Parashat Vayerah starts off telling us about Avraham Avinu’s hessed on the third day of his brit milah. The Torah goes on at length describing how Avraham runs here and there to prepare for his guests, in the heat. He goes beyond the call of duty. This is the ultimate act of hessed. Of course, Avraham Avinu did hessed his whole life. It says,
ויטע אשל - He planted a tree.
Our rabbis tell us the word Eshel/tree stands for
אכילה Eating , שתיה Drinking and לינה -sleeping over. In other words, Avraham Avinu ran a full service hostel for wayfarers. A lifetime of hessed.
So it seems strange (and all the commentaries ask about this), that we make the biggest deal about Avraham Avinu’s hessed, in the very case where he didn’t actually do any hessed. Avraham Avinu was giving food to angels, who don’t need to eat. So why, the commentaries ask, does the Torah use this as THE example of hessed, when the hessed never actually happened? This is a powerful question.
Rav Tzaddok HaCohen gives a tremendous answer. He says it’s because Hashem wants to show us a lesson in our Emunah: The main thing is what we do, not what ends up happening. He quotes the pasuk that says the Torah is
בפיך,בלבבך, לעשותו
The Torah is in your mouth, in your heart, and to do.
This is not grammatically consistent.
What it should say is:
בפיך, בלבבך, ובמעשיך
The Torah is in your mouth, in your heart, and in your deeds.
Why doesn’t it say we talk about it, think and do it? Because you can’t always get it done. The final product, G-d takes care of. Your job is to talk about it, to want to do it and to try to do it. Whether you succeed or not doesn’t make a difference. It’s not about your accomplishments.
Furthermore, it’s about what you’re doing for yourself. When you have a guest, you’re doing for yourself. You’re becoming a giver.
We should all try to emulate G-d.
Rav Moshe Chaim Luzatto, the Ramchal, says something very deep:
G-d doesn’t give because people need; there were no people to need (initially).
G-d created people just so He could give to them. In the words of the Ramchal
ברא נבראים כדי שיוכל להטיב להם
G-d created creations, so that He could do good to them.
Because the ultimate is to give; not because they need but because I want to give. That’s why we use the term Ahavat Hessed-Loving to do kindness.
It’s the only mitzvah that we wait to do, and feel bad about not doing. Avraham Avinu was waiting outside the tent looking for guests. We don’t wait outside looking for opportunities that don’t exist, for other mitzvot. Hessed is about us, and us becoming Baaleh Hessed.
It’s an important consolation. Sometimes we try very hard to do things: to make a shidduch or save a relationship. We put so much time in and nothing happens. We feel like failures. Like we did nothing. Wrong. Our emunah says we did-We did to ourselves. The accomplishing is not up to us.
Rav Yisrael Salantar says one of the most important principles to understand is that our job is to do, not to accomplish.
Of course we’d like it to work out and to happen, but it’s not our job. G-d doesn’t need us to do these things. That’s an important rule. He doesn’t need us to make the shidduch or save the person’s relationship. We are given these opportunities by G-d because they’re good for us. If Hashem works it out that your efforts came to fruition, it’s an added bonus, says the Hovot HaLevavot. It’s the cherry on top. Rabbi Tzaddok tells us that whether it happens or not, we’ve accomplished. So the ultimate example of hessed, is the hessed that didn’t make a difference, because the angels didn’t need it.
Avraham Avinu is being G-dly in doing hessed that wasn’t needed.
This explains a very cryptic Midrash that says
מי שעשה חסד, אם מי שלא היו צריכים
Avraham does a hessed for those that don’t need.
Avraham Avinu’s greatness is that he did kindness for someone that didn’t need. The midrash ends off with a kal v’homer:
If G-d rewards for doing a kindness that isn’t needed, imagine the reward for doing a kindness to one that does need.
We are rewarded either way, because that makes us into who we are.
Have a wonderful day and a Shabbat shalom