Thank you to everyone who is joining us across our various forums. Baruch Hashem, we have hundreds of viewers tuning in for daily advice. Eli has chosen a particularly important topic for these ten days of reflection. Rabotai, there is a Mishnah in Pirkei Avot that states that jealousy of others, desires for things one does not possess, and the pursuit of honor can lead a person to be removed from this world. What does this mean?
There is a well-known Mishnah that teaches that when a person pursues honor, seeking respect and accolades from others, that very honor tends to elude them. We must delve into the implications of this teaching. For instance, if a person insists that their children honor them, does this mean that the children will not respect them? When the Mishnah states that honor runs away from you, what does it truly signify? It is essential to understand that sometimes, when a person chases after something, they may attain it only to realize that they were pursuing the wrong goal. They may find themselves wanting something greater.
Consider an example: a person leases a car and, after a few months, decides they want a different model, one that they perceive to be better. This phenomenon is similar to the pursuit of honor. Since honor is derived from the yetzer hara, or the evil inclination, it can never truly satisfy a person. Once they achieve what they initially desired, they find themselves wanting even more. It is not that they do not receive what they wanted; rather, their desires expand, leading them to seek additional forms of recognition.
We must reflect on how much we do for the sake of honor. How much time do we invest in our work driven by the desire for respect? Often, it is not about financial sustainability; rather, it is about the need to keep up with others. Many individuals find themselves in unending debt, spending years repaying loans simply to host a wedding, a bar mitzvah, or a bris that mirrors what their friends have done. Others may take vacations they do not even enjoy, simply because their peers are going. I have received numerous calls from community rabbis expressing concern over this epidemic. It is a serious issue that affects many families, leading to problems in shalom bayit, or marital harmony. Why does this happen? Because a person desires...