Seeing the Glass as 100 Percent Full
The Torah in Sefer Devarim (24:9) introduces the prohibition of lashon ha’ra (speaking negatively about other people) by commanding us to remember how G-d punished Miriam for speaking lashon ha’ra about her brother, Moshe:זכור את אשר עשה ה' אלוקיך למרים (“Remember what Hashem did to Miriam”). Targum Yonatan translates this command as, הוו זהירין דלא למחשד חד בחבריה דלא ילקי – “Be careful that one does not suspect his fellow, so he will not be punished.” According to Targum Yonatan, it seems, Miriam’s sin was in wrongly suspecting Moshe of impropriety, and the Torah here thus warns us against viewing others negatively and suspiciously, which is the root cause of lashon ha’ra. Improper speech about other people begins with an improper outlook on other people, with an overly critical and negative attitude.
On Shabbat, it is especially important to look upon the world and upon other people with a favorable disposition. The Midrash (Bereshit Rabbah 9:4) tells of a king who built a magnificent palace, and when it was completed, he looked at it and felt great satisfaction. He said, “O palace! I wish that you will always find favor before me just as you find favor before me now!” Similarly, the Midrash comments, when G-d looked upon the world when it was completed, just as Shabbat was beginning, He expressed a wish, as it were, that it would always be מעלה חן בעיני – meaning, that He would always find His world pleasing and gratifying.
Shabbat is the time to look upon the world favorably, to see how good the world is, to set aside our complaints and criticism and focus our attention on all the blessings and goodness that abounds throughout the world.
In an edition of the weekly “Peninim on the Torah” pamphlet published by the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland, a story is told of Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz that powerfully conveys this message of living with a positive outlook. A distinguished Jerusalem resident who lived in an apartment opposite the Mir Yeshiva once approached Rav Shmuelevitz to voice a complaint. He had seen two students from the yeshiva go into a store near the yeshiva and read a secular newspaper. The man said that such behavior was wholly inappropriate for yeshiva students, and he ranted for several minutes about the gravity of this breach.
Rav Shmuelevitz replied that indeed, this is something which the yeshiva must address and try to ensure is not repeated.
“However,” he added, “let me ask you a question. You have been living in this area for quite some time. Have you ever taken the time to issue a compliment concerning the extraordinary diligence of our students, who can be found learning until very late at night? Do you ever laud the study of mussar, ethical character refinement, that exemplifies our yeshivah? What about the dignity and fear of Heaven displayed by our students? Are you quick to recognize that? No! It is only when you see something negative that you come running, quick to condemn and assail. Perhaps, if you will accustom yourself to seeing the good and positive and accentuating it – your criticism will be viewed as constructive – not disparaging.”
Unfortunately, many people take note only of the negative conduct that they observe, and comment only about what they see that is wrong. Shabbat is the time to reverse this tendency by directing our attention towards all that is good about the world. If during the week we are prone to seeing the proverbial glass as “half empty,” on Shabbat we should be making a special effort to see the glass as “half full” – or, even better, as one person said, “The glass is 100 percent full – half of it is water, the other half is oxygen.” This should be our attitude on Shabbat – looking at everything that is beautiful about the world. Especially on Shabbat, we should recognize that the glass is not empty at all – it is completely full.
The Shabbat table should be the “training ground” for positivity. It is an opportunity to speak about the fine qualities and achievements of people, rather than an opportunity to criticize, complain and condemn. The Shabbat table is a time to share joyful, uplifting stories about people’s piety and kindness, not stories of people’s mistakes and failings. Like Hashem on the first Shabbat, we should look at the world fondly and appreciate its beauty, and this should be the bulk of our conversation at the Shabbat table.
One of the reasons why this is so difficult is because we are profoundly affected by the news, which reports mainly crimes and disasters. If we base our perception solely by what is published in the news, we will come away with a very negative, depressing and cynical view of the world. This is true of the Jewish community, as well. The news reports every time an Orthodox Jew is caught committing a crime, but does not report about all the remarkable acts of chesed performed by our communities, or the countless beautiful organizations and programs that help untold numbers of people and promote an aura of generosity and kindness. Of course, there are many problems in our communities and in the world that should disturb us and should not be ignored, but there is also an abundance of goodness that we must appreciate. We need to counteract the effects of the news media by working to focus our attention on all that is right about the world around us, and Shabbat is the time especially suited for this effort. Let us seize the opportunity presented by Shabbat to forge an upbeat, optimistic outlook on life, and this will help us eliminate lashon ha’ra from our midst and live much happier and more fulfilling lives.