Good morning. Torah Tuesday continues with our weekly 11.45 session. On Tuesday at 11.45, we discuss proper speech. The gift given to human beings above all other creatures in Hashem’s creation is speech, and proper speech is respect for that gift. We must not use it improperly, to harm, to lie, or to trick. Proper speech. The famous source for those laws is Shaarei Teshuvah, which mentions them at great length. Many years later, the Chafetz Chaim codified them in a sefer called Chafetz Chaim, which gave him his name. Chafetz Chaim is not his actual name; he is named after his sefer.
Now, we’ve learned that when it comes to Rechilut, Rechilut is passing on gossip. You’re not allowed to relate it, even in a case where somebody is pressuring you to speak Rechilut. “You have to tell me; I want to know,” your Rebbe (religious teacher) or somebody else might say, trying to pressure you into speaking gossip about somebody else.
Today, in the Kaf Vav Kislev portion of the daily Chafetz Chaim, chapter 1, paragraphs 8 and 9, he tells us that you can minimize the damage. Let’s say someone’s pressuring you: the boss wants to know what this other person did, or wants to know something that would result in Rechilut. You can evade the issue. You can say something, let’s call it less than true, to evade confronting or lying about the issue, because lying is also Assur (forbidden).
But if it’s obvious that the other person will not accept such an answer, then believe us. Believe it or not—and I don’t like teaching this—there’s room for lying. The sages teach us that although the seal of the Holy One—we call it the seal, the signature of the Creator of the world—is truth, and although the Torah is truth, the Torah is truth, the Torah is truth, Moses is truth, the Torah is truth, and since the silence is distant from the truth, it tells us that it’s not only something you’re not allowed to do; you should distance yourself from what is called Sheker. In such cases, he tells us, when it comes to being forced to say Rechilut, there is permission to lie for the sake of peace. The reference is to Gemara Yevamot.
It brings a case where the angels come to Avraham Avinu, a very old man, and tell him that his wife, Sarah, a very old woman, way past menopause, is going to have a child. Sarah, in disbelief, laughs. How could a couple of two elderly, barren people be granted a child? It’s probably even reasonable that she laughed. So Hashem was displeased and confronted Avraham, saying, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can it be true that I will give birth to a child when I am old?’” Guess what? Borei Olam is not telling Avraham what Sarah actually said. In the Pesukim (verses), she actually said, “How can we have a child? My husband is so old.” As she explains there, Hashem bent the truth; he switched the word in her statement for the sake of peace because maybe Avraham would be hurt if he quoted his wife. Precisely and exactly, that’s what she said.
The Gemara over there teaches us the incredible importance that the Torah attaches to Shalom (peace). Shalom between people is crucial to the unity of the Jewish people, who represent the unity of their Lord, Borei Olam. Friends and family, communities, are instructed to keep the peace. And in telling us that—based on this particular siman, or paragraph, of Chafetz Chaim, based on the Gemara, and based on the incident in the Torah—Hashem is asking us to maintain the peace. The Maharal explains that, from the Torah’s perspective, animosity between Jews is a form of Sheker. We call that Sinat Chinam, baseless hatred. Peace itself is a form of truth, and strife is a form of a lie. So when we speak with the goal of avoiding discord, animosity, and strife, we’re preserving truth and rejecting Sheker, falsehood.
Now, Chafetz Chaim makes the crucial point that though we can, in fact, not only bend the truth but lie to avoid Rechilut, we may not swear falsely, because swearing falsely is a sin in and of itself. Sometimes, as Chafetz Chaim tells us, someone is looking for one piece of information that will complete the picture. He knows someone has spoken behind his back. He knows what was said, but he doesn’t know who said it. So there’s a missing piece here. What’s the missing piece? To supply this piece of information is called Rechilut, because you’re saying, “This one said this about you.” That’s the gossiping that we’re not allowed to be involved in under the laws of Rechilut. The same would apply if one were to tell a story without mentioning names, but the listener could determine who said it. He could figure it out. Chafetz Chaim comes and says that you’re not allowed in these circumstances to reveal the truth. So you must, in fact, not only bend the truth for the sake of peace—and only for the sake of peace, not for any other reason—but you would be permitted to change the facts.
Now, Rechilut comes in many forms. Chafetz Chaim next examines a case in which the listener is not told anything new. He already knew it. And there could be a sin in telling it to him in spite of the fact that he knows it. Let’s say there was a case where two families had a bar mitzvah (coming-of-age ceremony) on the same night. That so often happens. It creates sort of a little discord between the two families. They both want the same hall. One got it, one didn’t get it. Three years later, that simple feud is almost forgotten. But they didn’t know about it. They didn’t know that one took it and one lost it. They didn’t know that they did have a fight about it, and one didn’t get it, and one did get it. It’s all fact. It’s all known. But it’s starting to fade. This is actually happening much more quickly today because the news cycle is so fast and furious. Even social networking is fast and furious, and what’s hot today is not hot a week from today. This is three years later. Someone who doesn’t get along with one of the two families wants to reignite the feud. So he remarks to one of the people, “You know, it’s amazing how many simchot (celebrations) we have these days. I’ll bet it happens.” He knows it happened. But he says, “I’ll bet it happens that two people try and book the same hall, and one gets it and takes it away from the other.” Of course, the one hearing it says, “Yes, as a matter of fact, it happened to me a few years ago.” The one who reminded him of it is guilty of Rechilut.
As with lashon hara (evil speech), it’s also forbidden in writing. You don’t have to say it. You can send a note, or a text today, or an email. It’s also Rechilut to make a negative comment about a businessman’s merchandise. Such comments are Rechilut because they’re going to create ill feeling. And this applies not only to merchandise, but to anyone’s possessions, anybody’s home, anybody’s clothing, anybody’s personal effects. Imagine somebody buys a used car, can’t afford a new one, and someone says, “I saw that car. Did you go to the junkyard to buy it?” Meaning, what a car. What a disaster. Hearing such a comment may hurt the person’s feelings. If you hurt the person’s feelings, it’s called Rechilut.