Welcome to Emotional Wellness Daily, a project of SIMHA, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness. Yesterday, we heard from our esteemed chief clinical officer, Dr. David Katzenstein, about how to avoid the rat race. He gave us two pieces of advice. Number one is that you need to have your own definition of success. Success is not measured by external factors, by comparing yourself to the Joneses. Number two is that life is not about the destination, it's about the journey.
I would like to invoke a concept from theMishnah in Pirkeh Avot. Our rabbis tell us, based on the Navi in Yirmiyah, that there are three areas that people pride themselves in . We'll call them the three areas of the rat race: wisdom, strength, and wealth. I want to get into the best college. I want to look the best and appear the best, and I want to make the most money. And that's where the rat race is.
And you know, you're limited. You might not be as smart as the other fellow or as strong as the other fellow, or as wealthy as the other fellow. But comes along, Ben Zomah, whotells us the secret- Who is a wise man, the one that learns from everybody. Who is the strong one?The one who's controlling his Yetzer Hara
And lastly, Ezeh Hu Asher/Who is the wealthy man, HaSameach B’Helko/the one who is happy with his lot. The commentaries explain that Ben Zomah is teaching us a very important lesson- that is that wisdom is not something outside of you, strength is not something outside of you, and wealth is not something outside of you. They're all inner qualities. They're all internal. Wisdom is not about how much you know; it's how much you're desiring.
Strength is not a how much you can lift. It's about your self-control. And wealth is not about your bank account, it's about your attitude. All three of these qualities are internal, and therefore, they're in your control. If I measure wisdom by how smart I am, well, someone else might be smarter. If I measure wealth by how much money I have, someone else will have more. And if I measure how much weight I can lift, someone else will lift more.
But if we talk about an internal quality, then it is a success that you determine, that you are in control of. And it's also about the journey. It's the journey to wisdom. It's the journey of self-control. It's the journey of Sameach B’Helko. There's no end of “I made it.” I'm happy with my lot on a constant basis. I am exercising self-control on a constant basis. I am searching for wisdom on a constant basis.
It's a way to live life. It's not an asset, it's not an external factor. It's how you live your life and how you set up your value system in these three areas that can be extremely competitive. Wisdom is competitive, but that’s if it's about a score on a test, an entrance exam to college or a Regent or SAT.
Strength is a competition, if it's about how much I can lift. But if it's about self-control, everyone has their own struggles, their own battles, and their own self-control. And again, if we measure wealth by bank accounts, it's something outside of me, out of my control and someone can always pass me. But if it's about my appreciation for what I have, that's a constant journey. It's not about that one-time destination of how much money I made.
So that is the depth of Ben Zomah’s lens and focus on the three areas of the rat race-wisdom, strength, and wealth.
Have a wonderful day.