The Hovot HaLevavot previously told us that with Bitachon, we will have “decaffeinated” money. We will have the benefits of money, without all the negative aspects.
The secret, he says, is an attitude שמח בחלקו -being happy with our lot.
How does that bring us this added advantage?
Rav Chaim Volozhin explains that human nature is that any time you get something new, you feel excited. But then as time goes on, you’re not as excited anymore. It wears off.
For example, when you get a new car, you get very excited but it wears off eventually, sometimes even just a few days later.
Says Rav Chaim, if you have Bitachon, though, you have the secret because you don’t look at anything as your own. The reason we get bored with things is that we take them for granted. But if you know they aren’t yours, that there’s nothing you have forever unless Hashem wills it to you, and He can take them back at any time, you don’t take them for granted. If you don’t have a hold on them, you appreciate them more, because they don’t belong to you, they belong to Hashem. Just because you have something, it doesn’t mean it’s yours.
I remember my first car back in America. When I came back, after living in Israel about twenty years ago, we moved to Deal, and my mother was kind enough to gift her car to me. It a was 6-7 year old two-toned Lincoln Continental with that hump in the back that looked like a tire. I was so excited to have it, even though it was 6-7 years old.
The trunk automatically closed, it even had a built-in car-phone! I was thrilled! I felt like the happiest guy in the world- like a millionaire driving around in a seven- year-old car with a car phone in it.
My mother is a great Baal Bitachon and probably always appreciated the car, even after 7 years, as much as I did the day I got it. But most people, after having a car for that long, are happy to get rid of it.
The Baal Bitachon has this ability. Imagine having the ability to look at everything as exciting and new, no matter how long you have it?
This is the secret of Shalom Bayit as well.
You have a wife, bH, for 120 years. The secret of our Torah is knowing that every single day, she’s a new gift from G-d.
Imagine a man who first got married at 41. Wow! What a simcha! How much would he appreciate his wife? It should be the same with you, even if you got married at 21, 20 years ago. Now your 41. Wow! You’re married! Same simchah!
The Torah was given, says Rav Yerucham, to teach us that lesson. Why are there so many mitzvot about so many things?
He actually quotes a Rishon called the Ravad that says this is why we have family purity laws. Hashem is showing you He is in control of you, your marriage, and your spouse. He says, I can take it away, and give it back, take it away and give it back. This makes life full of appreciation.
The Kuzari says he can give us the secret to enjoyment too. It’s the secret of berachot. When we thank Hashem when we eat something, even a tuna sandwich, we should think, “I could’ve not had food for 2 days and Hashem gave me this sandwich.” Even if it’s too dry or the waiter got the wrong order, imagine how much you’d appreciate it if you hadn’t eaten in days.
We only appreciate something if we didn’t have it, and now we do.
Rabbi Miller’s grandson once walked into his grandfather’s kitchen and found the Rabbi with his head in a sink-full of water. He came up gasping for air.
Why? What was he doing?
Rabbi Miller had heard on the news that the NY air was polluted. He felt that for a moment, he wasn’t properly appreciating Hashem’s air, and he wanted to feel what it meant not to have air for a few moments, in order to better appreciate it.
We can do this with everything in life.
Try not driving your 3- year-old car for a week. Leave it in the driveway for a week and walk everywhere. After three days you’ll appreciate it. It’s all in your mind.
The secret of Bitachon is that you can be Sameach B’helko- happy with your lot, because you realize that it can be taken away at any time.
And Baruch Hashem, He gives it back to you without even taking it away.