We are continuing our study of Mesilat Yesharim. Yesterday we learned the following words. He says that if you think further, you will have more clarity. The more a person invests in learning, even the same thing—in fact, especially the same thing—the more clarity they will have. They will reach a level of Tir'eh. Tir'eh means they'll be able to see with their own eyes. They don't have to hear about it or learn about it from others. They'll have such clarity that it becomes their own eyesight. So what is it that we're going to be able to see? Clear.
He says, “Ki hashelemut ha'amiti.” He says, “Real shelemut.” The word shelemut means when something is complete. Everyone likes things that are complete. Nobody buys a chair that's missing a leg—a broken chair. You're not buying a broken chair. You're not even sitting in a broken chair. Nobody buys a car that's broken. No one uses broken machines. Things that are broken, even if they look fully intact and gorgeous, have no use. You have a gorgeous phone that doesn't work. It looks exactly like the one that works, but it has zero use. You take a printer that looks beautiful, but it doesn't print. It's broken. There's one thing wrong with it: it doesn't work. It's worth nothing.
Shelemut is not something that's foreign to our understanding. When we speak about being complete, sometimes a person might think we're talking about things up in Shamayim (heaven): complete, not complete, shelemut. But you should know that shelemut is something that lives with us every single day. It's part of our lives. We don't like things that are broken, and sometimes things that are so broken are useless. Very often they look wonderful.
So what's called something complete? Complete means, A, it's not broken, and it works. What's a person that's complete? What's called a complete person? Here's a guy who won't even waste his time if a chair is missing a screw. It works, but it's a little broken. It's missing something. It's missing a handle on the left side. He's not buying it. It works, but he's not buying it because it's not complete.
But when it comes to the person himself, what's called a complete person? One would say, “Well, if his hands are there, and his legs are there, and his eyes are there, and they're working, they're operating, so he's a complete guy. He sleeps, he wakes up, he eats. He takes care of his physical needs. He's complete.” You want to see people who are not complete? Go visit the hospital, and you'll see people who are not complete. That's true. There is shelemut in the physical sense of a person. There are people who are complete, physically operating—the machine is working. And then there are people whose machinery is not working. It only takes one machine in the body not to work, and a person is already a broken vessel.
So this is the reason why we pray every day that we should have refuah shelemah. You want to have not only refuah; it has to be complete. All you need is one valve to go off, and who knows where your body ends up. It's no different from a printer. The toner is out, so it doesn't print. But everything else is working fine. Everything is running. Why is it not printing? It's a big deal. One item doesn't work; that's the way it works.
In the world of shelemut, sometimes the broken things don't affect the operation so much, and sometimes one broken thing can ruin everything. It's that way in the physical body as well. So, when people see the word shelemut, meaning complete, and it refers to themselves, they probably think about their body. So long as their body is physically fit and operating, they would say, “Baruch Hashem, I am shalem, I am complete.” However, that is only one part of the story. It's like looking at a printer from the outside and seeing all the items that look and are functioning properly.
A person has a lot more to him, and to his shelemut, than his physical, external body. The body itself has an outside and an inside, but that's all physical. There's the outside limbs; there are things hidden from the person. Inside, there's the heart, the kidney, the lungs, and many other parts that aren't visible on the outside. But that's all physical. The real shelemut of a person is who they are. It's their soul. That's what we're referring to when we say the real shelemut.
The real shelemut is not in a good chair or a good table. That's also shelemut. That's also a point. The real shelemut is also not in a body that's functional. That's also shelemut, and that's necessary shelemut. All the things I mentioned are necessary. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with wanting complete things. It's the nature of a person. You should know that the nature of a person is that they don't like broken things.
You go and buy a piece of furniture, and sometimes furniture breaks in your house. You leave it because, okay, it's already there. You're not in the mood to go pick it up, carry it out, and get another one. It costs you money, time, and effort, so you leave it. But nobody goes to buy furniture if it's missing a screw on the left side or if there's a scratch somewhere on the side that nobody can see. You still won't buy it, unless they give you a major discount. You're not buying it. You tell the guy, “Well, I'm not buying it. Look at that scratch over there on the right side, at the bottom.” The guy comes to your house and sees that your furniture has all kinds of drawings on it, from left to right. I don't think you're going to make me crazy over a scratch on the bottom left. Look at your house.
What's the answer? The answer is that people don't like to buy broken things. It's the nature of a person. We like when things are complete. Sometimes we live with things that are not complete, and sometimes we save money and are able to be enticed to buy things that are not complete. But the nature of a person is that they like things that are complete. That's the way of the human being.
But very often in life, when people are not thinking—that's what he's telling you over here—you're thinking that completeness is in the things you buy. You buy a complete car; you have a complete house. You want to make sure every brick is put in the right place. You want to make sure that every single part of your house is right. People spend years, years, designing their house. They lose sleep at night, trying to figure out: Should the window be on the top right, or should we start from the top left? Should we put the windows together, or should we put them separate? Should the windows come in this color? Should they come in this shape? People spend years of their life—not exaggerating—planning how every corner of their house should look. The basement that they're never going to see takes months of work. Should we have this? Should we have that? Is it going to be?
Ask any architect how easy it is to deal with people building a house. They're studying every corner, every part. Perfection isn't something that's distant from the human mind. It's something we spend our lives trying to perfect: years of planning and fixing and making sure the house is as perfect as possible. The perfect car, the perfect business, the perfect plan.
But that's what Ramchal is coming to tell you. If you think really well and you're a small person, you'll start to realize that you're spending your whole life trying to be perfect in everything: the way you dress, the way you look, the way you work, the way you live, the way you eat. And you're forgetting the most critical shelemut.
Imagine a guy spends his whole life trying to be perfect in everything. The guy's exercising, he's eating well, he's running, he's working the right way, he's building the right way, he's buying the right things. Everything you see about him is a piece of perfection, from the clothing on his body to the place he lives, the car he drives, the business he runs. Everything is perfect. His whole life, he's working on perfection. And could you imagine that he totally forgot about the most important part of perfection, the most important area of perfection? It's unbelievable. Hello? You have to rethink things, because if you're not going to think, you're going to end up spending your life perfecting things that don't matter.
At the end of the day, if your house has one less room or one less window or one less item, it doesn't make a difference. You're spending years of your life on it. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. But really, it doesn't make a difference. When you spend your time perfecting the less important things, it should remind you to look more into what's really important, what's important to perfect. If you really stop and think for a moment, you'll start to realize that you're missing the boat. You're perfecting everything else that's secondary.
Even your body is secondary. Your body is the most important of everything else that I mentioned, but it's still secondary. And there are many people who neglect their body, too. You think it's a big Hiddush (novel insight) that people neglect their soul? No, people neglect their body. They're trying to perfect everything else except their body. They eat everything wrong. They don't exercise. They don't take care of themselves. They're killing themselves to perfect everything except themselves. A guy's trying to perfect his house while smoking two packs a day. Every day he's destroying his lungs. Every day he's out there trying to make his life perfect, and meanwhile his body is neglected. That's a Hacham. That's a smart guy.
But even if you took care of your body 100 percent—you eat right, you have good habits, you're a healthy person, you do your best to be shalem—even then you miss the boat. Even then you miss the boat. Because of the shelemut ha'amiti, as he calls it. You know how big a line this is? Shelemut amiti. People reading this might think he's talking somewhere in heaven. This is real life. It's very simple. He's telling you most people miss the boat. They're looking for perfection, but they totally neglect the most critical area of perfection. They don't even think about it. They missed it. They're focused on everything that's not so important or less important, and they forgot what really makes a person perfect: shelemut amiti.
Remember those words. Humans are born with a desire for perfection. You don't need to acquire that desire. It is inborn. We like things perfect. But you may not realize what areas of life need that perfection. And Ramchal says, “I'm going to do you the biggest favor of your life today. I'm going to explain to you that there's a most important area you need to focus on. Along with your house, your car, your clothing, and your body, make sure you take care of that one, so that it should be perfect. It should be perfect, because it is truly the main part of perfection in your life. Without it, even if everything is perfect, everything is broken. Without this perfection—” That's why it's called amiti. Amiti means it's not just more important, but it is the real measurement of what's called perfect or broken.
The person's neshamah (soul). Before we even know what the shelemut is, we first have to know what he's talking about. It's the perfection of the person inside. It's perfecting his soul. What does it mean to perfect his soul? It's perfecting his middot, perfecting his character. What's a person worth with that character? What's a person worth when he's full of anger? What's a person worth when he's full of anxiety? What's a person worth when they're full of arrogance? What's a person worth when they're full of jealousy? And on and on and on. What's a person worth? He looks great. Everything is perfect. The house looks great. But inside, it's a disaster.
Can a person live a great life without perfecting his soul, his character, his wisdom? How do you live life at every age? How do you take advantage of the moments of life? Life has many moments. Time to cry. It's a moment. Wise people know what to do with that moment. Time to dance. Wise people know what to do in dancing moments, too. A time to build. A time to destroy. Life is not a static highway that just has one type of situation. Life has many, many, many, many situations, and they're daily. Sometimes things are changing by the minute. Sometimes you have to cry and dance in the same situation. Sometimes. And you have to have a life: how to deal with everything, how to deal with the hardships of life.
Raising a child is not so easy. Running a home is not so easy. Running a business. Dealing with partners. Dealing with customers. Dealing with crooks. Life has an endless number of situations. If a person isn't shalem, isn't complete in their wisdom, they will travel through this highway called life and feel lost. They will feel abandoned. They will feel alone. They will be terrified. You look at them on the outside; everything is great. Their couch is perfect. Their car is perfect. Their house is perfect. Their bank account is perfect. But they're broken. They're a broken person.
The real shelemut—shelemut amiti—is you yourself. That's who you are: your character, your wisdom. What a Hiddush this is. It's a big Hiddush. You just need to stop right here and think about it for the next 24 hours. You don't have to go on. We don't even have to know what the rest of the words are. It's nice to know that there's something called shelemut amiti, true shelemut. What really matters when things are broken? Which broken things really make a difference?
You're getting married. The most important part of the marriage is the part that nobody sees. It's not the gift that you're buying. It's not the dinners that you're taking each other out for. It's not that. It's the people who are present—the souls that are present. It's the wisdom of these two people. It's the character of these two people. That's what makes an awesome marriage.
Think about how much time a father and mother spend perfecting their child or trying to put their child on a road to perfection. What does every father and mother want for their children? They want them to live a perfect life, if possible. They want to make sure they eat well. They want to make sure they have parnasah (livelihood). They want to make sure they get married. They want to make sure they have a home. They want to make sure they have vacations. They want to make sure they have everything they need to live a perfect life. Imagine. And they neglect the most important part. They neglect the person.
They gave him all the nice clothing. They gave him a beautiful house. They gave him two houses. They gave him everything he needs. Everything. A credit card. They gave him a nice job. They bought him a house, and he gets married. He's already set up. Gorgeous. The guy's got a perfect life. A kid who grows up with a perfect life is very often one of the most broken people. Unbelievable. And where is it coming from? Parents who care for their children and are working tirelessly, tirelessly, with no end. The energy they have for their children to be complete. But they forgot the shelemut amiti. Unbelievable.
Imagine such a mistake, such a tragedy: they forgot, when looking at their children, that the most important part is their being complete. If they had that completeness, all the other things would be less important. Perfecting themselves—what are they working on, their character? Who's helping them do that? The street can help them? The role models in Hollywood are going to help them? Why aren't parents thinking about their children's shelemut? Who is going to raise your child with Chochmah (wisdom)? Where are they learning it from? From the universities, with what they're teaching their children?
Is education important? But today you have to be educated to be in education. Before you can go and be educated by the street, you have to have an education ready, because you can get really messed up out there. Some of the worst people out there are teaching children in colleges. A person needs to be educated today, needs to have an education for 12 years, before they're able to sit with somebody so that person doesn't mess them up. Because education is critical for a person.
Torah education. A person who's going to be a doctor, a lawyer, or a businessman needs to know how to live in this world and succeed. They have to have tools. How much education depends on the person, depends on what they're doing. That's not in question. But where are they going to learn their values of life? Today, more than anything else, they are teaching. But they're teaching everything that's backwards.
So when you look at your little child—the six-day-old child, the six-month-old child, the six-year-old child—what exactly are you dreaming about for their future? Perfection. Perfection where? Where are they getting their good habits from? Where are they getting a good, secure mind? A secure-minded human being is such a powerful person. Secure-mindedness is very hard to find today. Worry is very, very big. The pharmaceutical companies are making a lot of money. A lot of people out there need a lot of different drugs to keep them sane because they're not secure. They're all over the place. They're insecure in their relationships; they're insecure themselves.
You look at that child. What is shelemut amiti? Shelemut amiti is getting them wisdom. Who can give greater shelemut to your child than the wisdom of the Torah? It gives them every single scenario and the ability to produce in every scenario: the difficult moments, the easy moments, the middot of a person. What exactly are they going to perfect? Shelemut amiti is for every single father and mother. When they look at their child, no question, they love that child, and no question, they want perfection for that child. But if they're not looking into the matter, they're going to be blind. They're going to perfect everything except the person. They leave a broken man.
They love him, they care about him, they want him to succeed, but they checked out. He grows up, and who knows what he has? The street out there has got a lot of goodies for him. Gambling is very, very exciting. Besides the tremendous waste of time, besides the money that might be lost, forget all that. The lifestyle of a gambler is the lifestyle of a guy who's checked out of life. Checked out. That's what gambling is. Gambling means you're checked out of real life. Your mind is all day, all day, in a different place, whether you're about to lose or you're about to make money. You come home and talk to your wife; you're not home. Checked out. You come to pray; you're tafus, you're busy.
They used to have this, but they don't have it anymore, so we can't even give examples. There used to be a guy on the phone: you call him, you get a busy signal. Today nobody's busy. Call anybody, no matter what they're doing, they're available. It used to be that you'd call the guy and get a busy signal. He's not available; you can't talk to him now. The old days, those are the old days. There used to be busy signals. People weren't always available. All day. People talk to him; he's not there. He answers, and this is what he's saying: “Checked out.” That's what the street is offering.
That child you're trying to give a perfect house, a perfect job, a perfect thing—right there, they're waiting for him. “Here, take $200 for free. Start gambling with us.” He doesn't have to go to the casino. He used to have to go to places. Today you have to run away from places. You have it on your phone. “Here's a few hundred dollars for free.” Stop. Give you a Mi Sheberach (May the One who blessed) and say, “Stop.” Those are the educators of your children.
You got them the perfect phone. Perfect. Up to date. But you forgot the real shelemut. And very often, the things you got for them are the things that are going to make them broken. They're waiting for their money. The casinos are waiting for their money to gamble. The drug addicts are waiting for their money to buy their drugs. People making vodka—they're waiting for their money. Yeah, legal, of course. Gorgeous. The world is ready for your child. Here we go. Which path do you want to take? You want to gamble with us? You want to drink? You want drugs? You want it all? Give you the whole package?
You think they're selling in the streets? You think they're selling them—do you think the world out there is telling your children, “Listen, be humble. You have to be a humble person. You have to learn how to be satisfied”? You think that's what the street is teaching your children? So where exactly are they getting this shelemut amiti? Where? If not from the Torah? If not from our Torah, which literally takes the person and transforms him into a piece of shelemut. It transforms the person into a piece of completion. Complete.
All the beautiful things that make life real complete. It's so unbelievably unfortunate, says the Ramchal. The Ramchal isn't saying such big things here. But in the world that we live in, it's big. Who would have imagined that people looking for the best for themselves and their children forgot the most important item? You would have thought it was impossible. You would have thought, “Nah, can't be.” A caring father and mother, all they think about is the perfection of their children in every area. They forgot the most critical item? That's what's going on here. That's what's going on in every corner, in every block.
I'm not talking about the world of Goyim (non-Jews) out there. For them, I don't have an answer. I don't know who's going to educate their children. If you can't trust the professors and you can't trust the... Who are you trusting? The professors are supposed to be the iconic figures of perfecting the human mind. So if many of them are messed up, where's the hope exactly for the Goyim out there? I don't know. I'm talking to our people. G-d gave us such a beautiful, beautiful way.
Says Shlomo HaMelech, “The ways of the Torah are ways of sweetness, and all its paths are peaceful.” All its paths means the easy, the difficult, the challenging. Somehow you make Shalom (peace). A little bit of difficulty in your home. Okay, something happened. Not so easy. Shalom. Figure it out. Torah gives you a way to make it Shalom.
A person without Torah—let me say very clearly—a person without Torah, a child who grows up without Torah, is a broken vessel. As simple as that sounds, he's a broken keli (vessel). He may have everything, but he's broken, because a human is born broken. A human is born with all the negative attributes. He's born with anger. He's born with jealousy. He's born with competitiveness. He's born crying. He's born screaming. A human's not born perfect. He's born broken. Who's going to fix him? Who's going to fix him?
So in a simple world, the world that used to be 50, 100 years ago, the world was simpler. The street could have educated people. They could have seen the older people of the street. You know, “I see the way they are.” Today, old people are trying to be young people. Today, it's a busha (shame) to be old. To be old, you have to start to camouflage yourself to look young. And soon to be old. You have to make sure you look young. You have to act young. The old guy is trying to party with the young guy. You're the guy they're supposed to look up to. You're 60 years old. What are you doing? You're the one partying now? Aren't you past that already? Where are you? Are you out of your mind?
That's today's world. Today's world, old age is like Hifsid; it's like, “I'm your old guy.” It used to be that an older guy was a guy you respected. You see someone older, you give him respect, you stand up for him. Unfortunately, today many older people have lost that title. They don't deserve the respect because they're trying to look young instead of taking the crown of old age. I say old, not like 90. You're already 60 years old, 50 years old. You're an older person. What are you doing here? What are you doing exactly?
So years ago, 100 years ago, you could walk the streets, and even learn from the Goy (non-Jew) elder. You could learn from him. This guy gives you good lessons. They give you nice sayings. An older person used to give you all kinds of sayings, this saying and that saying. That's how they used to talk. Today you say a saying, and they don't know what you're talking about. “Why? What are you saying?” If you don't have an emoji on the message, they don't understand what you're saying. You have to show a picture. You have to send them a heart because they don't fully understand what you mean by that. I'm not exaggerating. The level of communication is so weak that you have to talk with pictures.
100 years ago, you saw an older guy. He gave you a nice idea, and you had to think, “What do you mean by that?” The streets—the regular streets, not the holy streets—were places of education for people. Grandmothers were places you went to for strength and clarity. Grandfathers represented something beautiful. That's not today's streets. So tell me, where are they getting their shelemut from? Hollywood, they're not getting it. The streets, they're not getting it. Where?
We have—we're so blessed. We're so lucky. We've had this for 3,300 years. It's not a new thing. But maybe 100 years ago, I'd say, “Okay, listen, big deal. Do you really need that to be a better person?” It was never true. But I can hear someone saying, “100 years ago, that's not so urgent. The Torah is not so... Okay, you can make it without me.” Today, it's impossible. There's no way. You can't do it.
You look at your child. If you don't give him real, clear, pure Torah, it's a very, very long shot, unless something is wrong with him and he's socially off or doesn't have any connection to the outside world, which is also not that great. What are the odds that he'll be a complete person in his life? Shelemut amiti is a very big Hiddush, my friends. Very big and very simple. True shelemut is the person themselves. And we're born broken, and we need someone or something to make us whole. And we, Am Yisrael, are fortunate. We have the Torah to make that broken child whole. And every person is saying, “Shelemut amiti.” Don't miss the boat on the real shelemut of a person.