We've been talking this week about the power of Yosef Hasadik, the role model of the topic of bitachon. We said that bitachon shows up when you put your money where your mouth is, so to say- like when someone is taking something away from you and you realize that the person isn’t doing anything. As with all good role models, the main area where it shows up is in one's children.
We see that in this week’s Parasha, when Yaakov Avinu says, “Jewish people will bless their children saying ‘God should place you K’Ephraim and Menashe.’
What is so special about Ephraim and Menashe that we bless our children with them, more than the other shevatim, and more than the Avot even? The answer is that we see a special quality in Ephraim and Menashe. Yaakov Avinu put the young one ahead of the older one, and yet the older one was not jealous at all, and the younger one was not arrogant over the older one.
That is what our blessing is, that they should be like Ephraim and Menashe, in unity, without any arrogance or jealousy.
Where do you get that from? Obviously, the answer is from Emunah. If you believe that you get what you're supposed to getc, and like we said from the Ibn Ezra on Lo Tachmod, if you're happy with Hashem's decrees, and for some reason He didn't give it to you and gave it to somebody else and you know that is exactly what's good for you, that causes you to be happy with your friend's lot and not to be jealous. That's a heavy dose.
This is really a beautiful piece of Mesilat Yesharim (Perek יא )where he talks about jealousy. He says jealousy is really something silly. First of all, he explains, the one that's jealous doesn't get any benefit. You don't get the guy's car by being jealous of the car.
Furthermore, the guy that has the car doesn't lose the car because you're jealous. The only one that loses is the jealous person that's eating himself up. He says that there are certain people whose foolishness is so great that if he see his friend has something, it eats him up and he starts to worry and be pained. And now even the things that he possesses don't give him any good feeling. He doesn't enjoy his car anymore because he sees his friend's car. And that's the pasuk in Mishleh, “Jealousy causes the bones to rot,” which means what you have starts to become corroded.
He says there are others that don't feel that bad, but they still feel a little pinch. They get a little cooled off when they see what their friend has. Someone told me once he was driving a new yacht that was, let’s say, about 30 feet long. He was all happy on his maiden voyage, and then he saw a guy across from him with a yacht that was 50 feet, and suddenly he felt that pinch. Poor guy, he finally got his 30 foot yacht. He should be happy. (I'm just giving a number. I don't know how long yachts are, but you get the point).
This might even be someone that you like. It could be your brother, or your cousin, and surely it could someone that you don't like that much. And this happens to most people. He says, “They're not really what we'll call the Baalei Kin’a. They're not inherently jealous people. But they're not totally cleansed because if you're totally cleansed, you don't even feel that pinch.
How do you get there? And this is the line.
“If they knew and they truly understood (again, this is Emunah) that you can’t touch what is supposed to be your friend’s, even by a hair's breath. And everything, with everything is from Hashem, with His wondrous advice and His wisdom that we can never fathom.”
That means Hashem is planning everything- exactly what's right for us. “There's no reason at all to feel that pinch, because that pinch is just a lack of understanding.
The Pele Yoetz writes on topic of kin’a, about how bad the middah of Kin’a is and he says of this person, “All his days are painful. He eats the bread of nervousness and sadness and he's just an unhappy person.” And how do you overcome it? The rabbis are all in agreement. “You have to believe that no one could touch yours and you can’t touch theirs. There's no one else in the world but you. You're not going to make more money than God decreed. And even if there are another thousand merchants that sell the same goods as you do, you're not going to lose a drop.”
That is the Emunah approach. And again, this is Ephraim and Menashe, products of their father, the role model, who told his brothers, when he revealed himself to them and they apologized, “You have nothing to apologize for. Hashem sent me. It has nothing to do with you.”
That act of Yosef’s entered his children. They came to the level of no jealousy, and that's why we bless our children to be like Ephraim and Menashe.
Have that in mind tonight at your Friday night blessings. Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat Shalom.