Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily, a project of SIMHA, the Sephardic initiative for Mental Health Awareness.
Yesterday, our esteemed chief clinical officer, Dr. Katzenstein, shared two wonderful ideas from the secular world on how to avoid stress and bring about a state of peace of mind.
Number one was that a person should have gratitude and focus on the things that are going right in life, rather than on the things that are going wrong in life.
I'd like to comment on that. Anytime I hear these ideas from the secular world, I'm heartened to know that we predated this by thousands of years.
The father of positive psychology, Martin E.P. Seligman, a Jewish fellow (as most of the great thinkers are) came up with this concept of positive psychology, and one of the main things he discusses is having a gratitude journal, to write down the good things that happen to you.
That's built into our system. That's the 100 berachot we make every single day. That's the Modeh Ani, the first words that come out of our mouths in the morning. We say Thank You, that we can say thank you. And that's the essence of the Jew. The root of the word Yehuda is Hoda’a/Thank you. That's what a Jew is. A Jew's essence is saying Thank You. The more we focus and work on that, the better off we are religiously and emotionally.
That's the key point of this class- that the Torah is not just here to give us a great Olam Haba. It's here to give us a great Olam Hazeh- physically, financially, emotionally, and in every possible way. God gave the world an instruction booklet. We don't have to wait for studies and surveys to show us that gratitude is better for us. We know it because the Torah is the truth and taught it to us.
That is technique number one- gratitude.
Technique Number Two is that a lot of times we get stressed over all the different worries of life. What we're supposed to do is focus on what we can control, not what can’t control. Stop worrying about things that are out of your control. The weather at your child's outdoor wedding is out of your control. Why worry about it? Focus on what you can change. And actually, these are words of the Pele Yoetz when he discusses worry:
“If you're stressing about something that's going to happen in the future, if there's something to do, then do what there is to do. If there is nothing to do,
what are you worrying about? Rely on the name of God and lean on your Creator.”
This is an added factor that the secular world doesn't have. They might be able to tell us, take care of what's in your control, and let go of what's not in your control. But actually, the Pele Yoetz continues and says nothing's in our control. “This is one rule,” he says, “But the biggest rule is to realize everything that God does is for the good,” physical and spiritual, and even the things that look bad for us are really good.
This is how the Torah takes care of our emotional health- with these two techniques (for today):
Number one is focusing on the good- having gratitude. The Hovot Halevavot builds his entire Shaar Bechina on this- it’s all about finding God in creation and recognizing the good- and he starts that unit off, “God is good to everybody, but most people are blind to it.”
They don't see it, they don't focus on it, they don't realize it.
And that's our job for emotional wellbeing:
1-gratitude, and
2-realizing that ultimately, we're not in control.
If we have these two pointers strong, with a little religious flavor, we will be, B’Ezrat Hashem, emotionally healthy.
Have a wonderful day.