Yesterday we discussed the halakha (Jewish law) of how to deal with inviting somebody when you know this person is not saying the Beracha (blessing) over food. You’re allowed to do that. We discussed that at length. Today I would like to add an extra halakha to this. Actually, something happened to me yesterday.
One of the best things to do when you share a meal with somebody—let’s say you invite somebody for dinner, and this person does not say a Beracha. Are you even allowed to do that? You’re paying for the person’s food, and this person is on you; she’s not going to say a Beracha over the food. So what’s the best way to do it? You say the Beracha and tell the person, “I’m going to say the Beracha, and you say amen (so be it).” Usually, my uncle would go against it, but other people will say, “Okay, sure.” They don’t say a Beracha because they don’t really know; but they forget, or maybe they don’t think it’s so important. If you’re going to do it, they’re not against it. I mean, they say a Beracha on Shabbat, but for some reason, on Tuesdays, it’s not that important. So you say, “No, I’m going to say the Beracha, and you say amen.”
At that point, what they’re doing is this: normally, you have to have kavanah (intention) to be motzi (discharge another’s obligation) somebody, and he has to have kavanah to be yotzeh (fulfill one’s obligation) with your Beracha. But when you tell them, “I’m going to say the Beracha,” and they acquiesce or answer amen, that shows that they’re interested in it. And even if they don’t, it’s all because of the makhloket (dispute) over whether mitzvot (commandments) need kavanah. According to the one who says that mitzvot lo tzrichot kavanah (commandments do not require intention), even if they don’t have kavanah, just listening to the Beracha means they are already yotzeh.
Yesterday, I went to play tennis with my instructor, and he’s Jewish. We had a water pause. I said, “Hold on. Baruch atah Hashem (Blessed are You, Hashem).” What did he do? He started repeating after me. I realized that people want to say it; they just don’t know. He started saying the Beracha after me. It’s the first time in two years; I never tell him anything. He’s getting there—in about 700 years, B'ezrat Hashem (with Hashem’s help).
But Baruch Hashem (Blessed is Hashem), what you see, with all seriousness, is that he’s initiating the Beracha. Either the yotzeh, or they’re going to repeat after you, whatever. Maybe that’s the solution to the problem. So instead of arguing, “Can I do that?” initiate something. You say the Beracha, and you’re going to see. They either answer amen, listen, or follow. In that case, well, then it works according to everyone.