Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. We've been talking about the different voices inside of you, and asking- Who are you?
In the book on OCD entitled Brain Lock, Dr. Jonathan Schwartz describes a concept developed by the 18th century philosopher Adam Smith, called the Impartial Spectator. He explains that we carry along with us an impartial spectator, someone who's watching us from afar. Using this impartial spectator, we're able to describe our feelings, such as, I'm feeling lazy. If you listen and give into that feeling, does that mean it’s you? If so, then who's talking? What are these two forces?
Imagine that you were able to project your consciousness upward into a corner of the room and watch yourself as if you were somebody else. You could yourself in your mind's eye and identify your mood. What are you feeling and what's your current mental state? This ability is called self-awareness- it means being aware of yourself.
This is something that only humans have. The fact that we're able to think objectively about our thought processes means we know we're thinking, so we're really not our feelings, our thoughts or our moods, because we're aware of them.
This concept, as all concepts of the psyche, are found in Torah, years before anything like this shows up in modern day psychology.
The sefer HaYashar written 800 years ago by Rabbenu Tam says that a person normally can't be the doer and the receiver; the object and the subject. You can't hit and be hit simultaneously. Of course, you can hit someone, and then he hits you back, but you can't hit and be hit. You can't eat and be eaten. You can't see and be seen. The only thing that can do both is the soul. It can know everything and know itself. And the Sefer HaYashar says that this is the highest level of knowledge.
He calls it Da’at HaDa’at/ knowledge of knowledge, what we would call self-awareness. This Da’at HaDa’at is one of the integral parts of the person's self (as we will see, there is more than one part). It’s that awareness or that consciousness that is watching everything and knows what's going on.
Rav Wolbe says that the concept of Da’at is necessary for any acquisition, for in order to acquire something there must be a finalization of da’at. You only have something if you're aware of it. And that's why we need our Da’at for anything that we're going to acquire in our lives, be it our emotions, or our psyche. We need to know about it. There's a true story that Rabbi Kreiswirth tells that illustrates this point.
During World War II, a wealthy man knew he wouldn't survive, so he told Rabbi Kreiswirth the numbers for his Swiss bank accounts. Rabbi Kreiswirth had an amazing memory so he kept the numbers in his mind until he was able to eventually write them down. Thirty years later in America, he saw someone who looked familiar to him. He told the man, “ You look like so-and-so.”
The man answered, “That was my father. He was killed in the war.”
This man was a beggar, but he became a millionaire overnight. In reality, he was always a millionaire, but he didn't have the knowledge of it. When you're aware of, or know yourself, then you actually have yourself.
You really are as much as your Da’at or knowledge is aware.
Picture all the forces inside of you like a jack hammer. A jackhammer is very powerful, but you have the ability to hold onto it and focus it where you want it to go.
When a person is daydreaming, what does that mean? That means he's just sitting there allowing the voices to just go. Your mind doesn't stop. There's a constant narrative. But when you take hold of that jack hammer and you start drilling with it, that's when your Da’at is in control.
That's what we have to become aware of- that there are forces inside of us and we have the ability to control them. That's the Da’at. It’s our self-awareness. That's our impartial spectator, watching everything happen.
But all those feelings, that's not us. Of course, there are some parts of us that are inherent qualities, but most of the thoughts that are going through our heads are just fleeting thoughts. Don't take them so seriously. An urge, a want, a desire and emotion- Let it go. Your Da’at has to decide what it wants to hold on to and what it wants to let go of.