When you're doing what you're doing, when you're doing what's right, when you're doing chesed (kindness), when you're doing the right thing, when you're keeping the Torah, when you're doing the mitzvot (commandments), when you're doing the things that the greats want you to do, when you're doing the things that Borei Olam (Creator of the world) is asking you to do, when you're doing the right thing again and again and again, once you're doing right and you're confident you're doing right, now you should care about what people think. Now be careful that it's done in the right way. I'm doing this whether you like it or not. I'm doing it. But now I'm going to try to make sure that I package it properly. I'm going to try to make sure that it comes off nice. I'm going to try to make sure that it comes off peaceful. I'm going to try to make sure that it comes off friendly. First, I know what I'm doing. Then, once I know what I'm doing, I'm going to try to do it in the best way possible. I'm going to do it in the nicest way possible, in the kindest way possible, in the friendliest way possible.
And there are so many sources to this. I'll just give you one. Rav Yisrael Salanter quotes a famous pasuk (verse). The pasuk of Tehillim says, “When the enemies stand up against me, my ears listen.” What does it mean? Rav Yisrael Salanter says, “When people are up against me, when there are naysayers, I need to pay attention. I need to care. I need to be mindful. I need to try to do my best to do it in the best way, in the nicest way, in the kindest way, in the friendliest way, in the holiest way, in the most peaceful way.”
First, I need to decide if I'm a doer or a chaser. If you're a chaser, you'll probably not be doing that much in your life. But if you're a doer, you're going to get up and you're going to do. And once you know what you're doing and you know you're doing it right, then try to do it kindly and try to do it in a friendly way. And that's what the Mishnah means. When people see what you're doing in a peaceful, beautiful way, then that means Hashem is on your side. But if you're doing what's right, but you're doing it in an ugly way, then in all likelihood, Hashem is not on your side.
So there are two steps: first, doing what's right, and then caring about people's opinions—caring about presenting it right and caring about doing it in the right way. But if you just start off chasing, you're a chaser and you're going to have no rest. The Chatam Sofer famously writes in the Teshuva (responsum). He says that to be able to do what we just articulated, step one and step two, to be able to do what's right again and again and again, and at the same time try to make sure that it comes off peaceful and friendly and positive, is such a struggle and so hard to accomplish. Because if you just want to be a chaser, it's easy. Just chase public opinion, do your best. If you want to be a doer and ignore the world, that's also relatively easy. Not as easy, but you can do it. Just do your thing. But to do and, at the same time, try to be careful—he said this is a struggle, and this is the pasuk. It says, “you will find favor first in the eyes of God,” first in the eyes of Hashem, first you're doing right. And then you make sure that it's peaceful and pleasant in the eyes of people.
So this is our job. This is what we set out to do. Every day we wake up in the morning and we say to ourselves, “I need to do. I need to know what Hashem wants of me. I need to know how Hashem wants me to produce. I need to know what the world needs. I need to know what is the right thing to do and stand up and do it.” And once I've made my decision of what I'm going to do, I'm going to do my best to try to make sure that it's also peaceful to you. If that's your system, then that's the holy way to act. If your system is that you're just worried about noise, you'll be paralyzed on a couch and you'll likely remain stuck, and you'll give up early and you won't keep trying.