This week, I saw an interview with a woman who was sharing her story. Her husband was called on October 7th to join his unit. He was a reservist, and he went back to war. She was left by herself with her kids, and she explains how she dealt with it. I would like to share what she says.
Basically, she says that it was not a decision made as a couple; it was something that happened all of a sudden. It was not something they discussed or planned. It was forced on them, and he had no doubt that he was going to go and fight for Israel. She knew that and was supportive of it. But it was a five-minute notice: “Hey, we need you.” “Yes, I’m coming.” He took his things and left.
After four months—117 days exactly—she was by herself in America, dealing with her family, her kids, other responsibilities, and the business that they both took care of. She was running the business by herself. She asked herself, “Where did I get the strength to do this? How did I get the organizational skills to do this? How did I survive these four months by myself?”
She says that if she had planned for it, it probably would not have worked the way it worked then. Now, thank God, he’s back home, and she’s able to, quote-unquote, have turned the page. Hopefully, they don’t have to go back to war. Who knows? But in the meantime, she says, “I survived these four months because I surrendered, because I didn’t plan, because I was not exposed to making a decision. And I found out that there’s so much more I have that I didn’t know I had.” There was more time, more talent, and more patience. She was able to do more laser-focused jobs and responsibilities that she wouldn’t have done knowing that she was going to be in the military. She was able to do more laser-focused jobs knowing that she was going to be in the military. She had somebody else to count on.
It’s extraordinary what she says. The key word for me is surrender, and discovering that she had more power than she thought. Many times, we don’t know what we’re capable of doing until we’re faced with a situation. Sometimes, we’re able to achieve certain things that we didn’t even know we were capable of doing. She was forced into that. She discovered that she could. But the key word here is surrender. Surrender to whom? Surrender to God. Surrender to the situation that was imposed on a person. Turning to God: “God, that’s it. There’s nothing I could do.”
If we think we can do it in a sense, and we plan and do certain things, maybe we’re basically saying to Hashem, “Hashem, I got this. I’m going to plan for it, and you help me.” But the true bitachon (trust in God), the true bitachon is actually to come and say, “God, it’s my turn to keep quiet. And it’s your turn to talk. I’m listening.” Maybe it’s another form of tefillah (prayers). In tefillah, we always talk. Maybe there’s a moment in tefillah when we should keep quiet and try to listen. When we do that, God says, “That’s it. You’re finished with your speech. Let me talk. Let me come into your life, and let me help you.” For that, we need to be able to quiet down, let Him talk, and listen.
That’s exactly what Aharon did. In this week’s parasha, we know that Aharon’s two children were taken in a tragic way at the beginning of the inauguration of the Mishkan (Tabernacle). The pasuk (verse) says, “Vayidom Aharon.” It’s a deep sense of shutting down, of silence. What else would he have done? He could have prayed. He could have cried. He could have done a lot of things. That would be the normal reaction. But instead, he chose to control himself and let God talk. “How am I going to go forward from here?” He kept quiet, and he was listening.
In a sense, this gave me a lot of hope, because we know that other families were going through what this woman went through, and maybe other families were going through much worse, because their husbands are not going to come back from war or because their children are captive, because of all the tzarot (troubles) that many families are going through. How are they going to move forward? I’m no one to tell people how to go forward in such a difficult situation that, thank God, I have never experienced. But it’s time to listen. To surrender. I like that word: to surrender to Hashem. Hashem then says, “If you want me to come into your life, make me a space. I’m coming. And when I come, together we could do that in a way that you had no idea you were capable of doing.”
I just want to conclude with a pasuk. There are many forms of praise to Hashem, or prayers, whatever you want to call it. But David HaMelech says a very strong one: “Lecha dumiyah tehillah.” To you, dumiyah tehillah. Dumiyah is the word dumb. The silence is a praise. It’s so strong. Maybe in tefillah, we should learn how to quiet down a little bit and listen. Let God speak to us. Vayidom Aharon. Lecha dumiyah tehillah. When we do that, God could come into us and help us achieve certain things that we never thought we were capable of doing.