We continue on the topic of Bitachon and Hakarat HaTov as it relates to the upcoming holiday of Pesach. The Gemara in Berachot (9th perek) talks about the concept of HaGomel- four different people have to say the beracha that God is the one that gave me greatness, even though I don't deserve this, I don't deserve to get on the plane and go over the ocean. I don’t deserve to go to the desert…. The Gemara says there are four people that have to say thank you. People who go into the ocean, people who go in the desert, someone who was sick and recovered, and someone who was in jail and got out. And it's all learned from Tehilim, perek 107, which says,
הֹד֣וּ לַיהֹוָ֣ה כִּי־ט֑וֹב כִּ֖י לְעוֹלָ֣ם חַסְדּֽוֹ׃
יֹ֭אמְרוּ גְּאוּלֵ֣י יְהֹוָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֥ר גְּ֝אָלָ֗ם מִיַּד־צָֽר׃
Thank Hashem because He is good. His kindness is forever. This will be said by the ones that were redeemed by God….
And it goes through the four people:
תעו במדבר- They’re lost in the desert
יֹ֭שְׁבֵי חֹ֣שֶׁךְ וְצַלְמָ֑וֶת
They're sitting in the darkness.
אֲסִירֵ֖י עֳנִ֣י וּבַרְזֶֽל׃
They're shackled. They're in jail.
כׇּל־אֹ֭כֶל תְּתַעֵ֣ב נַפְשָׁ֑ם וַ֝יַּגִּ֗יעוּ עַד־שַׁ֥עֲרֵי מָֽוֶת
They’re dying, they're sick.
יוֹרְדֵ֣י הַ֭יָּם בׇּאֳנִיּ֑וֹת
The people that are going into the ocean.
Its customary, at least in the Sephardic communities, to say this chapter on Pesach, because on Pesach, we all went through these four different scenarios. We went through the ocean when the sea was split, we were sickly in Mitzrayim; we went through the desert, and we were in jail in Mitzrayim. The rabbis say that one of the reasons why the number four is so prominent in the Haggadah (the four sons, the four questions the four Cups) is because we're alluding to these four areas of thank you, that the HaGomel people have to say.
And again, that's the job of Lechem Oni. Oni means poor. We have to eat the bread of affliction. And it has in it, two messages: Number one is simple food, which goes back to the beginning of this concept:
I'm not entitled to anything. In order to have Hakarat HaTov, you have to say, I'm not entitled to anything. Shehechiyanu Vekiyemanu LaZeman Hazeh/Thank you that I lived another year. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to get off the plane. I don't deserve to get off the boat. I don't deserve to get better. I don’t deserve to get out of jail. It's all God's kindness. HaGomel L’Hayavim. There’s anquestion of whether a minor, a boy under 13, or a girl under 12, recites HaGomel, because they're not Hayav for Mitzvot yet; they're not responsible.
Their parents are responsible. And it would not be respectful to say that their parents are Hayav. It's not respectful to say your parents are guilty, but that's the whole theme of Passover. Hakarat HaTov, Lechem
Oni/The bread of affliction, the
Bread of poverty. Oni is also humble. I'm humbled, and I'm poor . Lo Magiah Li/I'm not entitled. I'm not chasing. These are the messages and lessons of the night of the Seder. They are very, very
Bitachon Emunah related. As we said, Hakarat HaTov is the antidote to entitlement, Entitlement is big problem. People go through a lot of heartache because they feel they're entitled to more than they are.
The Elder of Kelm says that a lot of times, we see that people are sick and then get better, but rather than getting stronger in religion, they might get worse. Or we see people that get out of jail and all these good things happen to them. The answer, he says, goes back to our original point: Because since they have such a tremendous debt of gratitude, they can't handle it, so they just totally check out.
As we said, we see this in relationships. A lot of times, when children don't get along with parents, it’s because deep down, they just can't handle that tremendous debt that they owe, and therefore they just check out. They become irreligious or sever their relationships.
And again, at the root of everything is our ego, our inability to humble ourselves, our inability to subjugate ourselves, our inability to be beholden.
So rather than look at all the people that are not beholden to us and not appreciating us, let’s look into ourselves and see if we are appreciating what Hashem does for us, what our family, what our spouses, what our children do for us.
That's our job at this time of the year.