Hodu La'Hashem Ki Tob !
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Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily, a project of SIMHA, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness.
We've been talking about meaning, purpose and fulfillment, and not giving up hope and having despair. The first act of murder in the Torah was between two brothers, Kayin and Hevel. The Torah describes what happened: Kayin brought an offering to God. It was the very first offering. His brother Hevel copied him. But God accepted Hevel’s korban and did not accept Kayin’s. This got Kayin very upset. And it says his face fell. He was down, he was depressed. God tells Kayin, “What are you upset about? Why'd your face fall? Im Tetiv, Se’et/If you do good, you will lift yourself up.”
What does that mean? God was giving Kayin the secret to success in life- not just spiritual, emotional success, but the key to success in everything: keep your eye on your own store and find fulfillment within yourself and stop comparing yourselves to others.
There was a great man in our community who passed away not long ago, Mr. Morris Mizrachi. One of the things that was said at the funeral was that he was in the retail shoe business, and he was once walking by the storefront of competition, and he turned his face away from the storefront. He wouldn't look in the window of his competitor because that would take him away from his job and distract him from what he had to do.
That's a rule in life- not just in the shoe business, but in every business, and in your emotional wellbeing. When you look at everybody else, you don't see what's going on inside of yourself. That was God's message to Kayin. Although God is the best possible Teacher, His words did not impact Kayin. This was the first class ever given, and it didn't work. Kayin was not impacted. God told him, “Just do good, and you will be lifted up.” On this, the Or HaChaim HaKadosh (Bereshit 4,6) brings down that if you do good,
כל מעשיך שורה עליהם בחינתה טוב ומעצמן הם מתנשאים כי הקדושה אינהצריכה לאחריםThe quality of goodness dwells on your actions and they lift up on their own. Holiness doesn't need other people.
This is important to know. We're always looking for a pat on the back. We're always looking for somebody to recognize us. But that’s external recognition. God's secret to Kayin was, Im Tetiv, Se’et/If you do good, you'll be lifted up on your own.
Based on the story of Kayin and how it spiraled downwards, Rav Yehezkiel Levenstein, in his sefer, Or Yehezkiel (volume Darkei HaAvodah/Way of serving God) says on the topic of Kayin,
“The first step in serving Hashem (and I’ll add the first step in all emotional wellness), is to be satiated, to be fulfilled in your spiritual status, in your general situation.”
When a person is internally satisfied, there's no place for bad Middot. All the bad Middot come, he says, because a person is not happy, and therefore he needs to somehow soothe himself. A person’s desires, his quest for honor, these are all ways to self-soothe, because something’s bothering him. He seeks some type of external rush, whether it's the pleasure of desire or the thrill of honor, because something's missing inside.
This goes back to our important rule of understanding that we all have a mission. We all have our own jobs in life. We can't compare our job to somebody else's job because our job is ours and theirs is theirs.
That's an important thought to start off every day with, understanding and believing that Hashem gave you your life, and today, for a specific purpose that only you can do.