Today’s class has been sponsored for the Refuah Shelemah of Chaya Shefiah Shoshana bat Sarah, and for yeshuot for Cholei Am Yisrael.
For the past few days, we have been discussing one theme, which is that some things in our religion may seem contradictory, but actually aren’t.
For example, mourning over the Bet HaMikdash, while celebrating the comfort of that mourning, is not a contradiction.
Feeling sad over one’s sins and being happy about that sadness is not a contradiction.
We also discussed that Rabbenu Yonah said the one can be afraid, Yirat Shamayim, but be happy with that fear.
Now we will discuss a fourth example of how two seemingly contradictory emotions can coincide.
Rav Yerucham Levovitz, in one of his Ma’Amarei HaMashgiach, his essays on Elul, entitled, An Amazing Inspiration on Fear and Bitachon, says, For Hashem, fear of sin and concern over one’s sins, and Bitachon- reliance on Hashem, aren’t opposites. They do not contradict each other at all. Actually, the opposite is true. The more concern a person has over his sins, the more worry that “Ooh, I’m a sinner,” the more Bitachon he has, (or should have). He says that reliance on Hashem is an outcome of concern over one’s sins. He says it’s a praiseworthy trait that one is concerned with his sins, and yet relies on Hashem.
How does this work?
He says that when a person thinks he’s a sinner, he isn’t supposed to say, “Oh no I am a sinner! I am going to get struck by lightning! It’s the end of the world!”
The person is supposed to say, “I’m a sinner but G-d is forgiving. If I return to Him and rely on Him, He will take care of me, even if I’m a sinner.”
He quotes the Ramchal’s sefer Daat Tevunot, chapter 30, which says, concerning bitachon, that a person must realize that nobody controls G-d. Nothing stops G-d from doing what He wants, and He doesn’t care about a person’s deeds. He gives the person based on what He wants- this is the concept of Matnat Chinam- free gifts.
Rav Yerucham proves this from a famous Halacha in the Torah- when the Jews go out to war, anyone that is afraid has to go back home. Of course, we know fear is not good, that it’s not bitachon, and that fear can actually bring bad things upon a person. But what is this man afraid of? Rav Yerucham points out that this person is actually afraid of his sins. What kind of sin? He spoke between his Shel Yad and Shel Rosh, a very minor infraction. Is this really something to be sent home for?
That man is sadik!
It’s like someone crying on Yom Kippur because he missed Netz one day this year.
That is why he’s crying? What a Sadik! Other people haven’t even gone to shul all year!
On the other hand, it says that when they went out to war the general told them the words Shema Yisrael, to show them, as Rashi says, that even if they only have the merit of Shema Yisrael, they’d be successful.
So why is it that for one man, his only merit is his confidence in his Shema Yisrael, his Emunah, whereas the other man is being sent home because he is fearful of his sin? What is going on?
He says the fellow that has fear of sin has made a mistake. Yes, you sinned but now pick yourself up. Don’t sit in the misery of sin.
Rav Yerucham then says something very shocking:
You see from here, This sin, of being afraid of his sins, causes a weakness, in that it doesn’t allow him to rely on G-d (the fear of sin impacts his bitachon). It’s a great sin, it’s worse than all other sins!
It’s worse than the guy who may have eaten a ham sandwich but says, “I have Keriat Shema. Hashem is great. I’m picking myself up and rely on Hashem.” He is greater than the man who gets stuck, bemoaning his sins. These are shocking words, and a tremendous Hiddush.
Fear of sin should bring a person to say, “Yes, I am concerned with my sins, but I’m going to do Teshuva and come back to G-d. I am going to rely on Hashem and be happy.” That is a good thing and it’s not contradictory.
In fact, he goes even further, and says that the sin of Tisha B’Av of, the sin of the spies was that, as it says in Devarim, after the sin of the golden calf, the people said “G-d hates us, and that’s why He’s sending us out to war. We’ll go out and be killed.”
It may seem beautiful that they were afraid of their sins, but Rav Yerucham says no-
They just dwelled on the fear and became soft hearted- That was the sin of Tisha B’Av. Unbelievable!
This explains why, after the three weeks, we need another seven weeks of comfort.
It is no coincidence that right after Tisha B’Av we have a whole Nachamu/ comfort session because we don’t want to repeat that sin again. For every generation in which the Bet HaMikdash was not rebuilt, it is as if it was just destroyed. So yes, we mourned and felt bad, and hopefully we went through Tisha B’Av and felt something.
But now pick yourself up. We have Elul. Pick yourself up, do Teshuva, and return to Hashem. Come to the Yamim Noraim, The Days of Awe, with bitachon and simcha. We cannot just jump into it though. We have seven weeks of Nechama first. We had one week, and B’Ezrat Hashem, next week there will be more beautiful words of Nechama.
Have a wonderful day.