We’re continuing the study of Menorat HaMa'or, and we’re on daf peh (page eighty). It begins perek sheni (the second chapter): “Leharchik min ha'adam kol ha'itim zemanot lavo lo besibat hamishgal gazru” (they decreed safeguards to distance a person from sexual misconduct). The Rabbis were concerned that a person might pursue his lust for women, so they made many fences to prevent that. They understood that it doesn’t begin with the averah (transgression). There are steps before that, so they have to block you before you get to the averah itself.
“Shelo yistakel be'ishah” (that he should not look at a woman): they told you that you’re not allowed to look at a woman, not even at her clothes. You’re not looking at the woman; you’re looking at her clothes. This is “kedei shelo yavo lidei hirhur” (so that he does not come to bad thoughts). “Ki bameh sheha'adam mistakel” (because whatever a person looks at), “moshech libo acharav” (his heart is drawn after it). It starts in the eyes, and afterward it becomes an action.
As Chazal (the Sages) said, “eina veliba sarsurei decheta inhun” (The eyes and heart are agents of sin). When a person buys a house, he has a broker. The broker makes the deal; he’s the go-between. So who is the broker that makes a person sin? The eyes and the heart are the broker of sin. The eyes. “Lo taturu acharei levavchem ve'acharei eineichem” (Do not stray after your heart and eyes). The heart has a desire, so the eyes look, and now they broker the sin.
Therefore, they commanded people to make safeguards in this matter. We also learn in Masechet Bava Batra that “ve'otzem einav mere'ot bera” (he closes his eyes from seeing evil). What case is this talking about? Rabbi Chiyya bar Abba said: “zeh she'eino mistakel benashim besha'ah she'omdot al hakvisah” (a man who does not look at women when they stand at the laundry). In the old days, the women used to go to the river to do the laundry. The Gemara is talking about a man who is careful not to look at the women while they’re cleaning clothes at the river.
The Gemara asks, “Heichi damei?” (What is the case?) If there’s no other road, he’s forced to go that way. The poor guy has to go to work and passes the river; what do you want him to do? It’s not his fault. But if there is another road and he goes that way on purpose, then he’s a Rasha (wicked person), even if he controls himself. Why put yourself to that test?
We’re talking about a case where there is no other road, and even so he has to control himself. He has to close his eyes. The text says, “lehatot einav letzad acher” (to turn his eyes to the other side). You still have to look away. You can’t say, “Well, I’m not looking, but I have to walk there anyway.” No, you have to close your eyes.
By the way, this is talking about women who were doing laundry fully dressed. This isn’t talking about a beach. They mean people in real life; that’s all. Movies are okay, and the beach is okay. They’re talking about the river. So far, we’re okay.
We also learn in Masechet Eruvin, “perek Osin Passin, perek Arba'ah Kaparah” (the chapter citation trails off), and we talked about this case on Monday. “Tanu rabanan” (the Rabbis taught): “Hamartzeh ma'ot le'ishah miyado leyadah,” a man gives money to a woman hand to hand, “umiyadah leyado kedei lehistakel bah,” and he waits in that line on purpose just to get another second to look at her.
Even if he is as great in Torah as Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses our teacher), who received the Torah at Mount Sinai, the verse says, “yad leyad lo yinnakeh ra,” and he will not be cleared from the judgment of geihinnom (the netherworld). There is a special geihinnom for that person, too.
We also learn in Masechet Kallah, “perek Rabbi Yehudah”: Rabbi Achai bar Yoshiyah says, “kol hatzofeh benashim, sof ba lidei averah” (anyone who looks at women will eventually come to sin). “Kol hamfanneh atzmo min ha'averah velo asahah” (anyone who turns himself away from sin and does not commit it), even if he is a Yisrael (Israel), not a Kohen (priest), is worthy of ascending like a Kohen Gadol (High Priest) to bring the korbanot (sacrifices). They upgrade him. As it says, “vayishlach et na'arei bnei Yisrael vaya'alu olot” (he sent the young men of the children of Israel, and they offered burnt offerings).
Anyone who holds himself back from sin in this world—even if he is “lazy” in this regard, meaning that he doesn’t commit the sin because he is lazy—will benefit from the Shechinah (Divine Presence) in the future, like the ministering angels in the World to Come. The verse says, “ve'el atzilei bnei Yisrael.” Don’t read it as “atzilei”; read it as “atzilei.” Sometimes the “atzilei bnei Yisrael,” if you’re an atzlan, “vayechazu et haElohim, vayochlu vayishtu” (they saw God, and they ate and drank).
We learn in Berachot (Blessings): Rabbi Yochanan says, “achorei ari velo achorei ishah” (better behind a lion than behind a woman). Why do non-Jews say “ladies first”? So they can look at her. They think, “Oh, they’re so nice, ladies first,” but when the women go first, they’re looking at them. The point is arayot (forbidden relations). The Gemara says it is better to walk behind a lion than behind a woman. If you’re walking with a group of people, it’s better to walk behind a woman than behind avodah zarah (idolatry). It is better to walk behind avodah zarah than behind a beit hakneset (synagogue) while they are praying. We’re not going to get into why you can’t walk behind the synagogue.
We learn in Masechet Shabbat: “tani dbei Rabbi Yishmael, mipnei mah hutzrechu Yisrael shebe'oto hador kapparah?” (Why did Israel in that generation need atonement?) This is talking about our parashah. We had to go fight against the Midyanim (Midian). Why? Because they made us sin with the women in parashat Balak (the portion of Balak). The Jewish people who went to fight that war in Midyan needed a kapparah (atonement).
The text says, “mipnei shezanu eineihem min ha'ervah” (because their eyes benefited from nakedness). At the end of the day, when they took jewelry from the women as spoils of war, they got some pleasure from looking at the women from whom they took it. The Torah said to take the spoils, but they benefited when they looked at the women.
Why, when the Torah lists the jewelry, does it mention the jewelry worn outside, on the fingers, along with the jewelry women used to wear inside? It mentions the inner jewelry along with the outer jewelry. There is a jewelry called a kumaz (ornament). Kumaz stands for kan mekom zimah: that they put the jewelry in the place of the forbidden relations. That’s where they used to put it. I’m talking about rings and kumaz. Why mention both kinds of jewelry? The Gemara gives another answer: “kol hamistakel be'etzba ktanah shel ishah ke'ilu mistakel bimkom hatoraf” (anyone who looks at a woman’s little finger is as if he is looking at the place itself). Looking is looking; it’s staring.
Rabbi Yitzchak said, “tefach be'ishah ervah” (a handbreadth of a woman is nakedness). Even three inches of a woman’s body is considered ervah (nakedness). What does that mean? If it means staring at her, Rabbi Sheshet said you can’t even look at her little finger, let alone a handbreadth. Rather, it means that even in front of his own wife, a man may not recite Kriyat Shema (the recitation of the Shema) if a handbreadth of her body is uncovered. The Rabbis have a problem at weddings: when they come to the chuppah (wedding canopy), people are not dressed properly, so there is ervah, and they have to turn their eyes away in order to say the berachot (blessings).
Rav Chisda said, “shok be'ishah ervah” (a woman’s leg is nakedness). “Shok” means anything above the knee is considered ervah, as it says, “gali shok ivri neharot, vetigali ervatech” (uncover your leg, cross the rivers, and your nakedness will be uncovered). Shmuel said, “kol be'ishah ervah” (a woman’s voice is nakedness), as it says, “ki kolech arev” (for your voice is pleasant). Rav Sheshet said, “se'ar be'ishah ervah” (a woman’s hair is nakedness). The hair of a married woman is considered ervah, as it says, “sa'arech ke'eder ha'izim” (your hair is like a flock of goats).
Rabbi Elazar said, “kol hamistakel be'ervah kashto nin'eret.” What does “kashto nin'eret” mean? It doesn’t explain it; they don’t have an interpretation. Is the beach still okay? So far, we’re okay.
“What about the hair? Sometimes wigs are nicer than a girl’s hair.” That’s not the point. The hair they’re talking about is a woman’s hair attached to her head, not whether it’s beautiful. There is no law saying a woman cannot be pretty. If that were the case, they would tell her to shave her hair off. They aren’t telling you that. Otherwise, they wouldn’t let a woman wear makeup; they’d tell her to look ugly. There is no law that a woman has to look ugly. The Torah is realistic. The law is that the hair attached to her head is considered ervah, something private.
“What if she covers it, even with a wig made from her own hair?” She cut her hair and made a human-hair wig from it. It’s not her hair; it isn’t attached. That’s the whole law: attached hair. It has nothing to do with whether it’s pretty. If a woman wears a hat and looks pretty, are you going to tell her not to wear a hat and to wear a purple polka-dot hat with stripes instead? Of course not.
Why does Chacham Ovadia (Rabbi Ovadia Yosef) not like it? Chacham Ovadia took the shitah (approach) of the Be'er Sheva. The Be'er Sheva held that it is an isura d'Oraita (Torah-level prohibition). If you want to go through the sugya (Talmudic discussion), we’ll go through it. There is another reason, but I don’t want to make you mad. “I don’t get mad.” They say hair is the sexiest part of a woman. “Okay, so there you go. What do you have to get into details for?” We woke the guy up. That’s what I’m worried about, by the way—the other guy. We’ll take a survey over here. Everybody is being recorded.
There’s a rabbi called Shiltei Giborim. You remember the rabbi Shiltei Giborim? He was one of the great Sephardic rabbis. I’ll find it for you. It’s in the Gemara about a woman going out on Shabbat. Shiltei Giborim is in Masechet Shabbat, daf kaf-tet.
Look at the Mishnah. It says, “yotzet ishah bechutei se'ar” (a woman may go out with hair strings)—strings they put in the hair, braids—“bein mishelah bein mishel chavertah” (whether her own or her friend’s). What else can she go out with on Shabbat? “Uvechavul,” a type of kerchief, “uvefe'ah nochrit” (with a wig). She can go out in public with a pe'ah nochrit (wig). What does nochrit mean? Foreign. Pe'ah, foreign hair: what we call a wig. The Mishnah says a woman can go out with a pe'ah nochrit in the courtyard on Shabbat. Only in the courtyard, so go slowly.
Then Shiltei Giborim says that this shows that married women go out with their hair covered by hair, even when they are married, but they can also wear their friends’ hair as a wig. The Mishnah in “Bameh Ishah Yotz'ah” says that a woman goes out with a pe'ah nochrit on Shabbat, and the commentators explain that a pe'ah nochrit is a cap to which beautiful hair is attached. They put nice hair on it, and the woman puts it on her head to adorn herself. The Mishnah is discussing a married woman: the Gemara explains that they let her wear it so that she won’t look unattractive to her husband. So the pe'ah nochrit in the Mishnah is just like the “hakreinl” that these women wear today. It clearly implies that it is permitted for Jewish women to adorn themselves with them.
The Gemara’s statement that a woman’s hair is ervah applies only to hair attached to her body, where you see the scalp along with the hair. Hair that covers her hair is not included in the law of a woman’s hair being ervah, and it is not considered uncovered hair. It seems that this applies whether it is her own hair or her friend’s hair, as long as it was cut off and is being used to cover her hair. Even though it is an adornment, there is nothing wrong with it.
That is the proof: the Mishnah says that a woman can go out with a pe'ah nochrit. That is already the position of Shiltei Giborim, a Sephardic rabbi from 450 years ago. What was he talking about? The minhag (custom) in Tzfat (Safed), the custom of religious women.
“Why does it say ‘in the courtyard’?” That’s a Shabbat issue about carrying. She isn’t going to take it off in the courtyard, and even if she does take it off, carrying it isn’t an issue because it is a reshut hayachid (private domain). “In the courtyard I understand, but what do they say about going outside the courtyard?” A woman has to cover her hair in the courtyard, too. In the Mishnah, the issue is carrying on Shabbat. The point is that the Mishnah shows that a woman can go outside wearing a pe'ah nochrit. Today women are not going to pull off their wigs. That is different today. But that is his proof.
What about the other approaches besides Shiltei Giborim? Bring Chacham Ben Tzion, chelek alef. Chacham Ovadia prohibits it because of mar'it ayin (appearance of impropriety). People cannot differentiate between your hair and the wig, so it looks like it’s your hair. But today everybody knows what a wig is. Does anybody doubt it today because of mar'it ayin? When you see a woman, you immediately know it’s a wig.
I’m not saying Chacham Ovadia doesn’t hold that way. But if you ask me, if that’s his whole reason, what is Chacham Ovadia’s reason? The Be'er Sheva says mar'it ayin. In this case, according to Shiltei Giborim, it wasn’t mar'it ayin: the woman wears it so that she looks like she has hair. And still, he said there was no problem. The pe'ah nochrit is also so she should look pretty. Of course. He says, “kedei shetira'eh na'ah” (so that she will look beautiful). That’s not his reason for permitting it. His reason is mar'it ayin, according to the Be'er Sheva. He was lenient about everything, but strict about this.
If you want to follow Chacham Ovadia on this, the reason he is my rabbi, but you’re going to start telling women in America to follow this, it’s very difficult for them. Everybody else is doing one thing, and they’re going to do something different. Another reason the wig may be better is that the women who cover with this—God bless them—leave a handbreadth in front, a ponytail in back, and the sides showing. Before you know it, the wig covers the whole hair.
Rabbi Messas, the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, Chacham Shalom Messas, alav hashalom, held in his teshuvot (responsa) on this subject that, on the contrary, the wig is better because it is a better kisuy (covering): it covers more of the hair. A hat moves up and around, so you can’t keep it properly. It’s the same with a kerchief; it moves.
There is another reason: if a woman comes to a public place today, which woman stands out? The one wearing a kerchief. Everybody walks into this room; whose face are your eyes drawn to first? The one who is different, the one with the kerchief. On the contrary, in a place where everybody is wearing one style, don’t stand out.
Who always argues against this and says, “No, the wig is bad”? The guys whose wives do nothing. They say, “Oh, these wigs.” What does your wife wear, a hat? “No, my wife does nothing.” So what are you talking about? If your wife wears a hat and covers her hair properly, as you say, then come and argue with me. But then they say, “Oh, these wigs.” Which kerchief does your wife wear? “She doesn’t do anything.” So what are you talking about? Stop talking.
Someone told me that if you want to take everything Chacham Ovadia says and follow it, you can’t pick and choose. You have to follow him on this issue, too. Okay, so should a man get divorced because of Chacham Ovadia? It’s not your mitzvah (commandment); it’s your wife’s mitzvah. Are you going to tell your wife? Are you going to fight with her over this halachah (Jewish law)? If a woman wants to follow it, good luck to her, but it’s her mitzvah.
It is much more likely that a woman will start covering her hair by wearing a wig than by wearing a particular kind of kerchief. All the rabbis in the community whose wives cover their hair, they cover with a wig. So are you going to tell your wife, “You’re better than Chacham Yosef’s wife, Rabbi Choueka’s wife, Rabbi Abboud’s wife, and all the gedolim in the community”? She feels awkward; all her friends are doing one thing and she’s doing something different. Are you going to go to war with her over it? Chacham Ovadia did not say to make a fight with your wife over this. If she wants to be a chassidah (pious woman), good luck to her. It’s her mitzvah.
“Shani hacha de'ee efshar. Shani hacha de'ee efshar.” “If I can’t follow one of his laws, I don’t follow all his laws.” Show me anybody who follows one hundred percent of everything that is said. Do you follow everything in the Ben Ish Chai? You follow as best as you can, and in a case where there’s a machloket (dispute). Do you follow everything in the Ben Ish Chai? Let your wife wait seven days before she goes to the mikveh (ritual bath). The Ben Ish Chai holds seven and seven, not four and seven, not five and seven. That adds two more days before she goes to the mikveh. “I follow everything in the Ben Ish Chai.” Good, so follow everything in the Ben Ish Chai. “You mean, in this case we don’t?” If you have a rabbi, you try to follow everything you can.
In this case, I asked Chacham Ovadia personally: if a woman doesn’t want to do anything, is a wig better? He said, “Of course a wig is better.” They make an armah about Chacham Ovadia and say, “Oh, Chacham Ovadia says it’s better to do nothing.” Chas veshalom. Do you think that’s what Shiltei Giborim says? Shiltei Giborim has proof from a Mishnah. Chacham Ben Tzion discusses it, too.
“When you spoke to him personally, did you tell him that sometimes the coverings don’t cover?” I didn’t discuss that with Chacham Ovadia; Rabbi Messas discussed that with him. Rabbi Messas has a teshuvah (responsum) and says, “Ledidi” (in my opinion), the wig is better than the covering because it covers the hair. “But you said Chacham Ovadia said that it’s better, too?” No, that was Rabbi Messas. He held that the wig is better because it covers the whole head, whereas the hat and the other covering move and leave hair exposed. Did he mention that to Chacham Ovadia? He wrote him a teshuvah, but we don’t have the answer back. It wasn’t a debate. Chacham Ben Tzion discusses this, too, in lamed-vav. It’s very difficult.
They had a fight for three or four months, and then he told her, “Okay, let’s go back to…” Chacham Ovadia didn’t say to make a fight over this with your wife. If she wants to follow it, good luck to her. It’s her mitzvah. “My wife told me she would never wear a kerchief, but a wig.” The husband can’t look at her for whatever reason. How about different strokes for different folks? Bediyuk (exactly).
So the Be'er Sheva—how does he understand the Gemara where it says a woman goes out with a pe'ah nochrit? He says the Gemara means specifically that she wore a pe'ah nochrit under another covering. They covered the wig—a double kerchief. That’s how the Be'er Sheva understands it. But that’s difficult to say, because the opposite is true: according to Shiltei Giborim, they specifically wore it so they could look as if they had hair. What would they gain by covering it? They go back and forth on this.
What if you don’t want to wear a wig? Can we just not wear one? Then there’s the next discussion. Once you tell me it’s not ervah, then there’s no law of ervah: if a woman is wearing a wig, it isn’t considered ervah, and you can recite Kriyat Shema and make berachot in front of it. The next question is tzeniut (modesty). Tzeniut is a separate discussion; it has nothing to do with wigs. It applies to every woman. If a woman wears something provocative, she violates tzeniut. If the wig is provocative, that’s a problem of tzeniut, too.
If a wig is very long and styled a certain way, fine: is it ervah? It isn’t ervah; it’s covered. But if a woman covers her arm with something bright red, can you say a berachah in front of it? Yes. Is it modest? No. Those are two different laws. It isn’t ervah, but it isn’t modest. You have to separate the two. A woman can cover her head with a hat and wear something tight, and that’s also not modest. That’s a separate law; it has nothing to do with a wig or not a wig. Tzeniut has to be present in every item of clothing. Even a long dress can be a problem of tzeniut if it isn’t proper, although there is no problem of ervah. That applies to a wig, a hat, and everything else.
A woman wearing a wig should make sure it’s short and appropriate. I agree that if you turn the wig into a fashion statement, that’s a problem. You can’t just say, “I’m covering my head, so I can do whatever I want.” You can’t do whatever you want; the wig has to be tzanua. The wives of the gedolim wore wigs, but they didn’t wear wigs down to the floor with all the curls and things like that. There’s no argument on that.
“Why can’t women wear pants that are loose, like regular pants?” If a woman wears loose pants, the problem isn’t that she’s wearing a man’s garment. These pants were made specifically for women. If they’re fitted, there could be a problem of tzeniut. If they aren’t fitted, it could be fine. You could wear something baggy over there, but it isn’t done. “Pants for a woman—isn’t she wearing men’s clothes?” No, the pants are made for women. It doesn’t matter that pants started with men. Today a woman buys pants in the women’s section; they’re fitted for her and have a different cut. The problem is that they’re fitted and not tzanua. If they’re baggy, you may not be violating anything, but it isn’t accepted in the world of tzeniut today, and people would turn their heads and wonder what was going on. But you’re right: a woman can wear a dress down to her knees, tripping over it, and it still may not be modest. It may be more provocative than pants.
People think it’s a parah adumah (red heifer). It’s not a chok (statute); there is logic behind the law: it is in order to be modest. “I’m wearing something long.” But it can be long and immodest. The color can be immodest, even if it isn’t fitted. So there are other factors.
“So there are just two factors: ervah and tzeniut?” Exactly. If a woman wears a short, normal wig, then it’s tzanua; there’s nothing to discuss. “Oh, but she looks good!” Where does it say that a woman can’t look good? There’s a misconception that religious women have to look ugly. People see a religious woman walking down the street and say, “Wow, she looks very good. Look at these religious women.” Where does the Torah say you can’t look good?
They think religious women have to be like the Arabs, walking around with only their eyeballs showing, wearing burqas and all that. It doesn’t say that. Otherwise, why didn’t the Torah say women have to cover their faces? Make a new law: forget about covering the head; cover the face. There’s no such law. Do you see the religious women in Bnei Brak covering their faces? Even the most religious ones? The people who started doing it were called outcasts; they were called meshunim, crazy. Why? I’m looking at her face; she has a nice face. The Chachamim (the Sages) didn’t go that far. Maybe a woman can’t wear color; maybe she has to wear black and white all day long. The Chachamim didn’t say that. What they said was, dress, but be tzanua. And what did they tell the man? Watch your eyes.
The Gemara continues with perek kamma de-Avodah Zarah (the first chapter of Avodah Zarah). “Tanya” (it was taught): “venishmarta mikol davar ra” (you shall guard yourself from every evil thing). A person shouldn’t look at a beautiful woman, even if she is single; he shouldn’t look at a married woman, even if she is ugly. “Velo bebigdei tzeva shel ishah” (and not at a woman’s colored clothes). You’re not allowed to watch a male or female donkey, a male or female pig, or male or female birds mating. It could bring a person to ta'avah (desire).
Even if the animal is as ugly as the malach hamavet (Angel of Death), it’s still prohibited. They said about the Angel of Death that he is filled with eyeballs. When a person is about to die, the Angel of Death stands above his head with his sword drawn and a drop of poison hanging from it. When the sick person sees the Angel of Death, he becomes frightened and opens his mouth. The Angel of Death puts the drop of poison into his mouth, and from it he dies. The poison is what makes the body decay and the face turn green.
“Venishmarta mikol davar ra” also means that a person shouldn’t think about a woman during the day and then come to tamei (ritually impure) emissions at night. He watches TV and then goes to sleep and has dreams.
From here Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair said: “Torah mevi'ah lidei ma'aseh, ma'aseh mevi lidei zehirut, zehirut mevi lidei zerizut, zerizut mevi lidei nekiut, nekiut mevi lidei perishut, perishut mevi lidei taharah, taharah mevi lidei kedushah, kedushah mevi lidei yirat chet, yirat chet mevi lidei anavah, anavah mevi lidei chasidut, chasidut mevi lidei ruach hakodesh, vechasidut gedolah mikulam shene'emar” (Torah leads to action; action leads to care, care to alacrity, alacrity to cleanliness, cleanliness to separation, separation to purity, purity to holiness, holiness to fear of sin, fear of sin to humility, humility to piety, piety to Divine inspiration, and piety is greater than them all, as it says). Okay, fine.
What about someone whose occupation involves dealing with women? “She'umnuto bedivrei hanashim ve'eino mistakel bahen” (his work is with women, but he does not look at them). Very difficult. The Holy One, blessed be He, praises that person himself. Three people are praised by the Holy One, blessed be He.
One is a single man who lives in a city and does not sin. Hashem announces every day, “There’s a man who lives in the city, a bachelor, and he is pure; he doesn’t commit sins.” Hashem makes an announcement about that man every day, front page of the newspaper. A man goes to Brooklyn on Monday night because he has a shiur there. He can’t come back to Deal because there’s too much driving for him. Hashem announces that this man is alone in the city, with everybody else far away, and he doesn’t commit an averah; he goes to sleep. This man is a tzaddik (righteous person).
Another is a poor man who returns a lost object to its owner. That is a big test for him. He finds an object and wants to put it in his pocket. Hashem says this man is a tzaddik and makes an announcement Himself. The third is a rich man who gives tzedakah (charity) in private. A rich man has a yetzer hara (evil inclination) to give in public and show how much money he’s giving. Hashem says: You’re giving it in private? You overcame your desire for kavod (honor). Hashem announces this man Himself.
Rav Safra was a bachelor who lived in the city. When they taught this in front of Rav Safra, he smiled, because he thought, “Baruch Hashem, Hashem announces my name every day.” Rava said to him, “Not people like you, but people like Rabbi Chanina and Rabbi Oshaya, who were shoemakers. They sat in the market of the prostitutes. The women came in, and they made shoes for them. The women came in and took their shoes, and the rabbis didn’t raise their eyes to look.”
You can ask whether they should have gone into that business or not. We don’t know; they were in that business. But they didn’t look. They used to say of these holy rabbis of Eretz Yisrael, “benach bechayeihon derabbanan kadishei de'ar'a” (in their lifetimes, the Rabbis of the Land of Israel were holy). Job was proud of this, saying, “berit karati le'einai” (I made a covenant with my eyes). “Uma etbonen al betulah” (why should I look at a young woman?). He meant that he made a covenant with his inclination not to look even at a single woman. Even though, technically, he could marry her, if it wasn’t for marriage purposes he wouldn’t look. All the more so a married woman, as Solomon wrote, “ken haba el eshet re'ehu lo yinakeh kol hanogea bah” (so it is with one who goes to his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her will not go unpunished).
Adultery is one of three things for which Scripture says a person goes to Gehinom. Number one is going with a married woman. Another is being a habitual speaker of lashon hara (evil speech), and the third is “malchut haresha'ah,” the wicked government. What is malchut haresha'ah? It is the wicked government. The text brings a verse about those who consult the heavens and astrologers. Fine, that’s the verse about lashon hara. About going with a married woman, it says, “hayachtehe ish esh becheko uvegadav lo tisarafna?” (Can a man take fire into his bosom and his clothes not be burned?) If a person walks on coals, won’t his feet get burned? So too, when a person goes with a married woman, he will get burned.
Every sensible person has to worry about the judgment of Gehinom, flee from sin, and close his eyes. That’s where it starts: in the eyes. “Merot bera” (from seeing evil), so that he doesn’t come to action.
The commentators say that each month corresponds to another body part. That’s what the Sefer Yetzirah (Book of Formation) writes. There are only twelve months and the main body parts. If I’m not mistaken, Tammuz and Av, the months we’re in now, correspond to the eyes: one is the right eye and one is the left eye. “Einei einei yoredah mayim” (my eyes, my eyes, pour down water). That is the tikkun (rectification) of Tammuz and Av. The tikkun of Tammuz and Av is the tikkun of the summer, because summer is when the main tikkun is shemirat ha'einayim (guarding the eyes).
Now, perek shelishi. “Lefi shelo yavo adam lehirhurim ra'im” (so that a person should not come to bad thoughts), and so that he doesn’t release his seed in vain, but only for the purpose of a mitzvah and having children, to perpetuate the human race. See Masechet Niddah.
Rabbi Eliezer taught: “kol ha'ochez ba'amah” (anyone who holds the male organ)—that’s the amah (the ever)—while urinating. The poor guy wants to hold it so he can aim. The Gemara says it’s as if he brings a mabul (flood) to the world. What are you touching it for? It can lead to bad thoughts.
They said to Rabbi Eliezer, “vahalo nitzotzot nitazim al raglav?” (Won’t drops splash onto his legs?) What will happen? He can’t aim; it will get on his pants. Then he comes out of the bathroom with drops on his pants, and people will think something is wrong with him. They’ll think he has a kerut shofchah (severed male organ). A man with a kerut shofchah is not fertile. If his wife has children, people will say she must have been unfaithful, and the children must be mamzerim (illegitimate children).
Look what people might do. The man was trying to follow the halachah: the rabbi said not to touch. Now he comes out of the bathroom with drops on his clothes. People will say, “Why is he all dirty when he comes out of the bathroom? God forbid, maybe he has a kerut shofchah.” But he has eight children. How did he have eight children if he can’t even go to the bathroom properly? People may say his wife was unfaithful and the eight children are mamzerim. So the Gemara says, as a result of not being able to hold the ever, you’re going to make all your children mamzerim? It answers, “Amar leh, mutav sheyotzi la'az al banav shehem mamzerim, ve'al ya'aseh atzmo rasha sha'ah achat lifnei HaMakom” (It is better for people to slander his children as mamzerim than for him to make himself wicked for one moment before God).
Why is it so serious to touch the ever while going to the bathroom? Because it can cause shichvat zera levatalah (wasted seed). Even a little touching can cause the seed to start coming out. Rabbi Yochanan said, “kol hamotzi shichvat zera levatalah chayav mitah” (anyone who releases seed in vain is liable to death). How do we know? “Vayera be'einei Hashem asher asah, vayamet gam oto” (what he did was evil in the eyes of the Lord, and He put him to death). The school of Rabbi Ami taught that it is as if he shed blood, as it says, “Hanechamim ba'elim tachat kol etz ra'anan sochatei hayeladim” (those who warm themselves among the terebinths under every leafy tree, slaughtering the children). Don’t read “sochatei” that way; read it as “sochatei.” Rav Ashi said it is as if he worships avodah zarah. Like all these sins, it is like murder and idol worship.
What is a person supposed to do when he goes to the bathroom? Shmuel and Rav Yehudah were sitting on the roof of a synagogue in Nehardea. Rav Yehudah said to Shmuel, “I have to urinate.” Shmuel said, “Hold the ever and go outside.” How could he tell him to hold the ever? Rabbi Eliezer taught that you’re not allowed to hold it.
Abaye said he treated it like a “boleshet.” When soldiers enter a city during wartime, open barrels are prohibited, while sealed ones are permitted; during wartime both are permitted because the soldiers don’t have time to pour out the wine. In wartime you don’t have to assume they made the wine yayin nesech (wine used for libation); you can drink it even though non-Jews came into the house. They’re afraid, so they won’t touch anything. In peacetime, you worry that they came in and poured the wine, so you can’t drink it.
Similarly, when the man is standing on the roof, he’s afraid he will fall. Holding the ever won’t cause him to have bad thoughts, because he’s holding on for dear life. Since they’re afraid, they won’t pour the wine; likewise, since he’s afraid on the roof, he won’t have bad thoughts. The Gemara asks what was frightening in this case. One answer is that it was nighttime and he was on the roof. Another is that his rabbi was in front of him, so he wouldn’t have bad thoughts in front of his rabbi. Another is that it was a synagogue, where the Shechinah is present. Another is that Rav Yehudah always had fear of God upon him, so he was an exception. Shmuel used to say of Rav Yehudah, “Ein zeh yelud ishah” (this is not a human being born of a woman).
Another answer is that he was married. Now we’re getting into halachah (Jewish law). It sounds as if, if a man is married, it’s okay because he has a wife. When do we say he can’t hold the ever when he goes to the bathroom? When he’s single. But if he’s married, apparently there’s no problem. “What if he’s married and it’s in vain?” They’re not going to make it in vain; he can go home to his wife. He doesn’t have bad thoughts; he has his wife.
Rav Nachman said, “im hayah nasui mutar” (if he was married, it is permitted). But what about when his wife is a niddah (menstruant)? For two weeks, when she’s a niddah, you have a problem because you don’t have your wife. Another answer is like the case of Abba, son of Rabbi Binyamin bar Chiya, who helped by holding the testicles from underneath; he wasn’t touching the ever.
Another answer is what Rabbi Yochanan said: “gvul yesh lah, me-atarah u-lemalah asur, me-atarah u-lematah mutar” (there is a boundary: above the corona is prohibited; below the corona is permitted). Here is the ever. This part is prohibited, but from the corona upward is permitted. So when is it prohibited? Here, because that’s where the seed is created. “Mah she-ein ken” (by contrast), from the corona upward, that area is okay. That’s what he told him: hold the ever, meaning above the corona. “But I want to ask the other way around.” The seed comes from below the corona, not above it. That’s the sensitive spot; above the corona is just flesh. “That’s where they cut.”
In the old days, you could marry ten wives, more. But what are we talking about generally? This is a man who is just going to the bathroom. He isn’t looking at jeans or doing anything else. He’s just going to the bathroom.
Now let’s see whether this is a halachah or whether Maran is just bringing it. Open Shulchan Aruch (Set Table), siman gimmel (section three), halachah yud-daled. It says: “Yizaher she-lo yechotz be-amah ve-yashtin, im lo me-atarah u-lematah, mipnei she-motzi shichvat zera le-vatalah. Ela im ken hu nasui. U-midat chasidut le-hizaher afilu hu nasui” (one should be careful not to hold the male organ while urinating, except from the corona downward, because it can release seed in vain. This applies unless he is married; as a measure of piety, one should be careful even if married).
Leave midat chasidut (measure of piety) aside for a moment. The next line says, “afilu mi she-eino nasui mutar le-sayei'a be-veitzim” (even someone unmarried may help by holding the testicles). That doesn’t cause the seed to come out. “Lo hutar le-nasui le-echoz be-amah ela le-hashtin” (it was permitted for a married man to hold the organ only to urinate). But stop fooling around and playing with it. We gave you permission for the bathroom, not for that.
Now look at the Mishnah Berurah, section yud-daled, subparagraph kaf-heh. Even if the organ is erect, from below the corona there is no problem. What does it mean that it “causes it to come out”? You asked whether it happens immediately. No. By touching the organ, it becomes heated, leading to bad thoughts and then to this; it isn’t immediate. For the severity of this sin, see Even HaEzer.
Why is it permitted if he’s married? “Yesh lo pat be-salo” (he has bread in his basket): the evil inclination is not as strong and doesn’t overpower him as much. If his wife is a niddah, or he is on the road and his wife isn’t with him, it is prohibited. Look at the next part: if he is standing in a place where he is afraid he’ll fall, like on a roof, there is no need to be strict when he is married. He is afraid. From that story, perhaps a single man who is afraid still has a problem, but a married man who is afraid has no problem. There were several answers.
The point of this halachah is to show you how strict they are. I can’t believe they’re even discussing it. A person goes to the bathroom, something we do every day, and they open Even HaEzer? That’s what Shovavim (the penitential period) will do to you. We don’t want to scare anybody away. There’s still a month and a half left of the summer; we don’t want to lose the customers.
Next halachah in Be'erot HaMa'or. Rav Yehudah said, “Ha-maksheh atzmo la-da'at yehei be-nidui” (one who intentionally causes himself to become erect should be excommunicated). Why is it prohibited? Because he is provoking the evil inclination. Rabbi Ami said, “nikra meshumad” (he is called an apostate). “Mesh umad” means like a man who worships avodah zarah. The way the evil inclination works is that today it tells him to do one thing, and tomorrow it tells him to do another, until he worships avodah zarah. That’s how sin starts. This happened with Solomon and his wives. The goal of the evil inclination is not to get you here; it wants to get you there. Little by little, it breaks you down until suddenly you’re doing the worst sins.
Some say that anyone who brings himself to bad thoughts cannot enter the partition of the Holy One, blessed be He. God says, “You cannot come into My section,” because it says, “vayera be'einei Hashem,” and, “ki lo chafetz resha atah, lo yegurcha ra” (You are not a God who desires wickedness; evil cannot dwell with You).
Rabbi Elazar said there is a verse, “yedeichem damim male'u” (your hands are full of blood). Whose hands are full of blood? Those who commit adultery with their hands. What does that mean? They waste their seed with their hands. Their hands are full of blood because the seed came out of their bodies, and that seed could have made children; they are wasting it.
The school of Rabbi Yishmael taught, “lo tin'af, lo tehene la-af” (do not commit adultery; do not derive pleasure from adultery). Another interpretation is, “lo tin'af, lo tehe no'ef, bein ba-yad bein ba-regel” (do not commit adultery, and do not be adulterous with the hand or the foot).
We also say there that Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said there are four things the Holy One, blessed be He, hates. One is “ha-nichnas le-veito pit'om” (someone who enters his house suddenly). You’re not supposed to enter your house suddenly; your wife may not be dressed. Always knock first or ring the bell. “Even your own house?” Yes, your own house. All the more so somebody else’s house. You can’t just walk into someone’s house unannounced. “No, I know the comba.” “What do you know the comba?” If you come home with a friend, you can’t bring him in without telling your wife. Maybe she isn’t dressed, maybe she isn’t ready, or maybe the house isn’t clean and she’ll be embarrassed. Give me a call first so I can clean the house up.
Another is “ve-ha-ochez ba-amah u-mashtin” (one who holds the organ while urinating). Another is someone who urinates naked in front of his bed. In those times, they didn’t wear pajamas; the person got up next to his bed and urinated. Another is “ve-ha-meshamesh mitato bifnei kol chai” (one who has relations in front of any living creature). You’re not allowed to have relations in front of any creature, even a dog. “It’s eib?” “What about the mice?” The Gemara answers that it means people who have relations in front of their maidservants.
“Giso shel Rabbi Yehudah nichmam ba-elim tiher kol ha-sar'anah.” From here they said that a person is not allowed to put his hand on the organ. There are three statements about the hand: “yad la-amah tikatzez” (a hand that touches the organ should be cut off); “yad la'ayin tikatzetz” (a hand that goes to the eye should be cut off); and “yad lachasuda tikatzetz.” What is “lachasuda”? I don’t know what it means. I don’t have it; I don’t know what the chasuda is.
We understand “yad le'amah tikatzetz”: touching the organ heats it up and releases seed in vain. “Yad la'ayin tikatzetz” is because it blinds the eyes. What is “yad lachasuda”? It should be something like bloodshed, but I don’t know what “chasuda” means.
We also say in the Gemara that Shmuel said, “yad machareshet, yad shofekhet damim, yad magberet yetzer hara, yad mesamme'ah, yad ma'aleh polifus (bad odor)” (the hand plows, sheds blood, increases the evil inclination, blinds, and brings bad odor). The Gemara says that anyone who puts his hand in his mouth before ritual handwashing gets bad breath. Someone comes to me and says, “Rabbi, my husband has bad breath. What should I do?” I tell her, “Have him do netilat yadayim (ritual handwashing) in the morning, and tell him not to put his hands in his mouth.” “Oh yes, he’s always playing with his teeth in the morning before he washes.” That’s why he has bad breath.
What is polifus (bad odor)? Abaye says it is the smell of the mouth, and Rava says it is the smell from the nose. We also say about those who warm themselves and release seed in vain: what are they compared to? Animals. An animal doesn’t care; it does it. So too, he doesn’t care; he acts like an animal. Another answer: just as an animal is destined for slaughter and has no share in the olam haba (World to Come), so he goes down to Geihinom and has no share in the World to Come. He also violates the prohibitions of bo'el veniv'al and similar acts, because he brings the evil inclination upon himself. Most people do not do this; the tzaddikim are careful not to warm themselves and release seed in vain.
We also say in the Gemara: what was the main sin of the generation of the mabul (flood)? They were all releasing seed in vain. The verse says, “vatishachet ha'aretz,” “vatishachet”—there was corruption. “Hashchatah” means wasting seed, “mashchit zaro levatalah.” They were corrupt and wasted seed in vain.
These people were astrologers, and they said, “alma la pachot mishita alfei shenin, la nolid, ve'anan nichei le'alma kuleh” (the world will last at least six thousand years; let us not have children, and we will live through the whole world). Their logic was that the world had to last six thousand years, which was too long, so they thought they would have no children and live for six thousand years, because they couldn’t destroy the world. They wasted their seed. The Holy One, blessed be He, said, “samtem atzmechem ikar” (you made yourselves the main thing). You think you’re the main generation? “Hareini oker shimchem shelo ta'alu becheshbon olam” (I will uproot your names so you will not be counted in the world).
How do we know this? The verse about Onan says, “Vehayah im ba el eshet achiv veshichet artzah” (when he went in to his brother’s wife, he spilled his seed on the ground). He warmed himself and released seed in vain. And about the generation of the flood, it says, “Ki hishchit kol basar” (all flesh had corrupted its way). They were judged with boiling water. “Midah keneged midah” (measure for measure): their sin involved heating themselves, so they were punished with hot water.
The school of Rabbi Yishmael taught, and Rabbi Elazar said: the generation of the flood corrupted themselves with boiling water and were judged with boiling water. Therefore, a person has to be careful not to bring himself to arousal that leads to sin, and the one who is most careful in this matter should increase in purity.
Baruch Hashem le'olam amen ve'amen.