Welcome to Embrace Shabbat.
The Gemara in Masechet Shabbat 119a teaches: Rav Yannai would wear special clothing on Erev Shabbat and say, בואי כלה בואי כלה, come, bride. come, bride. Similarly, Rav Chanina would wrap himself in his clothing on Erev Shabbat and say, בּוֹאוּ וְנֵצֵא לִקְרַאת שַׁבָּת הַמַּלְכָּה, let us go and receive the Shabbat queen.
Why is Shabbat referred to as a kallah and a queen?
Rabbeinu Bachye on Parshat Shemot explains that the phrase אכלוהו היום, eat it today, referring to eating the mann on Shabbat, can be rearranged to spell כלה, indicating that Shabbat is a kallah. How? At a wedding, when the chatan recites הרי את מקודשת לי, holiness is bestowed upon the woman. Similarly, Shabbat is referred to as a kallah because the Jewish people, like a chatan, bestows kedusha upon the day.
The sefer Iyun Yaakov says a beautiful thought demonstrating why Shabbat is referred to as a woman. A woman is lauded for protecting her husband from sin and helping him bring children into the world. Similarly, Shabbat protects a person from sin and allows them to have “children,” as there is a concept of פרו ורבו in learning. It is for this reason that we recite בואי כלה בואי כלה twice at the end of Lecha Dodi and the woman lights two candles when she brings in Shabbat; the duality of the positive and negative forces is represented by these two actions.
The Siddur HaShlah cites the practice of some mekubalim to go out to the fields to accept Shabbat, as it says באו ונצא, let us go out. However, Shabbat does not come from the fields! It comes from the heavens! Wouldn’t it make more sense to accept Shabbat from the rooftops?
באו ונצא does not refer to physically going out to greet Shabbat. Rather, it refers to their practice of ensuring that they are greeting Shabbat. By preparing, getting dressed, and adding from Shabbat to chol, the mekubalim demonstrate their commitment to ensuring that they greet Shabbat, rather than Shabbat greeting them. Like a chatan who goes out to greet his kallah, we ensure that we are ready beforehand and do not wait until the last minute.
The Gemara relates the situation of a Rabbi whose wife was very difficult. If he asked for cereal, she gave him oatmeal. If he asked for oatmeal, she gave him cereal. She would only do the opposite of what he requested. One day, his son acted as his father’s messenger and went to ask his mother for food. Because his father wanted cereal, he asked his mother for oatmeal, so that his father would get the food that he desired. However, when the Rabbi found out, he scolded his son: מדבר שקר תרחק. When people questioned the Rabbi, he explained, “she takes care of my children and she protects me from sin. I owe her for these two things alone.”
כי אשמרה שבת ק-ל ישמרני- If I keep Shabbat, G-d will protect me. Just as when a person treats their wife properly, G-d gives bracha, as it says ולאברהם היטיב בעבורה- G-d did good to Avraham because of her, so too with Shabbat. Because Avraham treated Sarah with respect, G-d rewarded him. So too, Shabbat is the mekor habracha, but a person must respect it. Happy wife- happy life. Happy Shabbat- happy life.
Have a Shabbat Shalom.