Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily. We continue on our new program of sharing Torah views, shining the Torah lens on the psychological approach,by piggybacking off of Dr. Katzenstein. Yesterday, Dr. Katzenstein spoke about values, and how it's important for a person to have a value system as the key to his happiness and meaning and purpose in life. What are your values? Rav Wolbe used to speak about this concept at length, and he based it on a discussion in the Torah.
The Torah talks about a person that makes a certain vow, called an Erech vow, which means people have a set value depending on their age, such as from age zero to 30 days, until 20, from 20 to 60, 60 and above, male and female etc…. And throughout that Parasha, the word Erkecha/ your values is used. It doesn't say “Erech/the value of. Why not? Rashi actually is bothered by it. He says it should say Erech, not Erkecha. The Maharal, in Gur Arye, explains that a value is subjective to people. Some people value things more, some people value things less. And therefore, it's up to us to decide the value of something.
We give things value. We give character traits value. We give Mitzvot value. Of course, they have an inherent value, but it's up to us. Rav Wolbe used to say that this world is called the world of values. It's our job to give things their proper value.
It was the interesting exercise that Dr. Katzenstein gave us- to ask ourselves, What do we value in life? What's important to us? What are we going to be remembered for? Rav Wolbe used to quote from the siddur on our prayers in Shaharit-
We say, “אֵין עֲרוֹךְ לָךְ ה׳ אֱלֹקינוּ בָּעוֹלָם הַזֶּה
There's no value, other than You in this world.”
That means You, Hashem, are the most valuable thing in the world. That's why the most valuable thing in the world, to me is my religion. Goodness is also a value but what is goodness? We could break down what goodness means, by what we value and what we praise, because that’s really what we value, and indicates who we are.
Rabbenu Yona, in Shaare Teshuva (third gate, letter 148)says, based on a Pasuk in Mishleh 27,21.
מַצְרֵ֣ף לַ֭כֶּסֶף וְכ֣וּר לַזָּהָ֑ב וְ֝אִ֗ישׁ לְפִ֣י מַהֲלָלֽוֹ
To figure out the value of silver, I use a matzref ( a type of smelting tool). Similarly, a kor (another smelting tool) is used to assess the value of gold,
And if you want to figure out the value of a man,
Look at what he praises
What's important to him? Rabbenu Yona explains that we rate a man by what he praises. If he praises good things, wise people, righteous people, you know that this man has in himself, goodness. It’s not possible, if he’s constantly praising and valuing good, that he doesn't have inherent goodness inside of him. He might have some sins. But he's a lover of good. And he makes what he calls the right choices. He has the right value system and he is from the group that he calls Those that honor God.
But the opposite, someone who's constantly praising negative acts, and his value system is who has more money or who is more successful, has a whole different value system. He says he is the ultimate wicked man, desecrating the service of God, because he's giving those things value. Our value system has to be a value system of religion. Torah, Mitzvot, Middot Tovot, and Hessed… He says, these have to be the things that are important to us.
And it's interesting There’s a Midrash Tanchuma in Bechukotai, when it talks about the Arachim, that when God gave the Torah, the angel says, Why are you giving the Torah to man? And God answered, “For who in the heavens can make a value system?” which means that angels can't make a value system. Everything is clear to the angels. People down here have the ability to choose values.
And that's why we have the Torah. That why we are this world-to choose values, to give the right things the value and the wrong things, a lack of value. Therefore, this is a very important exercise in your life. Like Dr. Katzenstein said, to figure out your values.
Have a wonderful day.