I am black, and I am beautiful. What does it mean, “I am black and I am beautiful”? So shechorah doesn't mean just the color black. It means dirty, that kind of black. I am dirty. It's the Jewish people talking to Hashem. And they say, “Hashem, I know I'm dirty. I know I've committed many sins. I know I have a lot of mistakes. I know I didn't live up to my full potential.”
And everyone in this room who has ever had that feeling—“I didn't live up to what Hashem wanted for me, and I wasn't as good as I could have been, and I sort of failed, or I made a promise to Hashem and I didn't keep it, or I thought I would grow and I didn't do it, or I made it accepted upon myself something less, and the year before, and the year before, and I'm still not good at it”—feels like, “Hashem is looking down at me. Hashem is disappointed in me. I look like I am dirty to Borei Olam (Creator of the world).” Hashem says, “You got it wrong. Ve'na'avah. You are beautiful. Even when you make mistakes. Even when you commit sins. Even when you would say you're a disappointment. You're still beautiful.”
That's a relationship. Our relationship with Hashem is so powerful that it is... No matter what we do, our relationship is strong. No matter what mistakes you made, no matter where you've been, no matter how much you failed, no matter how much you're a disappointment, Hashem absolutely unconditionally loves you. Case closed. Even if shechorah ani, even if I'm dark, even if I'm dirty, even if I'm filthy, ve'na'avah, I am still beautiful. This is Rashi's explanation of the pasuk (verse). Because that's what a relationship looks like. A relationship looks like, even if I mess up, even if I make mistakes, even if I do things sometimes purposely wrong, the love does not waver at all. The relationship doesn't change. One bit.
Many people in relationships feel like, well, I have to live up to a certain thing. Maybe they're a man who feels, “I have to earn a certain amount of money, or I have to be a certain level of a talmid (student), or I have to provide a lot for the house, or give a lot of time to my children. If I don't, I'm going to be a disappointment to my spouse.” And there are women who feel the other way. They might feel that they have to be a good cook, or look a certain way, or be a certain weight, or have a certain way that they talk, or be a certain kind of beautiful, because otherwise, the other is going to be disappointed. That is not a relationship. That is not a marriage. That is not unconditional. That is not derech eretz (proper conduct). That is not how you treat the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. When you make a decision to spend the rest of your life with someone, it means no matter what.