Good morning, gentlemen. We're on the 18th segment of the Think Before You Speak series, The Laws of Shemirat HaLashon (guarding of the tongue), with clarity. Today's halacha (Jewish law) is titled “Favors.” This class is Leilui Nishmat (for the elevation of the soul) of the great Chafetz Chaim, as well as Leilui Nishmat of Luzah Aliza, Bat Hanriyet, our children who passed away in the fire at this time of year. Ruach Hashem T'Nichenam B'Gan Eden (May Hashem comfort them in the Garden of Eden), Amen (so be it).
Again, this class is also dedicated to the Shemira (protection) and Yeshuot (deliverances) of our Bnei Chabura (members of our study group), Yeshuot of Klal Yisrael, and specifically for the Shemira Ma'alya (excellent protection) and Yeshuot Gedolot (great salvations) for Chaim David Dov and Chai Yisrael.
Now, gentlemen, there's nothing more frustrating than when you come to someone and ask him to do you a favor, and you know the guy can do it, and he turns you down. It's so frustrating because you know he can do it. At the same time, you also know that if he asked you for the same favor, and you'd be able to do it, you would. You're the type of person who does favors for people. And you never ask anybody for anything. You ask one time, one guy, for a favor you know he can do, and he doesn't come through. It's so frustrating. It's so difficult to hold that in and not want to go out and broadcast and tell people, “You see this guy? What do I ask for? Nothing. I was there for him so many times in life. I come in and ask him one thing. And does he come through? No.”
Says the halacha, you're not allowed to degrade a person who refused to do someone a favor. Those are character faults that you're not allowed to tell over to other people. Absolute lashon hara (harmful speech).
Now, guys, this applies even if the guy who was asked to do a favor was doing a favor for someone else, and you were an eyewitness: you saw that someone asked this guy for a favor, he was able to do it, and he still decided not to. Still, you're not allowed to tell other people that this guy did not come through and did not do a favor for other people. Amazing.
However, if we're talking here about you yourself, where you yourself asked this guy for a favor, and you know he can do it for you, and you're always there for him, and he didn't come through for you and told you no, if you're now going to tell other people that this guy didn't do you the favor, it's not only lashon hara, but also a second averah (transgression). It's also revenge. Therefore, no matter whether the guy was able to do it for you or not, you're not allowed to tell anybody else that he did not do the favor. Don't take revenge.
Just a quick recap. If he didn't do a favor for someone else, even if you saw it, that's lashon hara; you're not allowed to tell it over. If he didn't do you a favor, you're not allowed to tell it over either. It's two problems: lashon hara and the averah of taking revenge.
Quickly, I just want to mention a thought. Why does a guy sometimes find himself in these positions? You went out and did favors for this person your whole life, and now you're asking them for a favor, and they flat-out say no. And it's so frustrating. Why do you think sometimes Hashem puts us in these positions? Maybe just as a thought: how many times do we come to Hashem and ask Him to do us a favor in an area where we ourselves weren't really so good? “Hashem, please be rachum (merciful). Please be chanun (gracious).” Hashem says, “Wait one second. You're asking me to be rachum, chanun? Are you rachum and chanun?” See, you're asking me to do you a favor about something that you don't really deserve, something that, when it came time for you to do that favor for others, you didn't come through. So sometimes He puts us in this position. And He has us ask people for a favor, and we get flat-out, straight-out put down. Hashem says, “Remember. How are you going to react?” Realize: be mevater, let it go. And if you do so, when you ask me for favors, even if you don't deserve it, I'll be mevater, and I'll do you the favor as well.
I want to mention to our I-Torah listeners for this program, these halachot are going to be taken down for about a month, because we're making a series that's going to be found in a banner at the bottom of the page that's going to be about Shemirat HaLashon daily. So for the next 30 days, if you don't see these halachot, remember, it's coming back soon. Thank you for listening.