We continue our discussion from yesterday, about the Hatam Sofer, when he told us that the principle of bitachon is waiting power and patience. He actually wrote this in a Derasha/ lesson about the Hagaddah of Pesach. He explains that this is the reason that we have dragged-out seder nights, that we don’t eat until after the whole seder, and that the children have to wait patiently. We may give them nuts or other goodies, but they must wait to eat the meal. He says that all of this is in order to train them in Bitachon, and for waiting for the Yeshua/ salvation. What a beautiful thought! The Seder is a night of Hinuch. Write this down in your notes for the seder- it’s a nice thought to say. One of the Hinuch/education lessons of the seder is that it teaches your children to wait.
He says that the Rasha/ wicked son is not patient. In the Hatam Sofer’s words, “he can not tolerate to carry the load of waiting.”
This is the Rasha’a question
מה העבודה הזאת לכם
What is all this work - why is it so drawn out? Why so much work?
He wants it over faster. He wants the services to be shorter. And the answer to him is- בַּעֲב֣וּר זֶ֗ה עָשָׂ֤ה ה׳ לִ֔י בְּצֵאתִ֖י מִמִּצְרָֽיִם
This is why Hashem took me out of Mitzrayim- we know the simple explanation is that He took me out/ He won’t take you out-
But now the Hatam Sofer explains that the answer is , “Do you know why we drag out the Seder? It’s because that’s why I got out of Mitzrayim. In the merit of Sepita Li Yeshua - because I waited for the salvation. I didn’t rush the end like the Benei Ephraim.
We tell the Rasha that if he had been there, he would not have gotten out, because he would not have had the patience to wait.
What a beautiful Dvar Torah on Hagaddah shel Pesach!
After thinking about this concept, of the importance of waiting, I recalled something I heard many years ago: The Arizal says that Adam HaRishon’s sin was that he ate from the Etz HaDa’at/ Tree of Knowledge.
This is hard to understand. How could he have made such a mistake? Adam HaRishon was G-d’s handiwork. Everything in Adam HaRishon was pure. Everything he did was naturally right. So how could he make such a mistake?
The Arizal says, as do others, that Adam HaRishon naturally felt, (and his natural instinct was correct), that he should eat from this tree, that it would be good for him. His mistake, explains the Arizal, was that he should have waited until Shabbat. He ate it too early. That was his mistake. He didn’t have the patience to wait. So this concept, of not being able to wait, was rooted in the first sin of man on Day 1 of creation. And the tikkun of Adam and Chava (as we know, G-d doesn’t punish, rather He gives us ways to fix ourselves) was to till the soil, and the crops wouldn’t come as easily. Initially, it was supposed to be that trees would produce fruit that was made and done. But not anymore. Now we would have to be patient until it happened.
And Chava was originally supposed to give birth immediately, without a long drawn out pregnancy and labor. But no longer. Again- waiting. Waiting for the baby, waiting for the produce...
That is the lesson that we have until the end of time, until Mashiach comes. And it trains us in Bitachon. The ability to wait is a very important technique in life.
There is a famous story of two beggars, one a Jew, and the other a gentile, that wanted a meal. The Jew advised his gentile friend that the seder would be an ideal place to get a meal. They went to shul, waited in the back and the gentile got invited to someone’s house. He started off with kiddush, which after not eating all day, burned a hole in his stomach. He wanted to eat, but when they took out the “salad” all he got was a small piece of celery- no more than an inch. He was really getting hungry, but the night dragged on and on, with every kid saying Ma Nishtana.... Then it was time to eat, and rather than getting delicious Jewish bread, they gave him matzah- thin crackers that broke his teeth. Then came the horseradish (the maror of choice in the Eastern European country when this story took place). He started gagging, he turned red, and he ran out of the house. He went to sleep with a hole in his stomach from wine, an empty stomach, and a little bit of celery.
A few hours later, his Jewish friend came in, smiling from ear to ear. The Gentile beggar complained, “Where did you send me? What did you do to me?” He explained what had happened up until the point where he left.
“ You left!?” The Jew exclaimed, “You left before the meal! Shulchan Orech was next!”
The rasha leaves before the meal. That’s the nimshal.
We all have to have the patience to be there for the meal.
And if you like a nice secular source for this concept, a few years ago I went to the Torah U’Mesorah convention, where they shared something called The Marshmallow Test. In this study, a psychiatrist took 50 children, aged about 4-5, put them in a room and told each child that they could either have one marshmallow now, or, if they chose to wait 60 seconds, they could get two marshmallows. And we watched the kids on video during those 60 seconds. Some children just popped the marshmallow right in their mouths, some kids licked it or touched it, other kids sat on their hands to try not to eat it, some kids walked around the room….
The children were revisited 15 years later. The study found that the children who had the self-control to wait for two marshmallows when they were young children, were found to have scored higher on their SATs, and got accepted into colleges more frequently. The children that couldn’t wait, and stuffed the first marshmallow in their mouths, were in drug rehab or showed other types of problems.
The basic principle is that if you can wait and defer gratification, you are in a better position for life.
But it is not just for life. It is for a Bitachon.
This is a lesson in a fundamental of our faith. You need to be patient. You need to wait. The Yeshua/salvation will come.
Have a wonderful day.