So, Baruch Hashem, Friday is Shabbat Hanukkah, and it was a very, very hectic weekend, with kids and grandkids and everything.
There’s this device out there, I think I once brought it up in this class, called 24Six. It has a lot of Jewish music and a lot of videos. For some people, it’s the greatest thing in the world to have it, and for other people, it’s a little tricky because it might allow more exposure in their house than they’re used to. Because it has a lot of different songs, sometimes random singers, and sometimes videos.
Somehow, I don’t know whose it was, but my two grandsons were sitting on the couch on Friday afternoon with my youngest son, Moshe—you know who he is—sitting between them, and they were watching a music video on 24Six. My daughter, who is very sincere and the mother of these two boys, came over to me in the kitchen and said, “Dad, how are you letting them watch this? We can’t let them watch this. It’s not okay. It’s not for them. It’s not at their level. What are we doing?”
So I said, “Okay, I agree.” I went into the living room and said, “Moshe, I need that device.” He said, “Well, which one?” I said, “No, no, I just need it. It’s not for you.” He said, “Oh, it’s because of her. She told you. Our sister told you, and she’s the problem.” I said, “No, no, no, she’s not the problem.” He said, “Father, you love the fact that my house is just like yours, right? You love it.” I said, “No, she’s not the problem. This is my decision. This is my decision. I am your father. I don’t want you seeing this.” I took the device away. Very good.
That night, Friday night, after the seudah (meal) was over, I called my daughter over and said, “I want to tell you something. I fully agreed with you today, and that’s why I took it away. I don’t think they should be seeing it. But there’s one thing I want you to realize: you have to be careful how big a deal you make out of something like this. They’re watching a video. You don’t want to watch a video. It’s a Jewish music video. I agree. I agree that Jewish music videos today with AI could be wacky and not appropriate for your pure kids. But if they make a mistake and think the world just came to an end, you’re in trouble, because they’re going to make more mistakes. If every time they make a mistake, whether it’s in front of you or not, they’re going to think they’re going to be struck by lightning because they watch a Jewish music video, that’s not going to work well.”
I said, “I agree with you. They shouldn’t see it. I agree with you. I agree with you. I agree with you that it’s not for your children, and I agree with you in the sort of the standards you want to maintain. I fully agree. Whether I agree or not is not even the point. I don’t even have to agree. You run your own house however you want. But I agree. But you have to be careful because all of a sudden kids start to think that if they did one thing wrong, the world comes to an end.”
There are so many times when parents will chastise their child or knock their child, yell at their child for something that they don’t… So the question is, if you’ve done this for your child, you might have even done worse. And maybe God himself did 20 years ago. You might have even done worse. That’s part of the reason why you get so upset: you know you did it, and you don’t want them to do it. So you get all angry.
“You did it too,” says the Baal HaTurim. This is the commentary on Chumash (Pentateuch). He says, “What is the pasuk (verse) coming to teach? That foolishness is tied into it.” Yosef. He says that this young boy’s foolishness is tied into him, as the pasuk says in Mishlei, because a child naturally has foolishness. Whether he likes it or not, he needs to be tied to his father. He needs the relationship with his father. He needs the relationship with his father. He needs to go back to his father.
Yes, Yosef. Yes, king of Egypt. You are right. This man—you say he stole your goblet. Let’s say he stole your goblet. I acknowledge he stole the goblet. A mistake. A dumb thing to do. A bad thing to do. An egregious thing to do. Even if, let’s go with it, we assume all that is true, he was wrong. But you know how you’re going to fix the wrong? Not by throwing him into jail. The way you’re going to fix the wrong—that’s tied into every youth. The way you’re going to fix the wrong, that’s kesurah. The ivvelet kesurah in him. The foolishness is kesurah. It’s tied into his heart. The way you’re going to fix it is with him having a healthy relationship with his father. Let him go back to his father and let that relationship fix him.
The problem is the kesurah in Mishlei. The solution is the kesher (relationship) in Yisrael. The problem is that foolishness is tied into the heart of a kid. The solution is a deep relationship and a deep knot between father and son. What I think this means is this. It’s like I said to you just now. People make mistakes. They need to know that the relationship you have with them overrides the mistakes. They made a mistake. It’s okay that they made a mistake, and they get past the mistake, and it’s okay.