Last week we left off where the Hovot Halevavot told us that just like we ourselves are personalized, so too our parnassa and how G-d deals with us is personalized.
We came into this world via two parents who were specifically chosen, in order to create each of us as individuals. There will never be another you and there never was another you. Just as your fingerprint is special, so is everything about you.
In Rav Wolbe’s sefer Alei Shur (vol 1), there is a letter the Rav wrote to a yeshiva boy who was down and depressed. He felt he wasn’t up to par with the other boys, and that he was not producing like he used to.
The Rav answers that many times, when people feel down, the root of the problem is that they’re looking at the rest of the world, and at what everyone else has. They think that other people have qualities and talents that they’re missing. They are looking at the world through other people’s glasses.
He says the first step needed in order to succeed and grow spiritually, and in life in general, is to realize that G-d gave you specific tools for your special mission. Everyone has a mission and with that mission come the abilities and disabilities given to us specifically, in order to complete our missions.
He says that the time to think of this is in the morning, when we make the beracha: שעשה לי כל צרכי -G-d gave me everything that I need.
That rule applies to both the physical and spiritual. Everything we need to fulfill our missions in life was given to us.
That’s why we say: -ותן חלקינו בתורתך -Give me my portion in the Torah. Everyone is given a specific portion. Every person sees things differently.
He says sometimes the fellow that’s a little slower at getting things, and needs to review a lot, will end up having a deeper grasp and a better understanding. He might be jealous of the quicker learner, but what he doesn’t realize is that being a slower learner has its advantages.
G-d wants everyone to look at things differently. He doesn’t want just one point of view. Everyone has his own approach and his own outlook.
Therefore, don’t measure yourself according to other people’s standards. You have exactly what you need. You aren’t too skinny, too fat, too tall, or too short, and this applies to emotions as well. Whatever you have was given specifically to you, exactly the way you need it.
Rav Wolbe goes on to say that you don’t need to go to the outside for approval.
When Kayin killed Hevel, Hashem told him
אם תיטיב שאת -“If you do good, you’ll be lifted up.”
The Or HaChaim HaKaddosh says a very strong line:
הקדושה אינה צריכה לאחרים
When you do what’s right, you don’t need the approval of outsiders.
אם תיטיב שאת
You do well and you’ll be lifted up-from within. You’ll have a good feeling about yourself. Do what’s right and use your talents.
Yes, Hevel and Kayin each had different approaches. But even if Kayin was rejected initially, Hashem was telling him: You can still use your approach to succeed. Don’t look at your brother.
אם תיטיב שאת
If you do well, you’ll lift yourself up.
The reason people aren’t successful, he says, is based on a pasuk in Mishleh:
ורקב עצמות קנאה
Jealousy causes bones to rot
Your bones are your whole essence- they’re what hold you up.
A person who is jealous not only lacks what the other person has, but he starts losing his own qualities as well, because he’s too busy looking at what everyone else has. Eventually, his strengths and powers disappear.
Respect and protect your individuality.
Rav Wolbe ends off with a story:
One of Rav Yisrael of Salant’s most prized students once said, “If I had the brain of the Shaagat Aryeh (who was known to have a quick mind), the heart of the Yesod V’Shoresh Avodah ( a rabbi with tremendous emotions and heart), and middot like you, Rav Yisrael Salanter, then I could serve Hashem.”
Rav Yisrael answered the boy,
נפתלי
במוח שלך, ובלב שלך,
ומדות שלך, תוכל להיות עבד ה׳ אמיתי
Naftali, with your brain, with your heart, and with your character traits, you can be a true servant of Hashem.
Understanding this will give a person excitement in life: Knowing that with his own brain, his own heart and his own talents, he can accomplish his own mission.
So appreciate and respect your talents, and don’t look over your shoulder at what everyone else has.
That’s the lesson of the Hovot Halevavot: You were personalized and individualized for your own mission.
Have a great day.