Silence is a very, very powerful thing. Most people think of silence as something passive. Speaking is action; it's proactive, and silence is a lack of action. Silence is weak. Silence is pareve (neutral). Silence is hazit. Silence is nebach (poor thing), whatever language you speak. Silence is, “Who are you? Nothing.”
Let me explain how powerful silence is. You see, if someone annoys you and you respond, now they have a quote from you. You said this. You said that Datan and Aviram are bad guys. So now everybody talks about the fact that Moshe said that Datan and Aviram are bad people. You said that your sister-in-law is a horrible person. Now the quote is out there. It may get back to her. It may not get back to her. It probably will get back to her. And the quote is out there.
So now, all of a sudden, you said something. Not just that. What likely happens once you talk enough is that whoever is out there who gets you nervous, bothers you, and makes your skin crawl now hears about it. So now you have a fight. Instead of having someone you're just getting nervous from, now you have someone you're in a fight with who's throwing darts at you, and you're throwing darts back, and they're throwing darts at you. So just make sure that when you speak, you're ready for a fight, because that's what speech usually incites.
And number three is that when you're silent, when you're silent, there's a little mystery. We don't know what you're thinking. We don't know what's on your mind. And there's a lot of power in mystery. “But I have to explain. But I have to say what I feel. Or this person is getting me so nervous. I have to make sure that my kids know this person's a bad person.” No, you don't. You're way more powerful with silence because then there's no quote, then there's no machloket (dispute), and then there's mystery. And you're much more powerful when we don't know what you're thinking than when you tell everybody what you're thinking.
The reality is, the only way to respond to frustrating things is to act. Do what you do. If you do good things, you'll be fine, because here's the rule: if you do bad things, no matter how much you talk, speaking won't help, and if you do good things, speaking is not necessary. You got that? I made up this quote this morning. I like it. If, if you do bad things, then no matter what you say, it won't help you. And if you do good things, no matter what you say, it is not necessary. We know what you do.