We continue with Menorat HaMa'or (Lamp of the Luminary), on daf kuf yod (page 110). “Vegam ken yizaher miliga bidevarim shenikre'u chillul Hashem” (One should also be careful not to touch things called desecration of God's name). These are things you have to keep away from. One of them is called chillul Hashem, for which there is no atonement until the day of one’s death.
Rabbi Matya ben Charash asked Rabbi Elazar ben Azaryah, “Shamati arba'ah chilukei kapparah (atonement)” (I have heard of four divisions of atonement), which Rabbi Yishmael used to expound. There are four different levels of atonement. He asked, “Did you hear about these levels? Are you aware of them?” The reply was, “Sheloshah hen” (There are three), “uteshuvah (repentance) im kol echad ve'echad” (and repentance accompanies each one). Of course, each level needs to be accompanied by teshuvah (repentance).
Here they are. “Avar adam al mitzvat aseh (positive commandment) ve'asah teshuvah.” What does that mean? A person transgressed a positive commandment. He did not shake a lulav (palm branch) on Sukkot (Feast of Booths). The Torah says to shake a lulav on Sukkot: “Ulekachtem lachem” (And you shall take for yourselves). He did not do it, so he transgressed a positive commandment. What is his remedy? Let him say, “Chatati, aviti, pashati” (I have sinned, transgressed, rebelled). “Eino zaz misham ad shemochalin lo” (He does not move from there until he is forgiven). He receives forgiveness right away. That is the easiest method: a positive commandment, “Chatati, aviti, pashati,” and that is it; he is clean. As it says, “Shuvu vanim shovavim erpa meshuvoteichem” (Return, wayward children; I will heal your backslidings).
“Avar adam al mitzvat lo ta'aseh (negative commandment).” What is a negative commandment? He wore sha'atnez (forbidden wool-linen mixture). The Torah says, “Lo tilbash sha'atnez” (You shall not wear a forbidden wool-linen mixture). Or let’s say he ate milk and meat; he had a cheeseburger. He transgressed a negative commandment. Of course, he did teshuvah. “Teshuvah tolah.” Do you know what toleh means? “Toleh,” not “toleh.” It means pending. His teshuvah is pending, and “veyom hakippurim mechaper” (and Yom Kippur atones): he has to wait until Kippur for atonement. That is why Kippur is a big day. Which sin is this? A negative commandment. As it says, “Ki vayom hazeh yechaper aleichem letaher etchem” (For on this day, atonement will be made for you, to purify you). That verse is referring to negative commandments.
“Avar adam al keritot umitot beit din (court-imposed death penalty) ve'asah teshuvah.” What are keritot and mitot beit din? He did something punishable by karet (excision). What is an example? He ate chelev (forbidden fat), or he ate chametz (leavened food) on Pesach (Passover). These are examples of things punishable by karet. Or he did something punishable by the court-imposed death penalty. What is that? “Sekilah, sereifah, hereg, chenek” (stoning, burning, decapitation, strangulation). “Teshuvah veYom HaKippurim tolin” (Repentance and Yom Kippur suspend the punishment); you need teshuvah, and you need to pass through Kippur. “Veyisurin memarkin” (and afflictions cleanse): you also need to go through yisurin, affliction. As it says, “Ufakadti veshevet pish'am” (I will punish their transgression with a rod).
“Aval mi sheyesh beyado chillul Hashem”: However, if a person committed chillul Hashem, “ein ko'ach lo beteshuvah litlot, velo veYom HaKippurim lechaper, velo veyisurin lemartek, ela kulan tolin umitah memareket.” Repentance cannot suspend it, Yom Kippur cannot atone for it, and afflictions cannot cleanse it; all of them suspend the punishment, and death cleanses it. The only way to get atonement for chillul Hashem is death itself. Do you need teshuvah? Yes. You need Kippur and afflictions, but death is the final tikkun (the final rectification). As it says, “Veniglah be'oznai Hashem Tzeva'ot im yechupar he'avon hazeh lachem ad temutun, amar Hashem Elokim Tzeva'ot” (It was revealed in my ears by Hashem of Hosts: This sin will not be atoned for you until you die, says Hashem, God of Hosts). So you see that chillul Hashem is the most severe of punishments.
What if it is intentional? What if you do not know? What does the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) say? “Echad shogeg (unintentional) ve'echad mezid (intentional) bechillul Hashem” (The unintentional and the intentional are alike regarding desecration of God's name). We will see and show what that means.
Now, what is considered chillul Hashem? “Ve'im hu adam gadol, afilu bedavar kal nikra kenegdo chillul Hashem” (If he is a great person, even a small matter is considered desecration of God's name in his regard). The greater the person, the more sensitive the chillul Hashem. As it says in the Gemara, Yoma (Yoma tractate), “Heichi dami chillul Hashem?” (What is considered desecration of God's name?) Rav said, “Kegon ana deshakilna bisra mitebbacha, velo yahivna damei le'altar” (For example, me: if I took meat from the butcher and did not pay right away). The people in line might say, “Look at the rabbi. He’s getting it for free; he’s not going to pay.” Then the next person might come along and say, “If the rabbi can take without paying, I can steal too.” That creates chillul Hashem.
“Vehani mili be'atra dela tave'ei, aval be'atra detave'ei leit lan bah.” That applies in a place where they do not give credit. But if it is normal to give credit, then it is normal. Ravina said, “Ha Mata Mechasya atra detave'ei hu” (Mata Mechasya is a place where they give credit). Fine.
Rabbi Yochanan said, “Kegon ana, de'azlina arba amot belo Torah uvelo tefillin (phylacteries).” If people saw Rabbi Yochanan walking four amot (cubits) without Torah and without tefillin, that would already be chillul Hashem, because he is judged by a higher standard. Not only without tefillin, but without Torah and tefillin.
Rav Nachman bar Yitzchak said, “Kegon de'amrei inshei, ‘Shara leih mareih lefalanya’” (For example, when people say, “May his Master forgive that person”). What does that mean? Any time a person says Hashem should forgive him, that is already a chillul Hashem: you did something that caused people to say Hashem should forgive him. Oh no, this is a different thing. Rav Yitzchak bar Avdimi said, “Kol shechaveirav boshin mishmu'ato” (Anyone whose friends are embarrassed by what they hear about him). If you did something that embarrasses your friends, that is already considered chillul Hashem.
There is a great derashah (homiletical interpretation) from Rabbi Shimon Schwab on this. The Gemara asks, “Heichi dami chillul Hashem?” Each rabbi gave a different example. One said that if he walked four cubits without tefillin, that would be chillul Hashem; another said that if he took credit from the butcher, that would be chillul Hashem. But each rabbi introduced his example with the words “kegon ana.”
Rav Shimon Schwab explained it this way. Today, if you asked ten people on the street, “Heichi dami chillul Hashem? What is chillul Hashem?” they would say, “Those black-hat guys, when they do this,” or, “It’s those yeshiva men and religious people over there.” Most people, when asked what chillul Hashem is, point fingers at somebody else. “Chillul Hashem? Those guys over there are making chillul Hashem.” But when the rabbis were asked about chillul Hashem, they looked at themselves. The first thing they said was, “Kegon ana.” Don’t worry about how the rest of the world is making chillul Hashem; that is not your problem. You have to worry about how you are contributing to chillul Hashem. It is not about “those guys over there.” Look in the mirror. What am I doing to contribute to chillul Hashem?
The rabbis instinctively answered, “Heichi dami chillul Hashem? Kegon ana.” For me, let me think about what I might do that would make chillul Hashem: if I did not pay the butcher, or if I walked without tefillin. That is “kegon ana.”
Someone asked, “If chillul Hashem is on the highest level, is Kiddush Hashem (sanctification of God's name) on the highest level?” That might be one of the tikkunim (rectifications). Rabbeinu Yonah writes that there is another way to fix chillul Hashem, and that is to make a Kiddush Hashem.
Someone mentioned the saying that when you point your finger at somebody, you point three fingers at yourself. Very good: you are indicting yourself. That is right. That was Rabbi Malka’s voice.
Abaye said, “Kedetanya, ‘Ve'ahavta et Hashem Elohecha,’ sheyehei shem Shamayim (Name of Heaven) mitahev al yadecha.” When it says, “Ve'ahavta et Hashem Elohecha” (You shall love Hashem your God), there are two interpretations: you have to love Hashem, but there is another interpretation—you have to make Hashem beloved. How do you make Hashem beloved? “Sheyehei adam koreh veshoneh” (A person should read and study). First of all, you have to go to yeshiva and learn. “Umeshamesh talmidei chachamim” (and serve Torah scholars); you have to learn Gemara. “Vediburo benachat im haberiyot” (and speak gently with people): you have to speak softly to people. “Umikcho umattano bashuk na'eh” (and his buying and selling in the marketplace is pleasant): when he does business, he is pleasant. “Venosei venoten be'emunah” (and he conducts business honestly): he is honest.
What will people say about such a person? “Ashrei peloni shelamad Torah” (Fortunate is so-and-so who studied Torah). “Ashrei aviv shelimmado Torah” (Fortunate is his father, who taught him Torah). “Ashrei rabbo shelammado Torah” (Fortunate is his rabbi, who taught him Torah). “Oi lahem livnei adam shelo lamdu Torah” (Woe to the people who did not study Torah). A person’s behavior is a direct reflection on the Torah. “Re'item peloni shelamad Torah?” (Have you seen so-and-so who studied Torah?) People say, “How beautiful are his ways; how refined are his deeds.” Of him the verse says, “Vayomer li avdi atah Yisra'el asher becha etpa'ar” (He said to me, “You are My servant, Israel, through whom I will be glorified”). God says, “I take glory from you.”
When a person studies but does not speak gently with people, when he is rude and arrogant, does not conduct his business properly, and is dishonest, what do people say? “Oy lo lifloni shelamad Torah” (Woe to so-and-so who studied Torah). They immediately blame the Torah. Either way, it is either the Torah’s credit or the Torah’s fault. “Oy lo le'aviv shelimdo Torah” (Woe to his father, who taught him Torah); “oy lo lerabbo shelimdo Torah” (woe to his rabbi, who taught him Torah); “ashrei benei adam shelo lamdu Torah” (fortunate are the people who did not study Torah). People say, “What did they teach you in yeshiva? What are you blaming the yeshiva for?” That is what people immediately do.
“Kamah mecho'arim ma'asav, kamah mekulkulim derachav” (How ugly are his deeds; how corrupt are his ways). Of him the verse says, “Be'emor lahem am Hashem eleh ume'artzo yatza'u” (When people say of them, “They are Hashem’s people, yet they left His land”). That is the idea of chillul Hashem.
The same Rav Shimon Schwab, during the Holocaust, would go to sleep in his rabbinical clothes for a certain period while he was under investigation. They told him, “Rabbi, imagine a rabbi going to sleep in his long robe or long jacket, tie, white shirt, and hat. Why don’t you put on your pajamas?” In those days, it was very common for them to take the rabbi of the town out of his bed in the middle of the night and hang him. He said, “If I were in pajamas, it would be chillul Hashem. They would say, ‘Look at the rabbi of the town wearing pajamas.’ So at least if they hang me, I should be hung like a Torah scholar, in proper clothes.” Look how worried they were about what people would say.
I have to make one clarification. There is a misconception that I must discuss. If you ask people what chillul Hashem is, they understand it to mean what the non-Jews will say. This is a very juvenile interpretation of chillul Hashem. That is not what it is. Nor is Kiddush Hashem about what the non-Jews will say. People think chillul Hashem and Kiddush Hashem are about perception. According to that interpretation, if nobody is around or looking, and nobody will ever find out, then there is no chillul Hashem. That is not the pshat (plain meaning). It is not the pshat at all.
Rabbi Dessler discusses this in Michtav Me'Eliyahu (Letter from Eliyahu). He says that chillul Hashem comes from the word chalal, meaning a vacuum, an emptiness. Maybe that is so in Arabic, but here chalal means a vacuum, an emptiness. Chalul is like a straw that is empty. He writes that chillul Hashem is when someone lives without the recognition of “Shiviti Hashem lenegdi tamid” (I have set Hashem before me always). Kiddush Hashem means living with the recognition that Hashem is watching you at all times. That is Kiddush Hashem.
Do you want to hear what a Kiddush Hashem is? Rav Chaim Brim, of blessed memory, used to tell us that he once went to visit Rav Moshe Yehoshua Landau in the middle of the night. Rav Moshe Yehoshua Landau’s light was on, and Rav Chaim Brim wanted to ask him a question at 2:30 in the morning and learn with him. He entered Rav Moshe Yehoshua Landau’s apartment. The rabbi’s book was there and the light was on, but he was not there. Where was he? Rav Chaim Brim saw him down the hallway; he had just come out of the bathroom and was saying Asher Yatzar (Who formed man).
Rav Chaim Brim said that the kavanah (intention) Rav Moshe Yehoshua Landau had while saying Asher Yatzar at 2:30 in the morning was tantamount to the kavanah we have during Ne'ilah (closing prayer) on Kippur. He was not doing it because he saw Rav Chaim Brim down the hall. The explanation is that this great rabbi, no matter the time or place, acted with the awareness that Hashem was there. That is Kiddush Hashem. Look at his behavior: it testifies that he understands he is in the presence of God. It does not matter whether people are watching. Whether people are watching has no bearing on the meaning of Kiddush Hashem.
Chillul Hashem would mean that a person gets up in the middle of the night and says, “Nobody is watching me anyway,” takes a glass of water, and chugs it down. The next morning someone says, “What chillul Hashem you made!” He answers, “Nobody saw me! Was the video on?” “No, there was no video. But you made chillul Hashem: for a few moments, you were living without recognizing that Hashem is watching you and is with you.” That is the beginning level of Kiddush Hashem and chillul Hashem.
I will prove it to you. The Gemara, when discussing Kiddush Hashem in Masechet Sotah (Sotah tractate), gives a classic example: “Yosef shekiddesh Shem Shamayim baseter, sofo kiddesh Shem Shamayim bagalui” (Joseph sanctified the Name of Heaven in private; in the end, he sanctified the Name of Heaven publicly). The Gemara asks where Joseph sanctified the Name of Heaven. When he did not go with eshet Potifar (Potiphar’s wife).
But wasn’t that in private? It was between him and her. He was alone; nobody was there. What was the Kiddush Hashem? Did anybody know about the story? No, it was private. Was she impressed? She was not impressed; she was angry. That is not how we usually understand Kiddush Hashem, where a non-Jew says, “What a man! What a righteous person!” Here, she took revenge on him. The explanation is that Kiddush Hashem is not about what non-Jews will say. Even if non-Jews come along and say, “Dirty Jew, you’re good for nothing,” and put you in prison, you may have just made the greatest Kiddush Hashem.
What is recognized as Kiddush Hashem? He is all alone, with nobody there, but what stopped him from committing that aveirah (transgression)? Hashem is with me, and Hashem sees what I am doing; therefore, I cannot commit this. That is the greatest Kiddush Hashem: living with the recognition that Hashem is in my presence.
When a person sits down to eat a seudah (meal) alone, he came home from the kollel (advanced Torah study program) in the afternoon, nobody is home, his wife is not there, and he takes his lunch and puts it on the table with a sefer beside him. As he eats, he reads the sefer. What a Kiddush Hashem he has just made! He is sitting alone; nobody sees him. In yeshiva, everybody sees you learning. You have to learn. He is alone at his table, and he takes out a sefer. That is a Kiddush Hashem.
So the classic example of Kiddush Hashem is private; nobody is watching. Aderaba (on the contrary)! Also, I am going to explain the greater of the two.
How do you explain the Kiddush Hashem of Shimon ben Shetach? What was his story? Shimon ben Shetach bought a donkey from an Arab. When he bought the donkey from the Arab, the donkey sent it to him. When he got the donkey, there was a jewel around its neck, like a pearl or diamond. His students told him, “Birkat Hashem hi ta'ashir” (The blessing of Hashem makes one rich). “Look at that—the blessing of God! You got a donkey and a tip, a bonus.” What did Shimon ben Shetach say? “Chamor kaniti, margalit lo kaniti” (I bought a donkey, not a pearl). “I didn’t buy a fine pearl.” Go return it.
He went to return it. They told the Arab, “Listen, the rabbi said it was a mistake. You gave it to him by mistake. He didn’t pay for it.” The Arab said, “Baruch Elokei Shimon ben Shetach” (Blessed is the God of Shimon ben Shetach). That is the story.
That is a very high level of Kiddush Hashem. What was the Kiddush Hashem here? It was not just that he returned the jewel and the non-Jew said, “What a nice guy.” Shimon ben Shetach did something that made a non-Jew understand that he returned the jewel because he believes in God. What was the non-Jew’s reaction? “Baruch Elokei Shimon ben Shetach.” That is a very high level: your actions bring recognition of God to non-Jews. You do not start there. That is the highest level of Kiddush Hashem. The first level has to be recognizing that God is with you.
Some people say, “Rabbi, you don’t know the Kiddush Hashem I made the other day.” What happened? “I went out with some non-Jewish buyers, told dirty jokes, and they laughed and said, ‘You Jews are funny guys. You Jews are normal.’” Is that a Kiddush Hashem? That is the opposite. The non-Jew walked away saying that Jews are like non-Jews. What kind of Kiddush Hashem is that? Hashem was not part of the equation. If anything, you made a Kiddush atzmi (self-sanctification); you sanctified your own name and made your reputation look good. But the non-Jew did not walk away saying, “Wow, the God of the Jews…” A Kiddush Hashem is taking them to a kosher restaurant! Exactly: it is when the non-Jew walks away saying, “Wow, the God of the Jews is the real thing.”
That is not easy. What did Shimon ben Shetach do to give the Arab that impression? I once heard a simple interpretation. I think Chacham Yitzchak Yosef said it when he was with us in the shul. He said, “What motivated Shimon ben Shetach to return the jewel? I’ll tell you what normally motivates people: the thought that they might get caught. Why do people pay taxes? They are worried that the IRS will catch up with them. If they were guaranteed that the IRS would not audit them or come after them, they would not pay. Nobody pays because they want to give the government money. You pay because there is enforcement, and people know that it is strict. If a person does not pay taxes, he may, God forbid, go to jail. So he pays.”
In this case, the donkey had been given to the rabbi, and the jewel was attached to it. Obviously, the non-Jew did not know about it. He was not going to prosecute him, call the police, or take him to court. Nobody knew. Technically, he could put it in his pocket and get away with it. Some people say it was his because it came with the donkey. Very good: he could get away with it without any consequences. The non-Jew must have thought, “What motivated this man to do this unless he believes somebody is watching? Unless he believes there is a higher authority watching this story? There must be a God.”
Shimon ben Shetach’s behavior proved that there must be a God in the world. It was so striking that the non-Jew said, “Baruch Elokei Shimon ben Shetach.” If he had said, “Baruch Shimon ben Shetach,” that would not have been a Kiddush Hashem. That would have been Kiddush atzmi: “What a nice guy Shimon ben Shetach is.” You would have promoted yourself. But “Baruch Elokei Shimon ben Shetach”—now you have promoted the Holy One, blessed be He.
But Rabbi Dessler says, “Don’t start with non-Jews. That is the highest level. First you have to start with yourself, then your family, then Jews: try to publicize Godliness among Jews. After you have already gotten all the Jews to believe that there is a God, now start publicizing it to non-Jews.” But again, when most people talk about chillul Hashem and Kiddush Hashem, they focus on what non-Jews will or will not say.
Someone asked about a recent eBay story: a man bought a couch, opened it, found $50,000 in cash, and returned the money. “I don’t know if he was Jewish.” Someone replied, “He is Jewish.” The point was raised that people may scrutinize the act according to how they want to see it. Sometimes the scrutiny will go against you, and sometimes it will go in your favor. Joseph’s case was scrutinized against him; she was upset with him. The examples of “kegon ana” also concern the public’s reaction. Correct: that is a higher level of Kiddush Hashem. Those rabbis had already reached the level where they were making Kiddush Hashem among Jews. They wanted to know what people would say, so as not to cast aspersions on religious people. They had already taken Kiddush Hashem to the next level. But most people have not reached that level yet. Forget what other people will say; what are you doing for yourself? Shimon ben Shetach reached the highest level: he was able to bring an Arab to belief in Hashem.
Now, “Im hazman hu she'at hashemad” (if the time is one of religious persecution), “o befarhesya” (or it is in public), there is another law. Let’s say the non-Jews are persecuting us and do not let us keep the laws. The halachah (Jewish law) says that you are allowed to give up your life for God, even for a small minhag (custom). In the old days, Jews used to wear a particular kind of shoe or different shoelaces. Wearing a black shoelace is not normally a case of “yehareg ve'al ya'avor” (be killed rather than transgress). But if it is a time of persecution and the non-Jews make a gezerah (decree) that you cannot wear that shoelace, you are allowed to give up your life to fulfill even the smallest custom.
“Afilu bedavar kal lechol adam nikra chillul Hashem, lefi shekavanatam metzavei laharos ha'emunah, ve'al ken yehareg ve'al ya'avor” (Even a small matter is considered desecration of God's name for anyone, because their intention is to destroy the faith; therefore, one must be killed rather than transgress). Here is a story. When Ravin came, he said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan: “Afilu shelo beshe'at hashemad, la amran ela betzena” (Even when it is not a time of persecution, this was said only about doing it in private). But in public, even for a small commandment, one must be killed rather than transgress.
What is a small commandment? Rav said, “Afilu leshinuyei arketa demesana”—even to change the shoelaces. How many people make it public? Rabbi Yaakov said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan, “Ein parhesya pachot me'asarah benei adam” (A public setting is no fewer than ten people). It has to be at least ten.
“Vechol ben da'at yilmad bimah she'asu avoteinu harishonim.” Every person of understanding should learn from what our forefathers did. Avraham Avinu (Abraham our father) was in Ur Kasdim (Ur of the Chaldees). What did Avraham Avinu do? They wanted him to worship avodah zarah (idolatry). Nimrod told him, “If you do not worship idols, I will throw you into the fire.” At the binding, Yitzchak was willing to give up his life for Hashem. “VeDaniel beguba de'aryavata” (and Daniel in the lions’ den). “VeChananyah, Mishael veAzaryah bego atun nura yekidta” (and Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah in the fiery furnace). “Va'asarah harugei malchut” (and the ten martyrs), the ten rabbis who died for the sanctification of God's name, “veharugei Lod, vechol kitot hatzaddikim shebechol zman uzman hayu mosrim atzmam laharigah.” The martyrs of Lod and all the groups of righteous people in every generation gave themselves over to death for the sake of Kiddush Hashem, “vehayu konim olamam” (and they acquired their world).
There was a great rabbi called the Munkatcher Rebbe. He was in Munkatch—that is where he was from. Where is Munkatch? It sounds like Germany. “Chalab?” No, it is not next to Chalab. Munkatch is in Hungary. The Germans took him on a train to Auschwitz. One of his students found out that the Munkatcher Rebbe was on the train, so he ran to the station. They were packed like sardines into cattle cars. The student, who is still alive today and is a chazzan in the army, an old man already, was calling out to his rabbi, “Munkatcher Rebbe! Munkatcher Rebbe!” The Munkatcher Rebbe was located. The student began to cry and said, “How many people does Hashem want to die for the sanctification of God's name? Millions of people are dying for the sanctification of God's name.”
The Munkatcher Rebbe said, “No, you misunderstand. What you are seeing here, these people going to their deaths, is not called dying for the sanctification of God's name, because they have no choice. These people are called kedoshim (holy ones); they are kedoshim, but they are not making a sanctification of God's name. Kiddush Hashem is something you can make willingly, of your own free will.” He said, “Do you know when Kiddush Hashem will begin? When all the survivors of this atrocity, who saw all these things happen, continue to live with belief in God. Then the subject of Kiddush Hashem will begin.”
“What is happening here is that they are called kedoshim. But Kiddush Hashem is when you have the will to say, ‘How could there be a God? How could God do this? So I am not going to be religious.’ Kiddush Hashem begins after the war is over.”
The chazzan from Ottawa told this story—I heard him tell it, and I met him in person. He said, “This story repeats in my mind every day, and it is what keeps me going. What keeps me religious is what the Munkatcher Rebbe told me before he went to Auschwitz: Kiddush Hashem begins after the war. How are you going to react? Will you say, ‘If God did this, there must be no God,’ and become a porek ol (one who casts off the yoke), God forbid? Or will you say, ‘Hashem did what He did; it is not our business, and we have to go forward’? That is the idea of Kiddush Hashem.”
Someone asked whether, according to some opinions, a person who dies because he is Jewish goes straight to the World to Come. Possibly. The Munkatcher Rebbe understood that such a person is called a kadosh (holy one). “Did you make a Kiddush Hashem? No, you did not,” he says. “You had no choice in doing it. They took you by force and put you in a camp. Did you make a Kiddush Hashem? Maybe a Kiddush Hashem was made through you.” You are a sacrifice; you are holy, and nobody questions that. But he says Kiddush Hashem is when you have a choice: should I eat or not? You decide to do the right thing, and so I sanctified the Name of Hashem. I did it of my own volition. Strong words.
“Velo hatzaddikim bilvad asu, va'afilu mi shehayah rasha kol yamav, moseir atzmo lemitah kedei liknot olamo besha'ah achat.” It was not only the righteous. Even someone who was wicked all his days could give himself over to death to acquire his world in one hour. Do you know the story? There was a wicked man named Elazar ben Dordaya. His name was not Rabbi originally; he was Elazar. Who was he? He went to prostitutes. How old are you, Chaim? One minute—there is one over there. All right.
Elazar ben Dordaya had a powerful yetzer hara (evil inclination). He went to every zonah (prostitute) in the world. That is what he did all day, going from one prostitute to another. He had a lot of money and paid them. Once, he heard about a very expensive prostitute and had to cross seven seas to reach her. He traveled the world with a sack of money to be with her. This was obviously not a good man.
When he got there and was about to commit the transgression, the prostitute passed wind. She said, “Just as this wind will never return to its place, so too Elazar ben Dordaya will never be accepted in the World to Come.” Do not ask what kind of prostitute speaks like that, or what made her say it. Normally, Elazar ben Dordaya should have said, “Listen, I’m not paying you to give me mussar (ethical rebuke). I’m paying you for the transgression. Just do it.” He was not interested in Mesillat Yesharim (Path of the Just) at that moment.
When he heard those words, they hit him. He went and did teshuvah like nobody’s business. We will read the story; you will see. His teshuvah was so powerful that he died while doing teshuvah. A heavenly voice came out and said, “Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya mezuman lechayei ha'olam haba” (Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya is destined for the life of the World to Come). Rabbi was standing there and said, “Look at this. In one second, this man has already beaten me to Gan Eden (Garden of Eden). Yesh koneh olamo besha'ah achat” (There is one who acquires his world in a single hour).
I once heard from Rav Chaim Friedlander, in Siftei Chaim (Lips of Life): What do you mean, they called him Rabbi? Was he a rabbi? He was an ignoramus, a man who went to prostitutes. What kind of rabbi was he? He was a rabbi in one subject: teshuvah. He taught the world that you can be on the lowest level, commit the worst sins, and be a chronic addict, and still make teshuvah. He is a rabbi in the subject of teshuvah. Anyone who wants to learn the topic of teshuvah should go to Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya.
Rav Chaim Friedlander makes another point: everything is in a person’s name. It was clearly siyata di-shemaya (heavenly assistance) that those words came out of the prostitute’s mouth. It is very uncharacteristic of a prostitute to talk like that. But the Holy One, blessed be He, will never give up on a neshamah (soul). Even if a person commits the worst transgressions, Hashem will always give him a string to pull him back and help him do teshuvah. Bore Olam (Creator of the world) never writes a person off. Not only does He not write him off; Hashem wants him to do teshuvah and will even bring him back from sin.
Who put those words in the prostitute’s mouth? You have to say that Hashem brought them there. Does that mean Hashem went down to the house of the prostitute? You might say that Hashem does not belong in the house of a woman of ill repute. Sometimes rabbis come to a wedding and a student tells the rabbi, “It’s not for you, Rabbi. You’d better go home. The ladies are not dressed properly.” Have you ever heard that? We understand it. Certainly, the Holy One, blessed be He, does not belong in such a place. But He went there to save this man’s soul. The Holy One, blessed be He, is willing to forgo His own honor, going where a regular religious person would not, in order to give a person a chance.
Elazar ben Dordaya went that day to commit a transgression, not to do a commandment. But you see that the Holy One, blessed be He, is saying, “Even though you came to rebel against Me, I am still trying to save your life.” Look how much Hashem loves people.
His name is Elazar. What does Elazar mean? “El azar”—Hashem helps the person. And what is ben Dordaya? Dordaya means the sediments at the bottom of a barrel of wine. They are called shemarim (wine dregs), or dordaya. Rav Friedlander says: Elazar, God helped him; ben Dordaya, at his lowest point, when he was at the bottom of the barrel, after he had traveled seven seas to commit the transgression. He committed this sin with mesirut nefesh (self-sacrifice). That was his lowest point, rock bottom. It does not matter. Even in the dordaya, even in the sediments at the bottom of the barrel, the Creator of the world says, “I did not give up on him. You may have given up on yourself. That is your own business.”
That is why the Chasidim say, “Ye'ush shelo mida'at.” If a person despairs, “shelo mida'at”—that means he lost his mind—because you are never supposed to despair. A person should never say, “I’m hopeless. I’m too far gone. I have committed the sins so many times that Hashem has forsaken me.” There is no such thing: “Ein ye'ush ba'olam” (There is no despair in the world). The greatest proof is Elazar ben Dordaya. He proves that no matter what a person does, he can not only do teshuvah, but Hashem will help him come back.
Now let’s read the story. “Velo hatzaddikim bilvad asu, va'afilu mi shehayah rasha kol yamav, moseir atzmo lemitah kedei liknot olamo besha'ah achat, kemo she'asah Elazar ben Dordaya.” The text continues: “Kedei garsinan beperek kama de'Avodah Zarah” (We learn this in the first chapter of Avodah Zarah). “Tanya, amru alav al Elazar ben Dordaya, shelo hini'ach zonah shelo ba'alah” (It was said about Elazar ben Dordaya that he did not leave a prostitute with whom he had not been). Once he heard that there was a prostitute “sheniskereit bekarkei hayam” (who was hired in the cities overseas) and “venotelet kis shel dinarim biskharah” (took a purse of dinars as her fee). He took a purse of dinars and went across seven rivers to her.
“Uvishe'at hergel davar, hefi'achah.” As they were about to commit the transgression, she passed wind. She said, “Mah hafachah zo einah chozeret limekomah, kach Elazar ben Dordaya ein mekabbelim oto beteshuvah.” Just as this wind will not return to its place, so Elazar ben Dordaya will not be accepted in teshuvah.
What happened? “Halach veyashav bein harim ugeva'ot.” He went and sat among the mountains and hills. He said, “Harim ugeva'ot, bakshu alai rachamim” (Mountains and hills, ask for mercy for me). He thought it was impossible to do this without help, so he went to the angels of the mountains: “Please, I need you to be my advocates.” They replied, “Ad she'anu mevakshim rachamim alecha, nevakesh rachamim aleinu” (Before we ask for mercy for you, we must ask for mercy for ourselves), as it is written, “Ki heharim yamushu vehageva'ot temutenah” (For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed).
He said, “Shamayim va'aretz, bakshu alai rachamim” (Heavens and earth, ask for mercy for me). He went to the heavens and the earth and asked them to pray for him. They replied, “Ad she'anu mevakshim rachamim alecha, nevakesh rachamim aleinu,” as it is written, “Ki shamayim ke'ashan nimlachu veha'aretz kabeged tivleh” (For the heavens will vanish like smoke, and the earth will wear out like a garment).
He said, “Chamah ulevanah” (Sun and moon). He kept trying to find advocates to help him. “Why couldn’t the mountains help? Why couldn’t they?” They have their own problems. Before they ask about you, they have their own issues. When Mashiach comes, the mountains will be destroyed, so they are busy defending themselves. Then he went to the sun and the moon. They said, “Ad shenevakesh rachamim alecha, nevakesh rachamim aleinu,” as it is written, “Vechafrah halevanah uvosha hachamah” (The moon will be ashamed, and the sun will be embarrassed). “Kochavim umazalot, bakshu alai rachamim. Ad shenevakesh rachamim alecha, nevakesh rachamim aleinu” (Stars and constellations, ask for mercy for me. Before we ask for mercy for you, we must ask for mercy for ourselves).
He realized that nobody could help him. A lot of times, when a person wants to do teshuvah, his instinct is to blame something or look for excuses: “It’s my father and mother’s fault; it’s my rabbi’s fault; it’s the yeshiva’s fault.” A person does not want to take responsibility, so he goes to the mountains and to other people, but he does not look inward. The mountains say, “You want to blame us for not helping you? Good luck, but it will not help. We have our own issues to take care of.” Elazar ben Dordaya had not yet recognized that he had to work on himself from within.
Finally, he says, “Ein hadavar talui ela bi” (The matter depends only on me). If I am going to change myself, I cannot rely on the mountains, the sun, or the moon. The only one who can make a better you is you. You cannot say, “If I lived in a different city—if I lived in New York, but was born in Bnei Brak, I would be religious. If I went to this yeshiva, or had these friends…” As long as a person spends his whole life making excuses, he will not get to work. A person has to say, “You know what? Ein hadavar talui ela bi.” If I want to stop this behavior, I did it, and I can stop it.
“Hini'ach rosho bein birkav, vega'ah bivchiyah, ad sheyatzata nishmato.” He put his head between his knees and cried out until his soul departed. The crying was so intense that he died. A heavenly voice came out and said, “Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya, mezuman lechayei ha'olam haba.” Rabbi cried and said, “Yesh koneh olamo besha'ah achat, veyesh koneh olamo bechammah shanim” (There is one who acquires his world in a single hour, and there is one who acquires his world over many years).
Rabbi said, “Lo dayan leba'alei teshuvah shemekabbelim otam, ela shekorim otam Rabbi” (It is not enough that they accept those who repent; they even call them Rabbi). Now you have to understand why Rabbi was crying. What had he missed? Someone suggested, “Time from his past, probably.” Rabbi was crying. When he says, “Yesh koneh olamo besha'ah achat, veyesh koneh olamo bechammah shanim,” it means someone acquired his world in one second. Not that he was on the same level as Rabbi. That is why Rabbi is careful to say, “Yesh koneh olamo.” He did not acquire my world; Rabbi’s world is different. But he acquired his own world. For Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya, he was able to acquire himself.
Why was Rabbi crying? One interpretation is that the righteous are always engaged in introspection. At that moment, Rabbi saw the power of a second. Look what a second can do. In one moment, a person can turn his whole life around, going from being a wicked person to being called Rabbi. Who gave him semichah (ordination)? The Holy One, blessed be He, is calling him Rabbi. He can go from Gehinnom to Gan Eden. Rabbi looked at himself and said, “If that is what you can do in one second…” He was reminding himself not to waste time. Every moment in life has so much potential, and we fool around and squander our time. That is why Rabbi cried. He was not, God forbid, jealous of or sad for Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya. He was happy. It reminded him of the power of a moment, and that he had to take advantage of his own moments. Only a righteous person would think like that, take it to heart, and take mussar.
“Velo mizera Yisra'el bilvad, ela afilu me'umah acheret,” not only from the seed of Israel, but even from another nation, “kemo she'amru bekalsteniri o Keti'ah bar Shalom.” What is the story of Keti'ah bar Shalom? It is connected with the story of Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon. When Rabbi Yose ben Kisma became ill, Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon went to visit him. Rabbi Yose said, “Chanina, my brother, do you not know that this nation was made king from Heaven? It destroyed the House, burned its sanctuary, killed its pious ones, destroyed its finest people, and yet it still exists. I have heard about you that you sit and study Torah, gather crowds in public, and have a Torah scroll resting in your lap. Are you not afraid for your life? I hear that you give public lessons. Are you not afraid?”
He replied, “Min hashamayim yerachamu” (May Heaven have mercy). Rabbi Yose said, “I am telling you sensible things, and you tell me, ‘May Heaven have mercy’? I am telling you facts: the Romans will kill you for this, and you answer that Hashem will have mercy? I would be astonished if they did not burn you and your Torah scroll in the fire.” He was telling him that he should not be doing it.
Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon asked him, “Rabbi, mah ani lechayei ha'olam haba?” (Rabbi, what is my standing regarding the World to Come?) Rabbi Yose replied, “Kelum ma'aseh ba leyadcha?” (Has anything ever come your way?) He said, “Me'ot Purim nitchalefu li beme'ot shel tzedakah” (Money for Purim became mixed up with money for charity). It seems the Purim money was his own, while the charity money was charity. What did he do? “Vechelaktim la'aniyim” (I distributed it to the poor). Rabbi Yose said, “Im ken, mechelkcha yehi chelki umigoralcha yehi gorali” (If so, may my portion be like your portion, and my lot like your lot). If that is what you did, you have nothing to worry about. I wish I were in your position. We will see what that means in a moment.
“Lo hayu yamim mu'atim, ad sheniftar Rabbi Yose ben Kisma.” A few days later, Rabbi Yose ben Kisma passed away. All the great men of Rome went and eulogized him with a great eulogy. Interesting: they gave him a eulogy; they respected the rabbi. On their way back, the Romans found Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon sitting and studying Torah, gathering people publicly, with a Torah scroll in his lap. They brought him and wrapped him in his Torah scroll, surrounded him with bundles of branches, and set them on fire.
They brought sponges of wool, soaked them in water, and placed them on his heart so that he would die slowly, so the fire would not consume him right away. His daughter said, “Abba, bekhakh er'ekha?” (Father, is this how I have to see you?) He said, “My daughter, if I were burning alone, the matter would be difficult for me. Now that I am burning with a Torah scroll, the one who seeks the scroll’s dishonor will seek my dishonor too.”
His students asked, “Rabbi, mah attah ro'eh?” (Rabbi, what do you see?) He answered, “Gevilin nisrafim, ve'otiot porchot” (The parchment is burning, but the letters are flying away). You cannot burn the Torah. He saw the parchment burning, but the letters flying away. The Romans tried to burn the Torah, but you cannot burn the Torah.
They said to him, “Petach pikha vetikanes ha'esh” (Open your mouth and let the fire enter). They told him, “Rabbi, open your mouth and let the fire consume you.” He answered, “Mutav sheyitlenah mi shenetanah, ve'al yechabel hu be'atzmo” (It is better that the One who gave it should take it, rather than that he harm himself). Let the One who gave me my soul take it away. I do not want to do it to myself.
Klastinar said to him, “Rabbi, im ani marbeh alekha beshalehevet, venotel sfogin shel tzemer me'al libekha, attah mevi'eni le'olam haba?” (Rabbi, if I make the flame stronger and take the wool sponges off your heart, will you bring me to the World to Come?) He answered, “Hen” (Yes). Klastinar said, “Hishava li” (Swear to me). He swore to him. Immediately, Klastinar made the flame stronger, took the wool sponges off his heart, and Rabbi Chanina’s soul departed. Klastinar himself jumped into the fire and died. A heavenly voice came out and said, “Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon veklastinar mezumanim lechayei ha'olam haba” (Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon and Klastinar are destined for the life of the World to Come).
Who was witnessing that? Rabbi was there too. Rabbi cried and said, “Yesh koneh olamo besha'ah achat, veyesh koneh olamo bekhamah shanim.” Here he is saying it about Klastinar, a non-Jew. In one moment, the man went from being a non-Jew to being in the partition of Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon. It is incredible: in one moment, because he made the right decision.
We once discussed this Gemara about Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon. What does he ask his rabbi? “Rabbi, what is my standing regarding the World to Come?” We know his standing. He teaches Torah publicly, gathering crowds—thousands of students. So the rabbi says, “All right, you want to know your standing regarding the World to Come? Did you ever do anything? Give me a story about yourself.” He says, “Once money got mixed up, and I gave it all to charity.” “Oh, yes? You are in.” What are you talking about? The man has 42,000 people coming to his lessons. He is teaching Torah to the masses. Not only that, he is willing to die for it. And that is the deed that gets him to the World to Come?
The explanation is that a person is not always judged by the big things. People can rise to the occasion and do big things. The binding of Isaac—those are once-in-a-lifetime events, when a person can get the adrenaline to do something great. The real test is in the small things of life, the day-to-day matters and daily living. The fact that a person can rise to an occasion and do something great once in his life is not as impressive as doing small things consistently.
If a person really wants to judge himself, he should judge himself when nobody is watching, when he is alone, as we just learned about Kiddush Hashem. The fact that Rabbi Chanina ben Teradyon taught Torah in public may have been for honor; maybe he was doing it for glory and getting pleasure from it. But when he was alone, and the money was mixed up, nobody would know whether he took it for himself or gave it to charity. He says, “That is what you did? That is an indication that all the other things you do, the big things, are also done with the same intention. Now I know from this small story that the big things are also justified. But if you are only doing big things, maybe you are doing them for personal benefit or personal honor.” The small story reveals something about the big story. That is a very important principle.
Sometimes people are looking to do great things in life, but the great things are not always the litmus test. The barometer of greatness is the small things a person does consistently when nobody is watching. “Ekev tishma'un,” the things a person treads on—do you remember one of the first classes? The highest thing is when you go to have a glass of orange juice at midnight and nobody is looking. We just said it today: saying shehakol (the blessing “by whose word all things came to be”) with intention, while dressed properly. Exactly. You should always be dressed properly. “Degarsinan nami hatam.” The rabbi told us that. That is correct.
Keti'ah bar Shalom—who was he? “Chad mechashuvei demalchuta hava” (He was one of the important men of the kingdom). There was a Caesar who hated the Jews. He said to the important men of the kingdom, “If a person has dead flesh on his leg, should he cut it off and live, or leave it there and suffer?” They replied, “He should cut it off and live.”
Keti'ah bar Shalom said, “Chada, dela mechalit lehu lechulhu delitnehu gabach.” You want to kill the Jewish people. The Caesar said, “Yes. If someone has dead skin on his body, you get rid of it, right? So let’s get rid of the Jews.” Keti'ah bar Shalom said, “Wait a second. The parable you gave is not a good one. When a person has dead skin on his body, he gets rid of it. You will not be able to get rid of the Jews. You may be able to get rid of the Jews in this domain, but there are Jews all over the world, so you will never get rid of them. As the verse says, ‘Ki ke'arba ruchot hashamayim perasti etchem ne'um Hashem’” (For I have spread you to the four winds of heaven, says Hashem).
What does that mean? If it means, “I scattered you to the four corners of the world,” it should say “four winds.” Rather, just as the world cannot exist without winds, so the world cannot exist without Israel. Number one, if you think you are going to exterminate them, it will not happen. “Ve'od, dikaru lach malchuta keti'ah” (Furthermore, they will call your kingdom mutilated). They will end up calling your kingdom bald, because there will be an uninhabited spot.
The Caesar said to him, “Meimar shapir ka'amart” (You have spoken well). Basically, Keti'ah bar Shalom talked the Caesar out of it. “Umihu, kol dezachei leih malka shadu leih lekamonya chalila.” But the rule was that if you won a debate against the king, they would throw you into a pit. Not poison, he says; they would bury you alive.
As they took him away, a certain matronita (that lady) said, “Vai lah le'ilfa de'azla belo mechsa” (Woe to the ship that goes without a toll). Rashi explains: “Oy lecha, ho'il va'aleihen ata neherag velo malta et atzmecha liheyot chelek imahen” (Woe to you: you are being killed on their account, but you did not circumcise yourself to become part of them). It is a shame that you are not circumcised; at least you should die as a Jew and be part of their future.
Keti'ah bar Shalom fell on the head of his foreskin and cut it. He circumcised himself; he bit it off. He said, “Yehavit mechsai chalfit ve'avrit.” As they threw him in, he said, “Kol nechasai le-Rabbi Akiva ulechaveirav” (All my possessions are for Rabbi Akiva and his colleagues). Rabbi Akiva came out and expounded, “Vehayetah le-Aharon ulevanav, mechtzah le-Aharon umechtzah levanav.” A heavenly voice came out and said, “Keti'ah bar Shalom mezuman lechayei ha'olam haba.” Rabbi cried and said again, “Yesh koneh olamo besha'ah achat veyesh koneh olamo beshanim rabot.” Amazing story.
He spoke well about the Jewish people. Did he go to a mikveh (ritual bath)? Did he become Jewish right then and there? At least he had a brit milah (circumcision covenant). I do not know; there was no beit din (rabbinical court) there, but at least he had a brit milah.
We learn in Masechet Ta'anit (Ta'anit tractate): “Tanya, keshecharash Turnus Rufus et haheichal.” When Turnus Rufus was plowing the Beit Hamikdash, a decree was issued to kill Rabban Gamliel. A certain officer came and stood in the study hall, saying, “Ba'al hachotem mevukash” (The one with the nose is wanted). They called the important man “ba'al hachotem,” the one who stands upright. Rashi explains that, just as the nose makes the face beautiful, so the leader of the generation makes the generation beautiful. “Ba'al hachotem mevukash.”
Rabban Gamliel ran away. The officer found him privately and said, “If I save you, will you bring me to the World to Come?” He replied, “Hen.” The officer said, “Swear to me.” He swore to him. The officer went up to the roof, fell, and died. The rule was that if the Romans made a decree and one of their own died, the decree was nullified. “Ugmirei dechol heicha degazrei gezirta, umit chad minayehu, mevatlei lah ligezirta.” They had a tradition that whenever the Romans issued a decree and one of their own died, they annulled the decree. A heavenly voice came out and said that the officer was destined for the World to Come.
So you see again that even non-Jews can reach the World to Come in a short time. Which three non-Jews did we mention? Keti'ah bar Shalom, Klastinar, and this officer. And who else did we see? Rabbi Elazar ben Dordaya.
Here is the lesson: “Kol mi sheyesh lo da'at lehavin, yabit veyir'eh eich chayei ha'olam hazeh hevel,” whoever has understanding should look and see how the life of this world is vanity. “Hevel ure'ut ruach, vechol mah sheya'amol tachat hashemesh.” Everything a person works for under the sun is vanity. Even though everyone desires bodily life, he should consider how his days pass like a shadow. Life disappears in a second. It is better to die or be killed before one’s time and have one’s soul live forever. Look at these people. The officer died and said, “What do I care? The World to Come.” It was worth it to him. That is how a non-Jew thought. Keti'ah bar Shalom did the same. All these people understood that it is much better to give up the pleasures of this world if you can guarantee yourself the World to Come and have your soul live forever.
“Velo sheya'arich gufo zman mu'at, veyeheros emunato veya'aved nafsho la'ad.” It is not a good bargain to live in this world for a short time but destroy one’s faith and lose one’s soul forever in the World to Come. Therefore, a person should open the eye of his understanding, despise the pleasures of this world, and not be jealous of anyone going in the wrong way, to the detriment of body and soul. Even if you see that he is successful and enjoying himself, do not worry about it. “Veyasim kol cheshko le'ehov vela'avod et Hashem yitbarach,” he should devote all his desire to loving and serving Hashem. “Lilmod midotav, lalechet achareihem,” learn His attributes and follow them. In this way, he will reach a higher level and delight in eternal goodness, a supreme level that only those destined for it can reach. It is called the Jerusalem of the World to Come.
As we learn in Bava Batra, in the chapter Hamocher et Hasefinah (The Seller of the Ship): “Mai ve'el mikra'eha?” Rava said in the name of Rabbi Yochanan, “Lo chiYerushalayim shel olam hazeh, Yerushalayim shel olam haba.” The Jerusalem of this world is not like the Jerusalem of the World to Come. “Yerushalayim shel olam hazeh, kol harotzeh la'alot oleh” (In the Jerusalem of this world, anyone who wants to go up can go up). Anyone can get on a plane and go to Jerusalem. “Shel olam haba, ein olim lah ela mezumanim” (In the World to Come, no one goes up there except those who are invited).
“Salik ner (lamp) rishon” (The first lamp is complete). This is Menorat HaMa'or. There are seven nerot (lamps). Baruch Hashem, we have been able to finish the first lamp. “Baruch Hashem le'olam amen ve'amen.”
“Rabbi Chananya ben Akashya omer, ratzah Hakadosh Baruch Hu lezakot et Yisrael, lefichach hirbah lahem Torah umitzvot, shene'emar, Hashem chafetz lema'an tzidko yagdil Torah veya'adir.”
“Yitgadal veyitkadash shemeih raba. Amen. Be'alma di vera chir'uteih veyamlich malchuteih veyatzmach purkaneih vikarev meshicheih. Amen. Bechayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei dechol beit Yisrael ba'agala uvizman kariv ve'imru amen. Amen, yehei shemeih raba mevarach le'alam ule'almei almaya. Yitbarach veyishtabach veyitpa'ar veyitromam veyitnasei veyithadar veyit'aleh veyithalal shemeih dekudsha berich hu.”