This is the final lesson of our kavod miniseries.
The Hovot HaLevavot tells us,
לא היה ראוי אצלם לכבוד אלא מי שיחדהו הבורא במעלות משבחות
True honor only comes to someone that is gifted with maalot/spiritual accomplishments, and this person deserves honor for his accomplishments in the spiritual realm.
But as we have said, we live in a world that sends the opposite message.
Mesilat Yesharim makes a similar statement,
הכבוד האמתי אנו אלא ידעת התורה באמת
True honor is knowledge of Torah
וזולתה אינו אלא כבוד מדומה וכוזב, הבל ואין בו מועיל.
Any other honor is artificial honor, false and hot air, and gives no benefit.
It’s like sugar and Splenda, an artificial sweetener.
False honor is artificial, like Splenda, and it’s hard to tell the difference between the real thing and the artificial.
This is the world we live in, though, and we have to be cognizant of it.
One of the strongest proofs of this false kavod is something we call a “status symbol”.
A status symbol is a perceived visible, external denotation of one's social position and perceived indicator of economic or social status (Wikipedia)
Let’s take a careful look at this definition:
A status symbol is perceived- that means it’s not real.
It has to be visible,
it’s external,
And it’s a “perceived indicator” so it’s not for sure. We don’t truly know the person’s economic or social standing.
It’s unbelievable. There’s actually a term for this falsehood. It’s a real word. The term “status symbol,” by definition, shows that these things don’t really mean anything.
And Wikipedia has a long article about it, that goes on and on about mansions, luxury vehicles, antiques, artwork, privately owned aircrafts, luxury yachts etc.
There’s a whole world of luxury and prestige brands that are perceived status symbols. And it really works. We get duped by all of this. The only way around it is learning Torah.
There’s a pasuk we say in our tefilla, from tehilim (perek 19)
תּ֘וֹרַ֤ת ה׳ תְּ֭מִימָה מְשִׁ֣יבַת נָ֑פֶשׁ עֵד֥וּת ה׳ נֶ֝אֱמָנָ֗ה מַחְכִּ֥ימַת פֶּֽתִי׃
Torah is perfect and pure. G-d’s testimonies are loyal. They give wisdom to the fool.
The Hebrew word “Peti” (fool) comes from word “Pitooy” which means seduced.
We are constantly being seduced by the outside world. If we don’t keep learning, and correcting our outlooks, we get sucked in, and the outside things become important to us. It’s human nurture. There’s no way around it.
Rav Yerucham Levovitz says a person can put on a new shirt and feel like a different person. It’s silly and doesn’t make sense.
I recall a magazine article from many, many years ago, with a picture on the cover. They took a bunch of “Bowery bums” (the Bowery was a place that drunken men could be found lying around on the sidewalk in drunken stupor at all hours), took them to Saks Fifth Avenue, and dressed them up. They took before and after pictures. They looked like a million dollars. They looked great, but they were still bums. Same as before and after.
We are all influenced by what we see, but even more so, Rav Yerucham says he has even influenced himself by this.
No one is immune.
I have personally experienced this.
Someone once bought me an expensive tie- a Brioni. I didn’t even know what it was at the time. When I wear it, I feel good, I feel important. How silly is that? I didn’t buy it, I can’t afford a $200 tie, and yet when I wear it, and look at the label, I feel important.. if it said “Marshall’s” or some other no-name brand, I wouldn’t feel as important. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s the falsehood of the world we live in.
It’s like the aspirin we take for a headache. We really believe it works.
False kavod is real, and the only way to get rid of it is by learning, and having the right outlook on life. Hopefully that is what we are doing.
As the Hovot HaLevavot says, that’s one of reasons people keep chasing money. It isn’t because they need to eat or drink, but for the status symbol it brings them, so they can be perceived with honor.
Everyone wants honor, but real honor comes from growing in Torah, working on our Middot, taking a class, and all the great things we are doing.
BeH, we will have real honor and we won’t be seduced by the artificial one.