The month of Adar is a month of giving. We give Matanot L’Evyonim/ Gifts to the poor, and Mishloach Manot... we give a lot of things, and we have two groups of people, givers and receivers: The people that give the Sedaka, and the people that receive it. Amongst this group, we probably have a mixture of both.
As such, I would like to share a very important Hovot HaLevavot on the proper outlook of giving and taking.
First he addresses people that are able to give. He says that people are given extra money, and they give. They give, in his words,
כמו שגזר להם הבורא
Because G-d decreed that that the money come through them.
Which means, if a person decided to give $1,000 to Matanot L’Evyonim, although he has freedom of choice (as we discussed previously, the Hovot HaLevavot says that a person is supposed to act like he has freedom of choice, even though he really doesn’t) the only reason he’s giving it is because ultimately, G-d decreed that this person should get money through him.
והוא זוכר טובתו להם בהם
Now this person that gave the money, reminds the recipient of the good favor he did for him?
כאילו הוא הטריפם בהם
As if to say he was the one that gave them their necessities?
And now he wants to be thanked and praised a lot, and he wants this person to subjugate himself toward him ? He feels arrogant and as if he’s in charge?
He thinks that if he didn’t give them money, then they wouldn’t have gotten it, and he would still have this money. He thinks that without him, they wouldn’t have support.
All of this is the wrong attitude. This is a difficult test.
There are people that give out tens of thousands of dollars to Matanot L’Evyonim. But they have to realize that if they didn’t give out the money, they’d lose it in the market. And if they didn’t give it to that person, then someone else would have given it to that person. They are only pawns in the picture. Of course, they will get rewarded for their good decision, but they didn’t do anything. Therefore, they should not become arrogant. It is not about thank yous. They are just the messengers. They are doing what G-d wants them to do. They are part of the machinery. It’s very important that a person should never feel that he is doing it himself. He says that if a person has that attitude,
ייגע לריק בעולם הזה ויפסיד שכרו לעולם הבא
He will work for naught in this world, and lose his reward in the next world. This is a heavy statement.
Hovot HaLevavot is saying something big. A person who thinks that he is in charge will not get rewarded for what he is doing.
He continues on and makes another powerful statement.
He says,
אני תמה ממי שנותן לחבירו מה שגזר לו אצלו הבורא
I am amazed that someone gives his friend something that G-d decreed must be given, and then he goes and reminds the recipient
He then says, to the recipient,
ויותר אני תמה ממי שקבל טרפו על ידי אחר
I am even more amazed, at someone who received his sustenance from someone else
מוכרח לתתו לו
Who had no choice but to give it,
וייכנע לו ויפייסהו וישבחהו
And now he humbles himself
He walks out like a second-class citizen, with his tail between his legs. Of course, you should say thank you, and have Hakarat HaTov, because G-d chose that person to be the messenger. But you should never feel like a second-class citizen because you are the recipient of a gift.
The Hovot HaLevavot is more amazed at the recipient’s feeling of being a second class citizen, than the “first class” feeling of the giver.
Don’t feel that way. Hashem decided that you should get it through him.
One of the commentaries explains what it means that, “I should not need to have the מתנות בשר ודם/ gifts of people.”
Does that mean the people that get Matanot L’Evyonim are getting the “gifts of people?”
מתנות בשר ודם
Gifts of people, is written in plural. It means getting gifts from a lot of different people.
But you aren’t getting from a lot of different people. You are getting one מתנה/gift from G-d. They are only messengers.
One should not have the wrong outlook and think that he is getting gifts from people. He isn’t.
The Hovot HaLevavot is teaching us the right attitude of the giver, and the right attitude of the receiver.
B’ezrat Hashem, we should have the right attitude on life, which is what we are constantly working on- to get our hashkafa/ outlook clear, and look at things correctly.
We thank the Hovot HaLevavot for the correct lenses on giving, and receiving.
Have a wonderful day.