana mornings. I think about how those people are completely clueless as to the judgment that is taking place. So we know about Rosh Hashana.
But after we get through Rosh Hashana, we are in a different category. We might not have followed all the rules. Based on the king-slave, or corporate approach, we might not be in the best situation. But now G-d gives us a second chance, using the father-son approach. The whole approach of Yom Kippur is Hashem is our Father.
In the last Mishnah of Masechet Yoma (which means “the day”- referring to Yom Kippur, the greatest day of the year), Rabbi Akiva tells us
אשריכם ישראל לפני מי אתם מיטהרין
Fortunate are you, the Jewish people, in front of whom are you purifying yourself, and Who purifies you? Your Father in Heaven purified you!
When the Navi tells the Jewish people to return in Teshuva, they reply “We are scared.“ The Navi responds, “Who are you coming back to? You’re coming back to your Father. Your Father always lets His son come back.” That’s the approach of Yom Kippur.
Now that Rosh Hashana has passed, I can say the following:
Most people, when asked which day they prefer, Rosh Hashana or Yom Kippur, say they prefer Rosh Hashana. They look forward to it more. We eat meals together, we spend time in shul, we say “Happy Holiday,” it’s an upbeat day. Some even admit that they dread Yom Kippur, with the fasting which can be painful or even excruciating.
So generally, people like Rosh Hashana better. Well, while we shouldn’t dread any holiday, we have to understand that Rosh Hashana is actually a much scarier day than Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashana is called Yom HaDin- Judgement Day. Of course, with the Shofar and our prayers, it says G-d gets off the seat of justice and sits on the seat of mercy. But inherently, it’s Yom HaDin.
Yom Kippur is the opposite. It’s יום של רחמים. It’s a Day of Mercy; a day when G-d is overflowing with mercy, He’s willing to forgive us if we do Teshuva.
Yes- it’s a day of Teshuva, we can’t forget that, but the first mindset to have as we start the Aseret Yeme Teshuva is: We are getting ready for what the sefarim call ים של רחמים An Ocean of Mercy, where G-d is overflowing with mercy for the Jewish people.
The key is to have remorse and feel bad for the things we did in the past, and to want to have a better relationship with Hashem, our Father in Heaven.
Let’s keep that in mind during the Aseret Yeme Teshuva. We are preparing ourselves to renew our relationship with אביכם שבשמים, our loving Father in Heaven.