Someone asked Rav Chaim Brisker, Rav Chaim Soloveitchik, “Rabbi, why is it fair? You were blessed with a brain that is so much greater than mine. In order for me to understand the piece of Gemara, I have to toil and I have to work. You are so naturally smart. Why is it fair?” Rav Chaim Brisker says, “You're right. I'm not sure why it's fair to me, because you have to put in a ton of toil in order to understand it. And if you do, you've done your job. Me, even if I understand it naturally, I still have to put in the same amount of toil as you. If my brain, let's say, is a hundred times better than yours, I have to toil a hundred times more than yours. It's such a big responsibility. I don't know if I am living up to it.”
That's the attitude you have to have. You're blessed with the marriage. I don't know if I'm living up to it. I was blessed with a marriage. I don't know if I'm doing with the marriage what I should be doing. Blessed with money, I don't know if I'm doing with the money I should be doing. You don't have as much money. I might be a problem because I may not be doing as well as I need to. So what am I all proud of, what I have? That thought process needs to be in everybody's mind.
In any situation, we're the same. Anytime Hashem's given me an opportunity to speak to a lot of groups that have different challenges, I don't care if people with children with special needs, people with Yetomim (orphans), Almanot (widows), every divorce, every situation. It's always the same thing. We're all the same. I'm not better at marriage and you're worse at marriage. I don't know why Hashem made you be stuck with a husband that all of a sudden was a disaster. You might be such a bigger hero than I ever was. You probably worked through that marriage for 10 years until you let go of it. You tried so hard. Now you got divorced. You're raising children. You're the hero. I don't even know if I measure up. We're in this together. We're all the same. Every room you walk into, every person you ever meet, we're in this together. We're all the same. You're not smarter. You're not better. You're not luckier. You're not blessed. We're in this together. We're all the same.