I hope everybody's doing well. There's a book called How to Have Difficult Conversations. It sold about 10 million copies. It's a great book, by the way. The reason that title resonates is that all of us find ourselves in situations where we have to have difficult conversations, where we want our word—where we want our message—to get across to one person, two people, or whoever it is. In my line of work, we're having difficult conversations all day long. That's what you do. But sometimes we have to communicate something to our spouse, and it's hard for us. This is the way I feel about X, Y, Z, or maybe this was done wrong. Or we have to communicate to our children, our parents, our boss, or our worker.
And if you're like me—and I hope I'm not putting myself out there by saying this, because I think a lot of people are. If not, they'll just send me an emoji of a straitjacket and tell me I should go to therapy right now. There are times when I know I'm going to have a conversation and, in my mind, I'll play the chess game of what the conversation is going to be. I'm going to say this, and he's going to say that. Then I'm going to say this. Then he's going to say that. I'm going to say that. And then he's going to say this. And then I'm going to say that. The conversation never goes the way you planned, because that's the tendency of things. But there is something to be said for the fact that it's a human worry and a struggle to feel that you want your word to get out there. Like, hear me. Listen to me. This is what I'm saying. Sometimes it's difficult, and sometimes because of that we shy away from actually saying something, because we're so worried about how it's going to come across.
In this week's parasha, Moshe Rabbeinu tells Hashem, when Hashem says, “Moshe, you're going to be my leader,” after a little bit of deliberation, Moshe Rabbeinu says something to Hashem. He says, “Hashem, I'm not a man of words. I'm not a man of words.” It's interesting, because the Midrash (rabbinic homiletic teaching) uses that word, Devarim. You know, there are five books of the Torah: Bereshit, Shemot, Vayikra, Bamidbar, and Devarim. Devarim means words. And Devarim is actually the words of Moshe Rabbeinu that he spoke 36 days before he died. These are the speeches of Moshe Rabbeinu. And the Midrash says something so profound. It says that the person who said, Lo ish devarim anochi—the person who said, “I'm not a man of words”—ends up having an entire book in the Torah, Eleh HaDevarim. These are the words said by Moshe Rabbeinu, who previously, 40 years earlier, said, “God, I'm not a man of words.” And look at him. He has the most consequential words in the history of mankind. This is a person—Moshe Rabbeinu—who said, “Listen, Hashem, I'm not the guy to convey a message.” And Hashem said, “Moshe, you're my guy.” And then not only does he convey that message, he conveys the most important, consequential, meaningful messages in the history of the world. Nobody else gets their own book. It's 20% of the written Torah's words coming out of the mouth of somebody who said, “I'm not a man of words.” So if I figure out the secret sources, if I figure out what Moshe Rabbeinu had that made his words so effective, it could be a game changer for me. Because then, boom.
You know, there's Dale Carnegie. Not only did he write How to Win Friends and Influence People, whatever it is, but he also wrote another classic, which is The Art of Public Speaking, I think it is. It's a great book. And he writes there, he starts off talking about how, I'm sorry, maybe there's a lot of people who are going to go to Barnes & Noble after this voice talk. I'm sorry about that. I just was talking about books. But he writes there that people have a fear of public speaking. It's one of the biggest fears. I think Jerry Seinfeld has a line that more people fear public speaking than death. That means when you're at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the casket than the guy delivering the eulogy. That's such a brilliant line, but it's true. People fear public speaking. And he writes there that the only way to get over the fear is to realize the content of what you're saying. You have to make it not about you, but about the content. He says, when a person walks into a room, there's a fire in the building and the person's got to clear everybody. He walks into the room unabashedly, opens up the door, and says, “Guys, there's a fire. Get out.” He says, “What was on the guy?” He's afraid to be in crowds, isn't he? But the man realizes it's not about him. It's just that he has to save everybody. He has a job, and it's about the message he conveys. So the way to get over fear of public speaking is to realize it's about your message. And by the way, this is the same exact thing with Moshe Rabbeinu. For Moshe Rabbeinu, the reason he was the greatest communicator ever is because he said, lo ish devarim anochi, not a man of words. And Hashem said, “Moshe, that's exactly what I want, because it'll never be about you. It'll be about the content of what you're saying.”
So here's the message in a nutshell: We sometimes struggle with communication, with talking to people, with difficult conversations. Well, if we took ourselves out of it and just made it about the message, about the content of what we're saying—which is easier said than done. But if we're really confident in the message, it becomes much easier. Everybody have a great day.