We’re before Yom Kippur, and this is the day. This is the day that we love the most of the year, according to the Gemara. It’s the happiest day of the year. HaKadosh Baruch Hu is going to clean us. Incredible chesed (kindness). Of course, we all know there’s also one condition for that. The Shulchan Aruch codifies it in Siman (section) Tav Resh Vav. He says that God cannot take care of sins between people. He says, “Look, you sin toward somebody else. It wouldn’t be fair for me to forgive you for what you did to somebody else. You’ve got to figure it out between you and the other person.”
I must share with you some pain that I have, because something happens in all the communities of the world: literally two minutes before Kol Nidrei, one friend will go to the other. “Hey, if I did anything to you, do you forgive me?” “Yes, yes, I forgive. Yes, yes, I forgive.” That’s not what they meant. That’s not what the Shulchan Aruch meant. That’s not what God meant. What God meant is that if you did something to somebody, in the words of the Shulchan Aruch, he has to make peace with the person. It is incumbent on each person to go to his friend and actually be mefaret—to go and to go into details with the person. Because many times, silently, you can feel the energy. You can feel that the person did something to you, and you need to talk about it. It’s all about the word Chazal (the Sages) use to appease him, really.
Do you really think that’s how we do things? By being on one foot a little bit right before Yom Kippur and saying, “If I did anything”? Meanwhile, you know, you butchered the guy throughout the year. You did here and there. Maybe even more. Who knows? You know what? “If I did anything. Probably not. If I did anything. I asked mechila (forgiveness).” What do you want the other person to say? “No, I’m not mochel (forgiving)”? Maybe he doesn’t even know what you did, or he knows some of it. That’s not how it works.
Actually, we excel at expanding on the details of the averot (sins) that we did toward God. But let me tell you something. This is Shulchan Aruch. Shulchan Aruch says, in Siman Tav Resh Zayin, you don’t have to be detailed with God. The Mishnah Berurah tells us, “If you just said one word: ‘I sinned.’” So we do the opposite. When we talk about the problems between us and God, we go on and on. The vidui (confession) of the Ran. The Vidui HaGadol of this one. And go and go and go and go. One word. One word would suffice.
When we talk about our friends, we say one word when we need to do the opposite, because we need to come together. Because we need to be in peace together. And by the way, if we make the effort of sitting with a person that we did something wrong to, we feel better. He feels better. They all feel better. This is important. When there is harmony between us, HaKadosh Baruch Hu comes and says, “I forgive you everything.” We should really summon the courage that we need to go and confront and be able to be transparent and translucent with our peers. When we do that, Hashem says, “You know what? They were able to do this together. I will protect them. I will give them everything.” That Hashem will have the courage to do it. Hashem will bless us and protect us. Tizku le-shanim rabot, ne'imot ve-tovot.