Normally, when we talk or think about sinning, we think about actions; when a person did something wrong, or said something wrong. Rarely do we focus or pay attention to thinking wrong. And thinking wrong is a big deal.
Hashkafa/ outlook is a big deal. There’s a pasuk in Mishleh
(perek יד,pasuk כ״א ) that says,
בָּז לְרֵעֵהוּ חוֹטֵא
Someone who disgraces his friend is a sinner
וּמְחוֹנֵ֖ן עניים }עֲנָוִ֣ים{ אַשְׁרָֽיו
And one who graces the poor (or the humble), is fortunate.
The Hebrew word for poor can also be read as humble, and Rabbenu Yonah says both are true. Someone who graces the poor, who are by and large humbler, is fortunate. Who is the person that is בָּז - לְרֵעֵהוּ חוֹטֵא
someone who disgraces his friends?
Rabbenu Yonah says, both in Mishleh, and in his sefer Shaar Teshuva ( Shaar shelishi), that this applies to somebody who doesn’t disgrace with his mouth. Rather, he disgraces them in his heart because they are not successful in worldly matters, or because they are not honorable, or wealthy, or powerful, And therefore he looks down at these people.
This is who we are talking about. The בז לרעהו , the man who disgraced his friend is a sinner. Why would he be a sinner? He didn’t say anything.
He may have only looked at the person and thought, “he can’t rub two nickels together.” So what?
Well, Rabbenu Yonah brings another pasuk from Mishleh, לֹעֵג לָרָשׁ חֵרֵף עֹשֵֹהוּ שָֹמֵחַ לְאֵיד לֹא יִנָּקֶה
The one who looks down at the poor is cursing his Creator.
What does that mean?
He says that when a person looks down on a person who isn’t successful, (which Shelomo HaMelech says is automatic human nature unless you work on yourself) it comes from arrogance. Why?
Because when you look down on a person that is not as financially as successful as you are, or even when you aren’t financially successful yourself, you are showing that you think
כִּי תְדַמֶּה אֲשֶׁר הַהַצְלָחוֹת בְּיַד בְּנֵי אָדָם
that people make money on their own.
וְהַשֵּג יַשִּיגוּן אוֹתָן בְּחָכְמָתָם
You think they make it because they are wealthy. As the pasuk says, כֹּחִי וְעֹצֶם יָדִי עָשָֹה לִי אֶת הַחַיִל הַזֶּה
My own power and the might of my own hand have won this wealth for me.
The man that is not high on the financial totem pole did not do anything wrong. He is an upstanding citizen. Hashem decided, for some reason, that he shouldn’t be successful. Hashem decided that. You can’t judge the person. Rabbenu Yonah says that this is the next pasuk in Mishleh,
ֽהלוֹא־יִ֭תְעוּ חֹ֣רְשֵׁי רָ֑ע וְחֶ֥סֶד וֶ֝אֱמֶ֗ת חֹ֣רְשֵׁי טֽוֹב
The people that have these wrong thoughts are mistaken. They think that if a fellow isn’t making money, then there’s something wrong with him, or that Hashem doesn’t like him. That’s not necessarily so. We can’t judge. And that is an important point in our outlook. Our outlook decides our sins and the opposite. Everything is Midah Tovah Meruba ( Hashem’s measure of goodness is greater)
We have to look at the other half of the pasuk- - לְרֵעֵהוּ חוֹטֵא
Someone who disgraces his friend is a sinner BUT
וּמְחוֹנֵ֖ן עניים [עֲנָוִ֣ים] אַשְׁרָֽיו
And one who graces the poor (or the humble), is fortunate.
When we go to a wedding, who do we look to shake hands with? Is it a person who’s high on the social ladder? He says that we should look for the person who is humble. And that is usually a person that is low on the totem pole. Good Middot deserve praise. Hashem says, “I follow the rule that I don’t act the way people do.”
The Midrash says if people have a first cousin who doesn’t have a lot of money, they might not necessarily announce to the world that this man is their first cousin. They don’t say, “Oh, look at my first cousin- he has great Middot!” or “Wow! He takes great care of his mother-in-law. He waits on her hands and foot, and he’s my first cousin!”
But if his third cousin has a lot of money, then he’s proud to say that is his cousin.
Hashem does not work like that. He is very wealthy, “Wealth and honor is in front of Me-
הַכֶּסֶף וְלִי הַזָּהָב אָמַר ה
But who does Hashem go after? He goes after the poor. He dwells and hangs around, so to speak, with the low and the humble.
We are supposed to emulate Hashem. We are supposed to look at someone who has good Middot and is humble and say, “Well, he didn’t do anything wrong.“ and the person who is very successful- we shouldn’t assume he did anything right.
Hashem decided that one person should have, and that one person shouldn’t have. It’s not about anything more than that.
There was once a poor rabbi who had holes in his clothing, and tattered shoes. He was asked why he wasn’t embarrassed by this. He replied that he hadn’t stolen the jacket or the shoes. They were his, so why should he be embarrassed.
That is the right hashkafa/ outlook. We should never be embarrassed of our financial status, and we should never be proud or arrogance of our financial status either. Our outlook is supposed to be focused on Middot.
People with good Middot and good deeds- those are people we are supposed to bring close to us. Those are the people we are supposed to grace, to run to and greet.
This is an important point on our Bitachon hashkafa/outlook. It can turn us into fortunate people, or has v’shalom, the opposite.
Have a wonderful day.